… and so it came to pass that today was the monthly trip to the Big Box places. You know the ones: gallon of sun-dried tomatoes, sixty-four pack of tube sox, three gallon jug of olive oil, and cheese in twelve pound blocks — fine if the kids enjoy gouda.

The big boxes are fun from an anthropological perspective. Today, Costco, which we prefer over Sam’s because it’s got more interesting stuff and carries less Jesus stuff, was having a boat sale in the parking lot. Now, this is the same parking lot that fills up so fast that people start playing chicken over parking spaces (and occasionally, the winners get condemned to Hell by the losers), and they go and put a freaking boat sale in the middle of it.

While there were no cute-but-geeky clerks with superpowers (this being one of the main themes of the new television season), there were a bizarre number of sales on items we really didn’t need or want: sixteen pack of towels, thick plush cotton robes (nice — in climates that get cold enough to warrant wearing a robe more than one or two nights a year), and, interestingly enough, a sale on mango juice. We did need soap and deodorant – and now we won’t for at least another six months – and I picked up Costco’s wonderful little 300 count generic Claritin bottle that’s a prerequisite for me living in Austin nine months out of the year. Oh, right, and then there was the latest volume of Family Guy on DVD– oh, come off it: when has my taste ever even remotely appeared highbrow?

The book selection at Costco isn’t quite as over-the-top red-state as Sam’s. Fortunately, because Costco seemed to be weak in the soap department this go-round, we had to stop in at Sam’s, which is owned by the same people who own Walmart. You can always count on the book selection at Sam’s to be much more interesting than the book selection at Costco. Sam’s, for example, has a Jesus section in the book department. You know, there’s a zillion books with titles like “You Don’t Love Jesus as Much as I Do.” Oh, and this book by this guy who claims to have been in Hell and returned to warn everyone about it. That, and the latest book from Ann Coulter. For the record, the title of her new book is “If Democrats had More Brains, They’d be Republicans.” I don’t mean to bash la Coulter … OK, actually, I do … but that is so pedestrian for her. I mean, it’s like she’s not even trying anymore. Honestly.

Other than that, it’s a lazy Saturday, and I’m quite enjoying it. That, and the fun news from Shin that Chris Crocker’s getting sued for $1 million. Ha!!! I hate to laugh at the misfortune of others, but in this case, I’ll make an exception. (Yes, I’m going to Hell. No, that’s not why.)

Tags: Books, chris crocker, costco, Ray