Amazon.com Widgets
I’m not mad.  Really.

About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I live in Austin, Texas, with my partner, Ray, and our child dog, Mocha. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘airports’



So, three gueros walk into a coqui joint …

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

We land in San Juan.  Uneventful, except for the clear-air turbulent jump the plane does on the way down.  I can almost make out Morro Castle looming over the entrance to the harbor as we touch down.

I won’t lie – we’re all tired.  The sun went down about halfway through the 2 hour flight from Fort Lauderdale and, from that moment on, we were all looking at our watches.  “Are we there yet?”

The baggage claim at the airport is big and empty and there’s lots of room for rental car desks … there just aren’t any.  We have to take a shuttle a couple of miles to the rental car agency, which is on the frontage road (“Marginal” in the local parlance) of the freeway out of town.  As the shuttle pulled away from the terminal, “Inmortal,” the latest single from La Oreja de Van Gogh, my latest Europop/rock guilty pleasure, started blaring on the radio.  Yay.

It’s Natalie’s birthday today.  I knew she wasn’t happy that she had to spend her birthday in airports, so I stopped off to get a nice slice of cake before we went to the airport, and on the flight from Austin to Fort Lauderdale, we had the flight attendants serve it to her, and the purser had the entire plane sing.  (Never mind the incident where Ray went up front to ask them to do it and they reacted … well, he was moving kind of quickly and was holding my briefcase.  Thank god there were no air marshals on board).

Her birthday also got us a 10% discount on the rental car.

The guy at the rental car place was plenty chatty, which made up for the “You’re in Latin America now” speed of service.  We asked about dinner — we’re all in our traveling clothes, and it’s late.  We were all somewhat of the opinion that we needed to stop on the way to the hotel because once we got to the hotel … we weren’t likely to leave again.  (It wasn’t the wrong assumption).

“You should go into Old San Juan,” he says.  We all look at each other.  Old San Juan is fancier than we’re wanting to be tonight.  “There’s this barbecue place down the street.  The food is good.”

The barbecue place–Bebo’s–is across the street from McDonald’s.  All the McDonald’s employees are eating there.  It’s the sort of place where there’s no menu, no air conditioning, and … well, it’s a good thing that Puerto Rico isn’t a state because the health inspection ….

After a bunch of locals rattle off their orders with no fuss or muss, the lady behind the counter turns to us.  “Is there a menu?” we ask in our worst Spanish.  She half rolls her eyes and gestures at the trays of roasting meat.

We wind up with a plate of roast pork (scrumptious), a plate of roast chicken that could melt in your mouth (I believe my reaction was, “Oh … my … god … “), two grilled plantains, and a plate of french fries.  We are the only white people in the joint.  No one gives us a second glance.  It’s likely the cheapest meal we’ll have here.  And maybe it was the tired, and maybe it was definitely the fact that it was our first meal on the island, but it was goood.

And now we’re at the hotel.  And it turns out that you can get free internet at a 5-star hotel.  Who knew?

I can’t wait to see what this place looks like in the daylight.

Morbid Newshound

Tuesday, June 2nd, 2009

For the past two days, I’ve been completely spellbound by the unfolding mystery of what happened to Air France 447.

There’s something of the locked-room mystery about the tale: passengers board a flight on a late autumn evening in Rio de Janeiro.  Among their numbers are the presidents of major corporations, doctors, lawyers, cabinet ministers, and, for a dash of complete exoticism, a handsome young prince, fourth in line to the Brazilian throne (never mind that the monarchy was abolished in the 1890s). The plane takes off, bound for Paris.  Dinner is served, the lights are dimmed.  Everything is routine.

Four hours into the flight, the plane passes over the northeastern coast of Brazil, heading for international waters.  The pilots report to Brazilian air traffic control that they’re passing out of their jurisdiction, and, as is usual when passing into an area that’s not covered by radar, they report the time that they expect to cross in to Senegalese airspace.  Some time later, the pilot reports thunderstorms and severe turbulence.  Then … nothing.  The plane never arrives in Senegalese airspace.  Calls fly back and forth between Recife and Dakar — no one can see the plane.  It never shows up on radar screens in Casablanca or Tolouse.  With the exception of a few automated messages received on a maintenance computer in Paris indicating that something has gone horribly, terribly wrong, the plane has, quite literally, disappeared.

There’s a compelling story in here, even if we try to fictionalize it.  But it’s not fiction, it really happened.  And, like lots of people everywhere, I want to know more.  Am I morbid?  Why?

