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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I live in Austin, Texas, with my partner, Ray, and our child dog, Mocha. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘blogs’



Boo.

Tuesday, October 27th, 2009

It’s almost Halloween.

Unlike some people I know, I’m not a huge Halloweeny type person.  I haven’t carved a pumpkin since the incident a few years ago when I managed to irritate the crap out of my eyes (and my eye doctor just wanted to know where I’d found a pumpkin, since they were in short supply that year). Also, I don’t have enough room to store Halloween stuff in the house – we can barely fit our eco-friendly Christmas tree.

Plus, this year they’re having a big conference (of teachers — who thought this was a good idea?) this weekend, so I’ll be driving home from Dallas on Halloween evening.  One presumes I shouldn’t have difficulty, since there should be no trick-or-treaters out on the Interstate … one presumes.

I was thinking about this yesterday because a professor from the East European Studies program that I’ve known for years has a dabbling side interest in vampires that’s taken off.  He’s been on those vampire specials on The “History” Channel.  He was brought in as a consultant on “30 Days of Night,” and got to attend the premiere and he was this close! to Josh Hartnett.

He did a reading of vampire stories yesterday, and one of our staff members went to hear him read.  “He’s so neat,” she said.

I was bemoaning the fact that we don’t have vampires in the Middle East.  It’s not because, scientifically, we have more sunlight there (in fact, given that it’s closer to the equator, the hours of day and night are more evenly distributed than they are in the northen latitudes).  They just don’t go as well with sand dunes and … well, frankly, there could be several wandering old Cairo or Damascus and no one would know.

Also — can I just take a moment here to say that if the entire cast of Twilight were to fall into a bottomless pit, it would not bother me in the slightest?  Seriously–am I the only person in the world who thinks that the lead guy is bland and boring?  He’s too thin, and has no muscles, and … yes, what’s really bothering me is that this wasn’t considered “hot” when I still matched that general description.  Wolf dude, on the other hand … isn’t legal.

And the hoardes of fans … fuggetaboutit.

We need to come up with the next great supernatural genre series, stat.  Look at J.K. Rowling — she started off writing on the back of a paper sack and now she’s donating her pocket change to pay off the British national debt.

I was discussing this with my boss yesterday, and he said that whenever he teaches his intro to Islam class, he has to spend ridiculous amounts of time trying to persuade his students that djinn, as mentioned in the Qur’an, and not “genies,” and that even “genies” have nothing to do with Disney’s Aladdin or Barbara Eden.

They might, however, make for an interesting plot device.  [Strokes chin.]  Might have to explore that …

Anyway.  It’s a brisk Tuesday in October — finally.  Hope yours is well :)

Sweet Anonymity

Friday, August 7th, 2009

There are times when I wonder if Web 2.0 is taking us to a level of public exposure previously only known to politicians, porn stars, and Madonna.  Thanks to the wonder of Facebook (and, I suppose, Twitter, which I haven’t joined because I’m not vain enough to think anyone is interesting in knowing if I’m standing in line at the grocery store), we now have 24 hour access to deep thoughts.

The question of whether the thoughts are actually deep and may be better left unexpressed is one that I think that some ought to ask themselves (although, in full disclosure, I certainly didn’t ask myself that before I sat down to write this here post).  There are, among my acquaintances, many people who comment on every single thing that their Facebook “friends” do all day long.  Some comments are amusing, others are … well, clearly not as amusing as their authors think they are.

The ubiquity of Facebook, Twitter, and other forms of social networking means that it’s now possible to create an entire online persona that you can drag with you hither and yon.  Your Yahoo! account can be linked to your Flickr, which is now linked to Twitter, and Google now knows more about you than the federal government, and all of them can be linked to Facebook.  Facebook, if you’re not careful, can also track what you buy on Amazon and rent from Blockbuster or Netflix.  This means that if you rate a movie that you rented on Blockbuster, the netsavvier among us can find within a frighteningly short amount of time those embarrassing photos that your coworker took at the office Christmas party of you pretending to be Smiling Bob from the “natural enhancement” commercials.

