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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I live in Austin, Texas, with my partner, Ray, and our child dog, Mocha. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘Bible’



12 of 12: January 2010

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Howdy, 12 of 12ers!  Happy New Year!  I hope your new year is off to a good start.

12 of 12 is Chad’s idea – all hail Chad.  He claims this is the last year, but maybe if we collectively whine loud enough …

If you’re really into all out geekiness, check out my 365 photo project that I started on January 1!

Anyway …

8:53 am: Kahve Içmek Istiyorum

January2010--1

I’m a late riser today—I’m driving out to San Angelo, Texas, in the afternoon and see no pressing (no pun intended) need to go into the office first thing.  Ray is home, too, as he got laid off last week (more on that if you’re curious).  We’re doing fine – he’s signed up for extra classes this semester, and we’ve got enough to tide us over for a while.  It’s just, y’know, a completely sucky situation.

9:28 am: Today’s Gratuitous Picture of Mocha

January2010--2

I know better than to try to run a set of 12 without one :)

9:50 am: Packing

January2010--3

These are the clothes that have been ordained for tomorrow …

11:40 am: Lunch

January2010--4

It’s a buffalo chicken panini from a place that does flatbreads.  Makes a nice break from what we have in the pantry.

12:55 pm: My Nemesis

January2010--5

This is Chloe.  Chloe is Natalie’s cat.  Chloe has significant disdain for everyone who is not Natalie, and is generally homicidal toward anyone who is not Natalie and also male.  Chloe hates me, and has tried on more than one occasion to kill me.  (It probably has something to do with the fact that Chloe usually sees me when I’m coming to pick Natalie up for a business trip, meaning that I’m the reason that Chloe will be alone for a while.)  If you are a cat person and making, “Oooh, lookattheprettykitty” noises, please know that Chloe will eat you alive if given the chance.

This is her innocent look, which is supposed to lull you into coming close enough for her to pounce.  Don’t let her fool you.

2:45 pm: Pontotoc

January2010--6

Between Llano (that’s “lan-o” – never mind how it should be pronounced) and Brady on the way to San Angelo is this little ghost-town-in-the-making (seriously: three quarters of the buildings are either derelict or boarded up) called Pontotoc.  It has this little old stone farmhouse that has no roof walls or floor, but it’s always intrigued me, so I stopped to take photos.

January2010--7

This is the view from Pontotoc.

5:12 pm: Hotel Sweet Hotel

January2010--8

Never mind that I had to sit in the lobby while they cleaned my room before I could check in … at 4:30 pm.

5:40 pm: You know you’re in the Bible belt when …

January2010--9

Is it me, or is there something contradictory about it being “Bible” automotive and having computer diagnostics?  Either you’re receiving Divine guidance or you’re not, folks…

5:50 pm: Wine

January2010--10

Happily funding the local economy at San Angelo’s only wine bar.

6:56 pm: Nothing says Mexican food like a smoking Buddha.

January2010--11

… kinda speaks for itself.

7:06 pm: Dinner

January2010--12

Decor aside, the food at Armandita’s cafe – which is the sort of place you’d probably drive right by without blinking – is good.  How do I know this?  Most of the clientele spoke Spanish.  This is always a good sign for a Mexican restaurant.  Oh, and the handwritten note from Bobby Flay extolling the virtues of the meal he had there helps too (although it does make me wonder what the heck Bobby Flay was doing in San Angelo, Texas.)

… and now I’m in my hotel room editing photos. How was YOUR 12th?

Summer’s End

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Summer officially ends today here on this esteemed campus of higher learning.  Never mind that today will likely be the 66th consecutive day of 100+ degree temperatures, and that we’re still in a massive drought.  Summer’s over when classes start.

Most years, it seems that I always have something to say about the massive influx of students.  There is something disarming about the arrival of 40,000 students on campus all at once (and believe you me, they all showed up over the weekend).  Our summer school numbers are pretty low here, something I’ve never quite understood since it’s an easy way to relieve that crowding over the rest of the year, but what do I know?

The Bible pushers weren’t out yet this morning when I came in.  You may recall them from a post several years ago in which I lamented my inability to throw out holy scripture that I didn’t want.  I’m sure I’ll see them this afternoon, unless their precious saved souls can’t quite deal with the heat.  That’d be funny.

When I got to my department this morning, I was surprised to find new fliers up everywhere.

We have this professor–I won’t name him because he actually googles himself on a daily basis (and given his narcissism, there’s at least three or four entendres at work in that statement)–who has declared himself the only expert in the bizarre dialect of a language that he teaches.  He’s declared his office the World Headquarters of studies in this particular language.

