… reading the virtual New York Times, waiting for my coffee to brew, in between loads of laundry. It’s Sunday morning after the time change, praise Bob. Tomorrow I might actually be able to see as I drive to work.

Haven’t posted much lately, as Ray has reminded me frequently. After the hustle and bustle of October with its nonstop travel, I’ve enjoyed being in the same place for more than a few days at once.

I’m also workin’ on my book for NaNoWriMo. I know you’re supposed to do it in regular stretches — someone figured out that 1,667 words a day equals 50,000 pages over the course of the month — but my schedule is a little too irregular on occasion to block out that sort of time. Plus, I was really inspired on day one and squeezed out over 5,000 words (track my progress here).

Anyway, you all need to help kick my butt to make sure I get through this. I’m subscribing to the philosophy of NaNoWriMo, which is that you’re supposed to write regardless of whether you’ve really got a plot, facts checked, bla bla bla. It’s all about getting over the hurdle of the 50,000 words, and once you’ve done it once or twice, then you can start worrying about the other stuff.

And so, I’ve chosen a zany story on which to write. Everything else I’ve ever tried to write has collapsed under the weight of its own seriousness, so I thought I’d change tactics and see how it goes — so far it’s gone pretty well. Plus, I’ve been reading a lot of Christopher Buckley lately (Thank You for Smoking, Little Green Men, Boomsday, currently working my way through No Way to Treat a First Lady.)

If you’re wondering what it’s all about, I’ve enclosed the description I wrote up as an “Excerpt” for the NaNoWriMo site. I can’t guarantee the finished product will bear any resemblance, but that’s OK — it’s not like it’s going to wind up published anyway.

Meet Mark DuPree.

Up until last week, Mark was a great infomercial actor. His on-screen alter-ego, “Biff,” was two steps above ‘dumb jock’ on the food chain, and happily bungled household procedures from cleaning glasses to opening jars and talking on the telephone while opening a can of soda, all of which could, of course, be made significantly easier and more manageable if “only there was an easier way!”

Now, he’s been slapped with a $10 million lawsuit after accidentally slicing off the finger of Lawren Hutchinson, the beloved model mother from the 1960′s sitcom Life at the Buchanan’s during an infomercial shoot for the Juicinator 2000™. His friends, who form the majority of the West Hollywood chapter of the Lawren Hutchinson Appreciation Society, refuse to speak to him because he has damaged their beloved icon. His mother refuses to speak to him because in the coverage of the incident, broadcast nonstop on cable news, Lawren Hutchinson has made several dirty accusations about Mark, nearly all of which are untrue.

Mark must seek help in the form of Malik Rabinowitz, Los Angeles’s top (and possibly only) Jewish African-American defense attorney. You remember Malik. He’s the one that defended that pop starlet who accidentally gave her three year old toddler a controlled substance and got her off on a technicality? (The charges from the DA’s office said LSD, when everyone knows the toddler drank poppers. Duh!)

Malik comes with his own baggage. The Lavender Jihad, a local Gay Iranian Shi’ite Extremist Organization, is planning to assassinate him — assuming they can figure out a form of suicide terrorism that will leave their beautiful corpses intact. Also, they might need Malik to defend him someday, so they’ve got their targets fixed on some of his new clients … like Mark DuPree.

And his mother still won’t return his phone calls …

Anyway. I am relying on you, the millions of readers who keep me going, to push me to finish this thing, OK? Help a sister out …

Tags: Books, coffee, Home, sundays, writing