My friend Michael has pointed out on occasion that there are clearly people with nothing to do all day who lurk about on the InterWebz and leave bizarre comments on any public forum that invites comment.  Austin is a fairly liberal town.  You wouldn’t know this by reading the online edition of our alleged “newspaper” [sic], the Austin American-Statesman (which, on a side note, was up for sale for 18 months and has been taken off the market because no one wanted to buy it).

The Statesman did this weird thing where it invited readers to form their own blogs and comment on the news — it’s to the point where I can’t actually read the online edition anymore.  Global warming is a man-made myth.  The president was born on Mars (funny, I was pretty sure that was a reference to Lady Gaga).  And any time an article pops up about gay … well, gay anything, the Bible thumpers turn up and start screaming about Satan (see: Barack Obama).  Someone actually told Michael to go back where he came from, Commie.

It’s enough to make you want to pull out your old government book and read aloud the definition of “socialism.”  Kids, do you want to know some countries that are socialist?  Norway, Denmark, and Sweden.

I’m guessing this is all because the sane people have day jobs and don’t have time to sit around and write ultra right wing conspiracy shit all over the Internet, let alone create a fake Kenyan birth certificate for the president … and can I just ask — what, exactly, is the birther movement trying to do?  If you don’t like Obama, fine (I’ll admit, the enchantment has worn off for me, too) but for gawd’s sake, why is it necessary to be coming up with all of these ridiculous stories about how he’s not really American?  Are we really supposed to believe that his parents faked his birth certificate in 1961 because they knew that he was going to run for president 48 years later?  Because if they did, I’d like their phone number — I want to run some stock options by them and see which ones they like.

I know, I know: this is America, and we have freedom of speech.  However, just because we have freedom of speech doesn’t mean we should always feel the need to use it.  Sometimes the best thing to do is realize that you don’t have anything important to say … and then not say it.

Like this:

4,000 words’ worth of photos

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

I’m running a workshop this week, and my brain ain’t so good with the words this evening…

Here’s some photos:

IMG_1131

The ever-popular Miss Mocha, sitting on the new sofa with IKEA-brand throw pillow.

Photos from my garden.  Here are some fire-y habaneros:

IMG_1137

and some jalapenos.  These I’ll pickle:

IMG_1139

And those limes that caused such a stir in last months’ 12 of 12.  They’re coming right along:

IMG_1143

Well, Friday is the 12th again, so if I can’t scrape together enough brainpower to post before then, I’ll see you come 12 of 12!  (Sam … this is your advance warning.  You, too, Brian.  Ain’t seen you in a few months …)

Edit: Transform

Sunday, March 1st, 2009
Please enable Javascript and Flash to view this Blip.tv video.

Through my photography geek blogs, I found this 10 minute video from photographer Zack Arias talking about trying to find himself as an artist.

Doesn’t matter if you’re an artist or not.  Watch it.

Wow.  Just wow.

Contradicting myself

Thursday, January 29th, 2009

I found this meme on Matt‘s blog.  I am feeling uninspired today, so I have stolen it.  Bwa ha! And yes, that kind of contradicts my post yesterday. My blog. Shut up.

The rules are these: bold the items you’ve done; don’t bold items you haven’t done.  Sticking to my principles, I shall not tag anyone for the meme, but let me know if you do it!

1.Started your own blog. Um … hello?

2. Slept under the stars.  If tents count, yeah.

3. Played in a band. I was a band geek in middle school.

4. Visited Hawaii. Yes!  I want to go back.

5. Watched a meteor shower .  Saw one fall over the pyramids.  That was cool.

6. Given more than you can afford to charity. I give to charity, but never that much. I’m too nervous about money.

7. Been to Disney World / Land. Been to Disney World a couple of times. Never as an adult, though.

8. Climbed a mountain. I climbed Mt. Sinai in the dark. Won’t do it again.

9. Held a praying mantis.

10. Sang a solo. I was in musical theater in high school. Interestingly enough, this was before I knew I was gay.

11. Bungee jumped.

12. Visited Paris. Unless Charles deGaulle Airport counts, no.

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea. I don’t think so? I know there have been storms while we’ve been at sea, but can’t recall watching the lightning.

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch.