There is, of course, the fear factor.  I’ve spent a good deal of time on airplanes, including ones that cross the ocean.  In less than a month, I’ll be flying transatlantic again–I’ve lost count, but I think this trip will be number 15 or 16.  I want to know what happened to AF 447 because I want some sort of reassurance that it’s not likely to happen on any flight I’m planning to take in the near future.

And then there’s the morbid part: what would it have been like to be on that plane?  *shivers*

For the past two days, I’ve spent a bit of time regularly checking updates as reported by the foreign media — back and forth between the Brazilian papers Folha do Sao Paolo and O Globo, the French newspaper Le Monde, and the message boards on Airliners.Net where polyglots helpfully translate articles in languages I can’t read.  (As a Spanish speaker, I find Portuguese easier to read than French … although clicking on the video clips that Globo has posted turned out to be pointless because, although I may be able to read Portuguese, I can’t understand the spoken language at all).

I’m also learning things about what the American press considers worthwhile.  One of the reasons why I had to break out the Spanish-Portuguese dictionary is that the English language media is doing a pretty bad job at updating the story regularly.  The Brazilian press reports every latest development, whereas BBC is running several hours behind, and CNN?  Fuggedaboutit.  Granted, it wasn’t a flight that came from the US, and there were other important goings on in the world yesterday (I refer, of course, to the Bruno/Eminem teabagging incident), but I still couldn’t help being a little snarky when I noticed that CNN became far more interested once it was known that two American citizens were on board.

Today, the world has caught up.  And the mystery is starting to clear, at least a little: although the aircraft would have run out of fuel a couple of hours after it missed its scheduled arrival time in Paris yesterday, it wasn’t until Brazil’s Minister of Defense announced that wreckage found in the Atlantic 700 miles northeast of Recife has been positively identified as belonging to Air France 447 that the media began using the word “crash.”

It’s a stunning tragedy — I feel a knot in my stomach whenever I see the images of relatives and friends arriving at the airports in Rio and Paris, trying to get more information.  They want what we all want: we want to know what happened. We want to find out it was quick.  We want to find out they didn’t know it was coming.  And we’re all pretty sure we’re wrong.

And I just can’t stop watching.

Random RoundUp

Wednesday, August 6th, 2008

It’s been so long since I’ve done one of these.  Let’s get right into it, shall we?

A coup in the north African country of Mauritania has effectively managed to bring democracy in the Arab world to an end. President Sidi Ould Cheikh Abdallahi, who was elected in free and fair elections two years ago, was arguably the only democratically elected leader in the entire Arab world, of which Mauritania was only considered part so that it could be said that there was at least one Arab democracy.  Now that he’s been overthrown, it’s likely that honor will go back to  … well, no one.

So much for democracy being on the march in the Middle East.  It’s gone back to goose-stepping.

A three-year-old girl was found wandering the duty free shop at Tel Aviv’s Ben Gurion International Airport on Monday after her parents boarded their flight to Paris with her four siblings, but apparently forgot her. While one would think that the empty seat would have been a tip-off, apparently the parents were so distracted/clueless that they didn’t realize that they’d forgotten their daughter until the pilot informed them after take-off.

Similarly, El Al Israel Airlines is apparently trying to determine how it was that the family of six managed to board the plane while handing over seven boarding passes without the gate agent noticing that someone was missing, either.

The good news is that the daughter probably got all the Toblerone she could stomach and will now have the ultimate guilt trip to lay on her Orthodox Jewish parents: “You left me in an airport when I was three and flew to France without me.”  It’s got to be worth at least a car.

A California woman sold her house to finance the cloning of her late dog, which has successfully resulted in the birth of five puppies, all genetic clones of the original. This would be unremarkable if not for this little tidbit: the dog’s name was Booger.

Seriously.  If you were going to go through all that trouble, wouldn’t you make up a more dignified sounding name?  I mean, if I had the wherewithall to clone my dog when she passes, I’d consider it.  I’d also consider renaming her if her name was, say, Poopy.  I’m just saying.

“I miss my dog!  He’s named for dried snot!”

Archaeologists are doing DNA tests on two mummified fetuses found in King Tut’s tomb to determine if they were his offspring.  As far as I know, no paternity suit against Tut has been filed on behalf of his wife, Ankhesenamun, for three thousand years worth of child support, raising the question: and this is important because … ?  Also, don’t the inscriptions on their coffins tell us who they are?  I mean, the ancient Egyptians could read and write.  They’re kind of known for it, actually.

