There was another flier in my inbox at work today. They’ve been popping up frequently of late, these things. And by frequently, I mean “multiple times daily.” That’s how Professor N does things. He only has good ideas. If you fail to recognize the brilliance of one of his ideas, it’s because you’re a moron. That’s the only suitable explanation.
Which is, of course, why I’m eagerly waiting to hear how many nones of people show up in the 250 seat auditorium this weekend to hear lecture after lecture about a 10th century poet most people have never heard of. Hell, I couldn’t tell you the first thing about him (admittedly, he wrote in a language I’ve never studied), but Professor N seems to think that our medieval poet is All That and a Bag of Potato Chips.
So, when I got the program in my inbox this afternoon — as distinct from the e-mail announcement that I got this morning, the flier with the list of all speakers and their speaking titles that was in my box yesterday, and the piecemeal e-mails he’s been sending for the past three weeks — my reaction was to look at it very briefly and then hand it to someone else and say, “Here. A gift for you.”
On one of my post-meeting voyages to the front office for something or another, Professor L waved me into her office.
“Did you see the program?” she asked.
“Yeah. I didn’t look too hard, though, because he’s been sending me zillions of messages about it–”
“Here,” she said handing it to me. “Look at the headings.”
I looked at the folded program, knowing that Professor L wanted me to see something in particular.
Program.
Speakers.
Film.
Suggestive Reading.
I re-read the last entry. “Suggestive … reading,” I read aloud, and then laughed. “Wow. He must have been way more lascivious a poet than I realized!”
Professor L covered her mouth to hide a giggle and said, “I know I should be good and e-mail him to let him know, but … ”
Well, that’s just it. Besides, even if she does, Professor N will claim that’s what he meant in the first place.
And that, my children, is why the Good Lord invented spell check and grammar check.
Tags: art, children, fes, grammar, ice, me, men, SHE, weekend, Will, work
