Well, it’s Wednesday and there were 45,000 more people on campus than there were last week. The rest of this post isn’t actually related to that statement. I’m tired, and that’s why. I’ve been forgetting names right and left. I forgot what I was using as a greeting as I was answering the phone (you can see how “Hi, this is Chris” would be hard to remember). I accidentally switched my IM program into typing into an absolutely abhorrent color called “honeydew,” which isn’t readable against white and shouldn’t be an option for fonts anyway. I’m just saying, it’s been one of those days.

Natalie called me this morning. I suppose one of the advantages to living closer to campus than I do is that you can do things like watch morning television. Patsy Stone once said of morning television that, “If they could market it in pill form, Switzerland would be plunged into a recession.”

I don’t actually get that joke.

Anyway. Natalie had been watching one of the morning shows, and they were discussing Senator Larry Craig. Now, if you’ve been living under a rock, or are extremely dense (as I apparently am), this is the senator from Idaho who’s part of the Republican moral majority (or whatever they’re calling it these days) and is one of the advisors to Mitt Romney and pro-traditional-family-values, bla bla bla. And he got busted soliciting a hand job from a plain-clothes (male) police officer in the Minneapolis airport a few weeks ago.

So, whichever talk show this was clearly needs to lay off the Switzerland (nope, still don’t get it), because they were discussing the issue of whether or not Republicans are being held to a different moral standard than Democrats.

In case you’re still unclear on the subject, allow me to clarify. Republicans are not held to a different moral standard. However, when you’re a loudmouthed conservative in Congress who votes against abortion and has a virulent anti-gay platform and you get busted soliciting sex in a men’s restroom — and, as the arresting officer apparently observed, it’s clear this ain’t your first trip to the rodeo — yes, kids, we’re going to bust you wide open and call you out as the ridiculous hypocrite you clearly are. We’ll do it to a Democrat, too, it’s just that they seem to not have such a big campaign designed around hating people. (Oh, sorry. I mean, “protecting family values.” Sorry for the confusion.)

Now that that’s clear, allow me to draw you a map. Specifically, a map that will help you follow the wonderfully looping explanation on the state of American geographic education offered by Miss Teen South Carolina:

And that, folks, was Wednesday. And how was YOUR day?

Tags: khowaga-stands-for-truth-justice-and-the-american-way, larry-craig, miss-teen-south-carolina