OK, so here’s the dilemma I find myself facing this morning.

Every year, when classes start for the fall semester at the University of Texas, various religious (read: Christian) groups pop up and start distributing literature. One group in particular – we’ve dubbed them “God on the Quad” – has for the past few years shown up the first couple of days of classes and they distribute these little green New Testaments to every. single. person who walks by (extra points for people wearing headscarves or turbans). They don’t distribute the full Bible, mind you, because in today’s time-crunched world, there’s a very real possibility that someone might only get through the Old Testament and accidentally become Jewish and we simply can’t have that, now, can we?

You can always tell who’s been around UT for a while, because we all start carrying them in our shirt pockets so that they don’t try to give us another one.  These guys mean well, but they’re a little obnoxious.  “Why yes, I would like to save $150 on my car insurance by switching to Jesus Christ… what?  Oh, personal saviour.  I thought you said saver.  My bad.”

Anyway.  The reason this all comes up is that they were late this year – usually they’re camped in their prime spots by 7 am on the first day of class, but when Bev and I walked through at 7:25 they were nowhere to be found. We ran into Lisa and Michael on the way up to the office – they’re such coffee snobs that they were about to walk three blocks to Starbucks when there’s a perfectly good coffee maker in our kitchen – and I expressed my amazement that God on the Quad hadn’t arrived yet.

Around midmorning I go to my mailbox and there’s a little package up there – two little green New Testaments, with a little note: “Remember who loves you! — JC” in Lisa’s handwriting.  Ha ha, very funny.

Here’s the thing: I abhor clutter on my desk (which it’s often hard to tell), and I’ve been trying to clean up but the two little green New Testaments are still sitting there, and I don’t know what to do with them.  A more callous man might just toss them in the ubiquitous blue recycling bins, but I just can’t bring myself to do that with a religious text.  I’m currently in my agnostic phase, but on the off chance that there’s some truth in religion I just don’t want to hurt my chances.

So, what do I do with two little green New Testaments that are occupying otherwise clear space on my desk?  They’ve been there for a week now.  My dilemma continues …

Update:
Lisa has the best suggestion: I think you should recycle the green bibles. You could carefully tear all the pages and sew them into a scarf and belt. And I’m sure you have great ideas on what to use the green cover to create. Make it work!

Tags: art, Bible, class, coffee, fun, funny, god, ice, lisa, literature, love, me, men, michael, press, religion, tea, texas, university, university of texas, work, writing