So, I walked into a door this morning.

That’s pretty much the end of the story right there.  Have a nice one, folks!

Seriously, though.  One of the (admittedly very) few concessions that the university has made toward the Differently Abled is that we’ve installed these motorized automated doors everywhere.  Most of the time, they open just like normal doors–kinda–and if you want them to open automatically, you have to push a square button located at chair height.  One could argue that this doesn’t make them automatic, but that’s not the point of this particular story.

For reasons I’ve never been able to fathom, the door in the back of the student union, which is a convenient pass-through on days like today (cold and rainy), is truly automatic (although it has a button anyway).  When you get close, it opens.  Sometimes, especially first thing in the morning, it seems to be permanently open.

This morning, I was distracted as I was walking toward the door–OK, I was checking the list outside of the student theater to see if they’re showing Slumdog Millionaire this semester.  Happy now?  The door had been open for a long time and I had just sort of assumed that it was in perma-open mode.

It wasn’t.

In full stride, I walked right into the edge of the door as it was automatically closing.  Ker-whap! I was so stunned that I forgot to swear.  Bev managed to verify that I still appeared to be in one piece and that there was no blood anywhere.

Fortunately, the ever so helpful man behind us, the one that we see EVERY FLÄRKING MORNING was kind enough to point out that, “You know, they’re automatic.”  I was still stunned enough not to call him a fucktard, as in:”Yes, you fucktard, I know they’re automatic.  I walk through here every morning, which you should know because that I’ve seen you just about every morning since I started parking in that garage in 2004.  I just wasn’t paying attention.”

It’s probably a good thing.  I’m not sure that any of that would have improved the situation at all, or made me look like less of a moron.

So, when I got to my office, I popped four ibuprofen (I know how much you’re supposed to take for physical pain, thanks — don’t start accusing me of freebasing).  I might have had breakfast first, though, because … well … pink, fuzzy clouds.  And Björk suddenly makes so much more sense to me now …

Hopefully your morning has been a little less … clumsy.

Tags: art, cat, dog, heat, ice, me, rain, university