No, it’s not another funeral post. I have, however, held off for posting for a few days — I’ve been waiting for inspiration on a topic that didn’t strike me as completely inappropriate considering the number of people who’ve arrived here looking for BJ’s obituary.

I commented in my therapy session yesterday that I’ve been in a pretty decent mood lately. I’ve been productive and energetic at work, and the doom and gloom of the past few months seems to have lifted. I won’t go into the details here, as there are some things that don’t need to be out in public, but the past few months have been very difficult, both personally and professionally. I don’t want to jinx it by saying, “Phew! It’s over!” so instead I’ll say, “Phew! I seem to be moving past it!”

I’m really happy that I’m finally energized at work again. I’ve been in the doldrums for a while, feeling completely uninspired and listless. Natalie and I have finally come to terms with the fact that our project that’s been on life support just needs to be cryofrozen and revived after the summer. Maybe next year will look better — either way, this is a shit-tacular time to be trying to raise money for educator training. Perhaps if we were, say, applying to the Dublin municipal council for a grant of €350,000 for faerie lights to hang all over the place we’d have better luck. Who knows?

I’ve been busy putting together little projects for myself: an art exhibition here (we only need $18,000 for that one, and for some bizarre reason when you’re doing stuff with art it’s rather easy to raise money), and a program in Turkey there.

Yes, it looks like I might get myself to Turkey this summer, which raises the question: should I take some extra time afterwards to jet down to Cairo? I haven’t been in three years. I need my fix. I need to spend a day getting lost in the old city, eat my fill of kushari, and purchase my weight in paper products at the Diwan bookstore. Oh, I guess I could stop by and see Mike and Cindy, too. If there’s time between the kushari and the mosque hopping. With me that’s a big if.

The other question, of course, is whether or not I should instead go to Greece for the very long overdue visit to my extended family, whom I haven’t seen since 1996. Even as I’m thinking about what to type next I’m already coming up with reasons not to do it: by July, the weather in Cairo is nicer than it is in Athens; I have more personal freedom in Egypt on my own than I do under the watchful eye of my second and third cousins in Greece; etc.

I wonder if this could all be related to the fact that, unlike in 1996, I actually speak passable Greek now (with a decidedly Cypriot accent), and am trying to avoid the questions that can now be put to me directly rather than through my cousin Nick’s poor English (yes, I have several cousins named Nick … including a female cousin, Nicoletta. We’re Greek. Stereotypes exist for a reason.). Questions such as: “When are you getting married?” (and the numerous permutations thereof that every gay boy dreads when they know that coming out of the closet isn’t really an option) and “How come you went to Cyprus for two weeks and Turkey for a month and Egypt four times in the past decade and haven’t called once?”

Gee, does anyone else sense a preference for Egypt? Ugh.

Anyway. I guess where I’m going is that this week I’m actually feeling pretty upbeat and I know enough to enjoy it for once. Maybe it’ll catch on. I’m sending out the feelin’ good vibes to my cyberpals who need it, like Shin and Matt. And for once without hokey Christmas puns! Go me!

And maybe my new laptop will be waiting for me when I get home . Hee.

Tags: art, athens, bla, blog, blogs, Books, cairo, cat, christmas, cypriot, Cyprus, egypt, english, family, fes, freedom, fun, gay, greece, greek, Home, ice, life, lost, me, men, money, mosque, moving, Natalie, questions, rain, stuff, summer, tea, turkey, weather, Will, work