So, this morning, there are fliers up all over the place.  He’s running some bizarre contest, and god alone knows what the prize will be.  A copy of his most recent biography, I suppose.  (Seriously: he publishes these random books consisting of his journals through one of those “publish it yourself” vanity presses, like we all need to know what his opinion of the canapes at a restaurant that no longer exists is … )

I saw another professor on my way out yesterday.  We joke around the office that he taught Hebrew to Moses — seriously, the guy is almost 90 and still teaching.  I’ve thought to myself that I suppose that I’d like to be that active at his age.  (The other running joke is that he’s still teaching because he’s afraid that if he retires he’ll discover that, after all these years, he really doesn’t like his wife.)  We have come in on Monday mornings and noticed on the switchboard phone that the receiver in his office is off the hook and wondered to ourselves if he failed to hang up properly again, or if this is going to be the time that we key into his office and find him still in there …

He’s also massively grumpy at times, when it comes to things like only four students registered for his class and it’s going to be cancelled due to low enrollment.  This was yesterday’s drama, and he was complaining about it to everyone.  The problem there is that the person he needed to complain to wasn’t in the office, so the rest of it had to hear about it at some length.  He doesn’t talk very loudly or quickly, you see.

The kicker to all of the pre-semester faculty drama is that I had a meeting yesterday that included the faculty member who sent a particularly nasty message at the end of my trip to Cairo.  She was very nice and sweet and pretended like nothing ever happened.  I suppose that’s one way to deal with it, but … for god’s sake, if you’re going to be that bitchy, own it!  Don’t brush it under the rug.  Seriously, does no one understand the finer points of bitchcraft?

At any rate.  I need to go see how we’re doing on the office pool: the first day of classes we always have a pool to guess what time the first panicked student will arrive freaking out because he/she couldn’t get into the class he/she wanted.  Never mind that registration is over and that we’ve been here all summer long — there’s always a handful of them.  I picked 8:45.

I hope your summer is ending smoothly :)

Rest and Relaxation

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

My wanderings around the state have come to an end, and not a moment too soon.  I do enjoy the traveling, but there comes a point when you’re in yet another hotel chain that looks like any other hotel chain (LaQuinta?  Fairfield Inn?  Hampton Inn?  Is there a difference?) when you realize that you simply can’t face one more morning with Faux News blaring in the background over another styrofoam plate and plastic fork breakfast featuring KAW-FEE brand coffee bean product and individually wrapped English Muffins (which are neither English nor muffins.  Discuss).

There is the occasional quirkiness to be had.  Despite the fact that San Angelo–which only two years ago was proudly putting in all of its tourist literature that it had the highest murder rate west of the Mississippi between 1850 and 1870–is now trying to bill itself as the culture capitol of the Panhandle Plains (a title that is disputed by … well, no one), the town is relatively uninteresting.  A tour around town on a Sunday evening revealed a frightening number of businesses with Christian names (such as: Bible Automotive.  I’m not kidding.) and a dearth of business actually open to the public.  After eating Mexican food from a restaurant that clearly used to be a service station (the food wasn’t bad — Bobby Flay had apparently been there at one point), Natalie and I wound up at Baskin Robbins … along with half the town because, as I may have mentioned, there was nothing else open at 7 pm on a Sunday.

Then there was the unexplained psychedelic van (above) that I stopped to photograph on the way out of town.  And this place:

This place practices false advertising: there are no man’s for sale in the man’s shop.

My most recent trip ended a scant three hours ago with a flourish and flutter (literally: the woman sitting next to me apparently cramming for a medical school exam who had refused four requests to put away her book and notes for landing seemed surprised when it all flew up the aisle upon touchdown.  That’ll learn her).

We were over in El Paso, the one place in the state that, it is regularly agreed upon, we must fly to.  I’ve heard rumors that you can drive it in under eight hours now, with the speed limit on I-10 through west Texas now legally at 80 miles per hour, but I’m more happy to reduce it to an hour and twenty minutes on Southwest Airlines.

I have always liked going to El Paso — in fact, I’ve enjoyed all of our trips to the border area, both in West Texas and down in the Rio Grande Valley (for the uninitiated among you, even though technically El Paso is on the Rio Grande, the term “Rio Grande Valley” seems to only apply to the part between Laredo and Brownsville, on the Gulf of Mexico).  We usually get groups that are really energetic and happy to learn, and this was the case with our session yesterday.  One of the guys was so enthusiastic that he engaged me in conversation in the men’s room.  I am not a particular fan of the conversation-while-I-pee.  If you see me in the men’s room, please don’t strike up a conversation until I’m at the sink, OK?

