It’s been exactly one year since her last day, which means that the messages that have been sitting in my inbox are no longer part of the public record under university regulations, and they may be discarded. And so, I have just deleted every single message she ever sent me — all three thousand two hundred fifty nine of them.
I’m sure that at some point in the coming weeks or months I will regret having deleted one or two of the messages because they will contain some pertinent bit of information that I don’t have copied elsewhere. But the simple fact that I will never again accidentally stumble over one of the many many exchanges that we had in which she sent my blood pressure into orbit and caused endless ranting on the phone to various people in my support network is enough to make up for it.
I can, finally, begin to close that chapter of my life and start to forget that there was ever a time I had to work with someone as completely incompetent, self-absorbed, and narcissistic as her.
Tags: annoying-people, work
Rest in Peace to the e-mails. Worrying about the one or two pertinent e-mails after the purge sounds like a packrat after getting rid of items they’ll never use. Breathe, they’re gone forever.
I never know which is worse – digital clutter or physical clutter.
I am a pack rat, unfortunately, and I can definitively say that physical clutter is worse. It requires actual effort — with digital clutter, you can just make a folder and shove everything in there. That’s why the
good Lordpeople at Apple invented Spotlight so you can find everything again.In this case, it’s not the e-mails so much as the person who sent them and the five years of bad memories I have of working with her. Getting rid of the e-mails is a huge step toward moving on.
I empathize – let go of the energy associated with her.
[...] One of Chris’s posts a few days ago got me thinking on this topic.This is definitely one where I have to bite my tongue (or in this case, my fingers as I type). God knows I’ve had my share of bad bosses. I’ll try to be as vague as possible to protect myself and the guilty. If a member of the press asked my opinion of any of them, mentioning them by name, I would just smile and say something blandly positive.The question is, where do these people come from? Bad bosses, like good bosses, come from all sorts of places. They may have worked their way out of the rank and file, gone to management school, come into a job with a degree, come into their respective positions with a sparkling resume, or even received an election or an appointment to lord over you. Given that, the Peter Principle is in effect.Or, the Peter Principle doesn’t apply. They didn’t get plucked out of the crowd of laborers and they got into their job because they were highly qualified. They looked great on paper. However, they turned out to be psychopaths.”Do as I say, not as I do” is their maxim. They can be grossly incompetent, but heaven forbid you following their lead. One boss I had never read the reports I gave her, but misinformed the accountant about being caught up (when my report showed evidence to the contrary). Also, she seemed incapable of hiring someone properly qualified to do my job, as several previous people proved to be unsatisfactory. I wonder if this has changed at all, but I’m no longer there to lose sleep over it or her for that matter.Bad bosses are often verbally abusive. Another boss (years ago) was high strung and yelled at everyone. One time, I did not meet the dress code and I was upbraided not just once, but twice. He screamed at me about how unprofessional I was. Needless to say, when he got a heart attack, no one was sorry it happened. He came back, not changed by the experience and continued in his assholiness.An employee’s personal boundaries are often ignored by bad bosses. While this boss may have been the most highly educated than the other examples, he proved to be just as charming. He called me at home at 10:30pm to get on my case about how I did not do a task according to procedure. After having him rant and holler in my ear, I hung up. The phone rang again, but I didn’t answer it. When I left that job, I was inspired to get caller ID for my landline.*The lesson learned from of having my worklife punctuated by bad bosses? Definitely know what my rights are concerning them. Perhaps the most fitting way to deal with them is to walk away, leaving them mired in unfinished projects. However, that’s bad karma for the employee. Talk to their bosses, talk to HR, hold a tape recorder in front of them during meetings, or get an attorney. Maybe all of the above are necessary actions. I know I never have to put with it again.*Before I had a mobile phone. In an era of mobile phones, I wonder about the wisdom of giving your boss your number. Better to call them than to have them call you.Links:Boston Globe: Bullies, Wimps, and other Bad Bosses.Orange County Register: What Workers Really Want.5 Signs You Have A Bad Boss.Dealing With A Bad Boss: Strategies For Coping.NPR: Who’s The Worst Boss?ABC News: The Worst of Bad Bosses.Washington Post: Bad Boss Tales. [...]