Hello, my name is Chris, and I am a caffeine addict. It all started many years ago when I was young and … oh, scratch it.

We’ve been out of milk for the past few days (and in a house with two world-champion procrastinators, the concept of running out and purchasing more is just beyond our grasp), thus depriving me of my morning java jolt. I enjoy coffee, but it does have to have sugar and – unless I’m drinking the ultra thick brew known in various places as Turkish, Arabic, Greek, or Cypriot coffee – some sort of dairy product (although, as I pointed out earlier, yogurt and sour cream really don’t work). Non-dairy creamer is somewhere down there next to sandpaper as toilet paper: it works in a pinch, but we’re talking the absolute baseline of acceptability here.

The reason this all came up is that I spent most of yesterday with a headache and it wasn’t until the late hours that it finally dawned on me that it was because I had gone most of the day without caffeine.

In the mornings, it’s coffee. I usually have a soda (diet, natch, as I must watch my figure) at lunch and maybe one in early afternoon, but I knock it off around 3:00 because then I’ll have trouble sleeping (this last bit having started in my late 20s. Until then I could have a French roast with dessert and fall asleep moments later).

I tried giving up caffeine once. I blame Kamran for this – he’s the one who convinced me that it would be a good idea. It was painful – literally. You don’t quite realize the effect that caffeine has on your body until you’ve experienced a week’s worth of headaches so intense that all you can do is focus on the excruciating pain. I got over it, and then discovered how hard it is to be caffeine free in this world. Seriously, go into a restaurant and try to find a caffeine free option on the menu. I dare you. (Hint: it’s called “water.”)

About a month after this little experiment started, I went to Saudi Arabia – also known as the land where you will drink coffee or tea at every meeting, and in the Middle East they drink both very strong and very sweet. And the concept of caffeine free is completely alien. Hence, about thirty six hours after landing in the Eastern Province, I was back off the wagon, and I have lived that way ever since.

So, my name is Chris, and I’m a caffeine addict. And for the moment, I’m content to live with the tall French roast monkey on my back. As long as he remembers to set the timer on the coffee maker before I go to bed.

Tags: caffeine, coffee, food