It’s also saying something about the sort of people that Natalie and I are that we kept coming back to the five or so really negative evaluations we collected at the end of the day.  There were 68 people in the room–our largest audience ever.  The vibe was overwhelmingly positive, but we still kept coming back to those negative ones.  I think somehow we just need to validate that the criticism isn’t valid–we’ve gotten unenthusiastic comments before, but this time the people who didn’t like us really didn’t like us, and they weren’t shy about expressing it.

At the end of the day, though, this last trip was a good note to end the late summer training sessions on.  We had a new audience, and they seemed to be happy with what we were doing.  The people who invited us were effervescent.  And then it was off to have a nice drink in the historic Dome Bar in the lobby of our hotel, the historic Hotel Paso del Norte.

And now … I’m home.  Next up is a trip to a conference in San Juan, Puerto Rico toward the end of September.  Technically it’s work.  I just wonder if I can put sunscreen on my expense account :D

Sweet Anonymity

Friday, August 7th, 2009

There are times when I wonder if Web 2.0 is taking us to a level of public exposure previously only known to politicians, porn stars, and Madonna.  Thanks to the wonder of Facebook (and, I suppose, Twitter, which I haven’t joined because I’m not vain enough to think anyone is interesting in knowing if I’m standing in line at the grocery store), we now have 24 hour access to deep thoughts.

The question of whether the thoughts are actually deep and may be better left unexpressed is one that I think that some ought to ask themselves (although, in full disclosure, I certainly didn’t ask myself that before I sat down to write this here post).  There are, among my acquaintances, many people who comment on every single thing that their Facebook “friends” do all day long.  Some comments are amusing, others are … well, clearly not as amusing as their authors think they are.

The ubiquity of Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social networking means that it’s now possible to create an entire online persona that you can drag with you hither and yon.  Your Yahoo! account can be linked to your Flickr, which is now linked to Twitter, and Google now knows more about you than the federal government, and all of them can be linked to Facebook.  Facebook, if you’re not careful, can also track what you buy on Amazon and rent from Blockbuster or Netflix.  This means that if you rate a movie that you rented on Blockbuster, the netsavvier among us can find within a frighteningly short amount of time those embarrassing photos that your coworker took at the office Christmas party of you pretending to be Smiling Bob from the “natural enhancement” commercials.

My friend Michael has pointed out on occasion that there are clearly people with nothing to do all day who lurk about on the InterWebz and leave bizarre comments on any public forum that invites comment.  Austin is a fairly liberal town.  You wouldn’t know this by reading the online edition of our alleged “newspaper” [sic], the Austin American-Statesman (which, on a side note, was up for sale for 18 months and has been taken off the market because no one wanted to buy it).

The Statesman did this weird thing where it invited readers to form their own blogs and comment on the news — it’s to the point where I can’t actually read the online edition anymore.  Global warming is a man-made myth.  The president was born on Mars (funny, I was pretty sure that was a reference to Lady Gaga).  And any time an article pops up about gay … well, gay anything, the Bible thumpers turn up and start screaming about Satan (see: Barack Obama).  Someone actually told Michael to go back where he came from, Commie.

It’s enough to make you want to pull out your old government book and read aloud the definition of “socialism.”  Kids, do you want to know some countries that are socialist?  Norway, Denmark, and Sweden.

I’m guessing this is all because the sane people have day jobs and don’t have time to sit around and write ultra right wing conspiracy shit all over the Internet, let alone create a fake Kenyan birth certificate for the president … and can I just ask — what, exactly, is the birther movement trying to do?  If you don’t like Obama, fine (I’ll admit, the enchantment has worn off for me, too) but for gawd’s sake, why is it necessary to be coming up with all of these ridiculous stories about how he’s not really American?  Are we really supposed to believe that his parents faked his birth certificate in 1961 because they knew that he was going to run for president 48 years later?  Because if they did, I’d like their phone number — I want to run some stock options by them and see which ones they like.

I know, I know: this is America, and we have freedom of speech.  However, just because we have freedom of speech doesn’t mean we should always feel the need to use it.  Sometimes the best thing to do is realize that you don’t have anything important to say … and then not say it.

Like this:

Readin’, Ritin’ and Revivin’

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

There are some times that I am less OK living in Texas than others.  The passage of the state’s second Defense of Marriage Act was one of them.  I fear we’re coming up on another, and I feel like I should be able to do something about it, but I don’t know what.