15. Adopted a child. Does Mocha count?

16. Had food poisoning.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty. Every time I’ve been there, it’s been closed.

18. Grown your own vegetables. Yep. Sometimes I even remember to harvest them before they rot, too.

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France.

20. Slept on an overnight train. I slept on the train from Aswan to Cairo. On the way from Cairo to Luxor I was awake most of the night because I had never traveled through Middle Egypt and wanted to see all the places I hadn’t ever been. Considering it was an overnight train, this was perhaps not the easiest thing to do.

21. Had a pillow fight. In college. Broke my little finger.

22. Hitch hiked.

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. “Wow, Chris must be sick. I heard him getting on a plane.”

24. Built a snow fort. Um, yeah.

25. Held a lamb.

26. Gone skinny dipping. Interestingly, I don’t think I have.

27. Run a Marathon.

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice.

29. Seen a total eclipse. Not a total one, but near total.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset. Yep.

31. Hit a home run. Not officially–I had a friend who was into softball as a kid, and we played a lot, but always in the vacant lot. Who can say if they were homers?

32. Been on a cruise. With Ray to the Yucatan twice, and on the Nile.

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person. Once you’ve seen it, there’s no real reason to go back.

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors. I’ve been to Greece and met the extended family but have not yet made it to the place where either grandparent was born.

35. Been to Amish community. Northeast Ohio.

36. Taught yourself a new language. I taught myself Swedish. Everything else I had to take a class for.

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied. Is that even possible?

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person.

39. Gone rock climbing. I did one of those walls in a gym once. Does that count?

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David.

41. Sung karaoke.

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt. When I was a kid. I’d love to go back to Yellowstone.

43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant. I’ve bought strange people meals before …

44. Visited Africa. Egypt, Morocco, Tanzania. And I’ve changed planes in Nairobi.

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight.

46. Been transported in an ambulance.

47. Had your portrait painted.

48. Gone deep sea fishing.

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person.

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. I saw it when landing in Paris once – does that count? Probably not.

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling. Snorkeling, in the Red Sea, very briefly. I’m not coordinated enough.

52. Kissed in the rain. Have I … ? I … oh, sweetie? Next time it rains, we need to cross this off the list.

53. Played in the mud. Aren’t four year olds genetically designed to be attracted to mud?

54. Gone to a drive-in theater.

55. Been in a movie.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China.

57. Started a business.

58. Taken a martial arts class.

59. Visited Russia.

60. Served at a soup kitchen.

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies.

62. Gone whale watching.

63. Gotten flowers for no reason.

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma. Not allowed to (5 year ban after malaria medication. Well, that and the other thing.)

65. Gone sky diving. Um, no.

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp.

67. Bounced a check. Fortunately, the bank has always been good enough to cover it for me, usually for a massive fee.

68. Flown in a helicopter.

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial. I’ve taken a nap there, too, waiting for the Fourth of July fireworks.

71. Eaten Caviar. Tastes like cold fish jelly.

72. Pieced a quilt.

73. Stood in Times Square. Years ago. I’d like to go back to New York City … when I can afford it.

74. Toured the Everglades. It gets old after a while.

75. Been fired from a job.

76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London. Been many times, but I’ve never actually been there to see the Changing of the Guard.

77. Broken a bone. See #21.

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person.

80. Published a book.

81. Visited the Vatican.

82. Bought a brand new car. Two, in fact.

83. Walked in Jerusalem. Got heatstroke in Jerusalem, too.

84. Had your picture in the newspaper.

85. Read the entire Bible. At this point, I probably have. Not all the way through in one sitting, tho.

86. Visited the White House.

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating.

88. Had chickenpox. I was in kindergarten. I think I still have a scar on my right leg from it.

89. Saved someone’s life.

90. Sat on a jury.

91. Met someone famous.

92. Joined a book club. Ran a book club for a little while, in fact.

93. Lost a loved one.

94. Had a baby. I’ve had a cow.

95. Seen the Alamo in person. Not that impressive.

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake. Seems like it would sting.

97. Been involved in a lawsuit.

98. Owned a cell phone.

99. Been stung by a bee. I have a completely unnatural fear of stinging insects.

 

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