Calvin Klein weighs in: it is apparently now necessary for CK underwear models to actually be wearing CK underwear in their ad campaigns.  The below photo of model Garrett Neff was rejected as being too hot, too racy, and … well, he’s technically not actually wearing the underwear, he’s just holding it in place.

I think this is an issue that requires further study. :mrgreen:

Next time: we’ll raise the following question for debate: Is John McCain smarter than Paris Hilton?  Are either of them smarter than a fifth grader?

Planin’ (Trainin’ and Automobilin’) to Spain

Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

JFK’s new state-of-the art wireless communication device:

A new day over Portugal:

Madrid’s Puerta Atocha station:

More later, including the results of the packing experiment…

[umap id="2691" size="m" alignment="center"]

The American Airlines Blues

Thursday, April 12th, 2007

I have arrived in Albuquerque, and so far the fun isn’t being had — although so far I’ve only managed to get from the airport to my hotel room.

I don’t know why I find flying so exhausting. Maybe it’s the being pressurized and depressurized. Maybe it’s the irritation of standing in interminable lines that never seem to move when you want them to and move speedily when you’re trying to find your boarding pass or zip up your jacket or refasten the belt that set off the security screener. Maybe it’s the fact that I had to make a connection for a trip to the next state over. Maybe.

I was also out late last night. My friends M & M (she’s a teacher and I don’t want her students to Google this) came into town yesterday, and I haven’t seen them since I finished grad school. We always had such a blast together, and I really wished that they had been here after I met Ray because I always thought that we’d have fun doing couple-y stuff. They were always looking for a couple to hang out with, and were always asking me, “Aren’t you dating anyone yet? Hurry up — all of the couples we know are too weird to hang out with!” Then when I finally did meet someone, they had moved away a month earlier.

That’s a long diatribe. We went to The Clay Pit, which was new when we were all in school — now it’s kind of ‘been there, done that’ as the owner has opened a branch in Dallas and the service at the original in Austin has waned a bit. But it was nice to be back at an old haunt with old friends.

Afterwards, and with very little cohercion, I convinced them to go to a wine bar downtown called Corks & Co, which I’ve been wanting to go into forever. It’s a cute little place in one of the limestone places downtown (in New York they’re brownstones, in Austin they’re limestones), and the staff was thrilled to have four people walk in at ten thirty on a Wednesday night. They specialize in flights — I guess this is the new trendy thing? — where you get three small glasses of complimentary wines (that would be ‘wines that are complimentary to one another,’ not ‘wines that are free’) instead of one largish glass of wine. The cost is still exorbitant, but you get the sense that you’re getting more for your money. The funny thing was that each of us got a different flight, and each of us liked the second selection best.

Ray and I dropped M & M off at their hotel around midnight and headed home. I woke up early … ish this morning, but I was still running around hectic trying to get ready to leave for the airport in a timely manner. It didn’t help that the line for American Airlines checkin was backed out the door of the terminal, nor that security was being extra annoying. Somehow, even with my name on the TSA hit list, I still managed to make it through OK. Natalie got the raw end of the deal — the line she was in moved so slowly that by the time she got to the counter, they wouldn’t let her check in her suitcase there — they wanted her to do it at the gate. Since it was carry on size, she just wound up bringing it on board. And getting it through security involved throwing out a $30 bottle of hair …something, I never did catch what exactly as she kept referring to it as “hair product” … as well as her contact lens solution. She was the last person on the plane in Austin.

I was all set to write a poem titled “An Ode to Dallas/Fort Worth Airport” in which I ranted on about how much I hate it and how it was clearly the inspiration for Dante’s vision of hell as a series of rings (never mind that he was dead many centuries before there was a Dallas, a Fort Worth, or air travel — maybe he was psychic), but they’ve done work on the place and it wasn’t an awful experience. That’s not to say it was great, but what airport is?

And on to Albuquerque, where we arrived in the middle of a rainstorm (bouncy bouncy goes the plane) and find ourselves at a conference hotel that’s easy to find — I should have no problem getting back here after I pick up Ray on Saturday — but is near absolutely nothing. No restaurants, no grocery stores, no pharmacies … nothing. We’re supposed to have dinner at the conference tomorrow night, so this should be the only night we have to fend for ourselves, and if worse comes to worse, the hotel restaurant doesn’t look too bad. We’ll see…

 

Blog Theme by LJP & SLR Lounge