It’s come to the attention of just about everyone that the State Board of Education has been taken over by a bunch of radical loonies.  These are the sorts of conservatives who make conservatives uncomfortable, and somehow they managed to take over the body that’s charged with revising and implementing educational standards at the K-12 level.  (Thank Bob it’s only K-12.)

This would be the same board chaired by a dentist (!) from College Station who came under fire shortly before the board’s final vote on revised science standards for endorsing a book that referred to supporters of evolution as “monsters,” “atheists,” and “morons.” I want to make it clear that the board currently leans in the direction that believes that if you ain’t their kind of Christian, you’re not a Christian at all.  (The fact that this is exactly the kind of logic that Osama bin Laden and his ilk use is the kind of irony that isn’t lost on me, but would be shot down as “totally different” were it brought to their attention.)

Earlier this year, a call went out for people to review the social studies standards.  As an historian who works with K-12 educators a lot in my line of work, I put my name in.  I didn’t get selected, and it didn’t take long enough to realize why.  I didn’t know that the SBOE member who represents my district had sent out an e-mail claiming that Obama was a terrorist sympathizer, and that an attack by said terrorists would take place in the first six months of his administration, followed by the implementation of martial law.  (Perhaps we should secede just in case?)

Clearly my passioned e-mail describing my committment to global competencies was a bad idea.

I know several people who did get appointed to the committees (two of them went with me to Egypt in 2005).  One of them, a University professor at a rival institution, was appointed to the economics review committee and managed to cause a horrific furor when he had the audacity to suggest that the term “free enterprise system” be replaced with “capitalism” in the standards.  “Capitalism,” after all, is what it’s called in every college textbook, and he thought that it would be appropriate for K-12 students to use the same terminology that they would use in college.  Why call the same thing two different names?

To say that this was received very badly would be an understatement.  As I was told later, when one of the SBOE members saw this proposed change, she stood up and screamed, “What kind of anti-American sonofabitch did this?  You should be ashamed!  I swear, whoever you are, if you were one of my appointments, you can consider yourself fired!”  (note: committee members are unpaid – it’s all volunteer work.)

My other friend wrote me to say that, while her committee was congenial, others were concerned that “too much attention” was being paid to the rest of the world at the expense of “our” history. Another friend told of how someone was appointed to her review committee–which was to oversee one of the years of world studies–whose sole purpose was to state over and over that he had moral objections to students studying other cultures.

For the record, Texas schoolchildren have two years of American history (grades 8 and 11), one year of government (grade 12), one full year of Texas history (grade 7), world cultures (6), world history (10), and world geography (9).  More than one board member has stated the desire to replace either the 9th or 10th grade course with a third year of American history, apparently being unaware that the 12th grade government course is entirely American history content.

It gets better.

After the first round of review committee meetings, the board cancelled the second round, apparently afraid that further anti-Americanism might ensue, so they’ve decided to appont an “expert panel” to guide the revision process.

First up?  David Barton and the Reverend Peter Marshall.

In his books and teachings, [David Barton] argues that separation of church and state is a myth and that America’s laws should be based solely on Biblical scriptures. His numerous claims include that the Bible forbids income and capitol gains Taxes. Barton’s views are so far right that even such groups as the Texas Baptists Committee and the Baptist Joint Committee have been vocal critics of his interpretations of history and the U.S. Constitution.

Even better: “Marshall has previously suggested that the California wildfires and Hurricane Katrina were divine punishments on society for the tolerance of homosexuality.”

TODAY comes the news that they’re considering LYNNE CHENEY for the expert panel.

Cheney is well-known for crusading against national history and social studies standards in the 1990s, calling the standards–which the National Endowment for the Humanities helped fund while Cheney was its chair–”grim and gloomy.” Cheney also denounced the standards as a monument to political correctness, claimed they gave insufficient attention to Confederate General Robert E. Lee and the Wright brothers and focusing far too much on figures like Harriet Tubman, and worried that they concentrated too much on embarrassing episodes in the nation’s history, such as the Ku Klux Klan and McCarthyism.

Outraged?  You should be.  The science standards revision made us uncomfortable by flirting with intelligent design–this will make us look like fools.  The next revision won’t happen for another decade, by which point our students will be the laughingstock of the country.

I still can’t tell what can be done about this twisted version of Evangelicals Gone Wild!  I’ve got half a dozen pleas in my inbox to help find real experts to testify before the SBOE, but it’s obvious they don’t care what people like us think.  If you live in Texas, write your state legislator–seriously.  The Lege is already moving to restrict the power of the SBOE after the science and English debacles.

I know that there’s probably very little that I can do about this … but I’ll feel better when it’s all over knowing I did what I could.

 

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