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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I live in Austin, Texas, with my partner, Ray, and our child dog, Mocha. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘Books’



Why Zahi Hawass is a Bigger Creep than Greg Mortenson

Saturday, April 23rd, 2011

Two scandals broke in the world over the past week.

GM Afghan students Wakhan 2006.jpg

The first, and bigger of the two, is the scandal involving Greg Mortenson, the author of the much-ballyhooed Three Cups of Tea, a book that, I confess, I’ve never actually read.  I’ve had something of a love/hate relationship with the book – it’s set in northern Pakistan, so people assume that I must be intimately familiar with the topic of the book because it’s “set in the Middle East.” The problem is, due to the fact that my university has a department that specializes in South Asia, Pakistan lies across the border in the very-well-demarcated border between us. Pakistan is, quite simply, in their part of the world, not mine.

While you may have missed the scandal, you pretty much would have to have been under a rock to have ignored the Three Cups of Tea phenomenon. It’s a book for adults, there’s a young adult version, and a children’s book (which I did buy for my lending library at work). And the message is all about hope and empowerment through education and all that stuff that us do-gooder liburls eat up like candy.

There’s also been something disturbingly neocolonialist about the story that’s never sat well with me and has, on some level, prevented me from picking the book up and reading it myself. White guy stumbles into a village in the mountains of northern Pakistan and discovers that (gasp!) they’re poor and that (gasp!) the girls don’t go to school and that (gasp!) … something about human rights and dignity. The point here isn’t about whether the girls need the education or not (they do), it’s that it took the arrival of Whitey McWhiterson for something to be done about it (or so the story goes) and suddenly Whitey is the world famous celebrity.  Not … y’know, the girls or the schools.  A charity is set up, sixty bajillion dollars are collected, and Whitey reports back that Pakistan’s girls are well educated.

There are a few problems with this story, not least of which is that it isn’t true. The scandal revolves around the fact that not all of the money made it to Pakistan, the charity built fewer schools than it claimed to have done, and parts of Whitey’s story appear to have been fabricated. The last part doesn’t even raise an eyebrow with me.

As an aside, one of the things that irks me about Mortenson’s celebrity is that there are other charities that have been doing this for years – the Aga Khan Development Network has been in the region for two decades building schools for girls. Interestingly, one of the things they ran into was the unexpected phenomenon that the girls were getting a much better education than the boys in the mountain villages and, come marriage time, refused to marry young men they felt were their intellectual inferiors. So now, the AKDN is building boys schools, too. Has Mortenson’s charity found this to be the case? Well, who can say…

Needless to say, Mortenson’s in a heap of trouble and donors are severing links, bladda bladda bladda.  However, as much as Mortenson may be a creep, the work is still getting done, and lives of young girls are being affected in a positive manner.  I’ve read a couple of rather reasonable defenses, both of which have as their main point: don’t throw the baby out with the bathwater.

On to Zahi Hawass.

Hawass

My three or four regular readers are probably thinking, “Jeez, Chris, another picture of a smoldering model? And what does this have to do with Zahi Hawass?”

Zahi Hawass, the egomaniacal Pharaoh for Life of the Egyptian Antiquities Organization has launched his own clothing line. Hawass, who must, by law, appear in any documentary about ancient Egypt (or if it’s not a law, it sure seems that way), decided that people should copy his trademark look, which is based on that of Indiana Jones.

And so, as one does when one has a clothing line, he hired some (not even remotely Egyptian looking) models and posed them in an appropriate venue. In this case, the National Museum of Antiquities (commonly referred to as “The Egyptian Museum”) in downtown Cairo.

In other words, that ain’t a fake mummy case that there model is leaning up against.

Zenobia broke the news last week about the photo shoot, and the photographer (also not Egyptian) responded saying, “Hey, don’t shoot me.”  As a photographer, I feel for the guy – I can’t say that if Zahi Hawass offered me the chance to take photos in the museum I’d turn it down either.

But that’s the problem. Mere mortals can’t. And the reason why has to do with the good Dr. Hawass himself.

Now, museum goers will note that photographers are frequently forbidden from taking photos in museums. Certain pieces of art are trademarked. Flash photography can damage art work, and these are all good points. The impetus in Egypt may have had something to do with that – I do recall back in the mid 90s that photo without flash was OK, but in the museum (as in the tombs of the Valley of the Kings), slipping the guard a bribe to look the other way often circumvented such regulations.

It’s also equally possible that the photo ban had to do with Hawass’s part ownership of the gift shop concession.

However, the bigger problem is that Hawass has grown over the years to treat Egypt’s antiques as if they were his own personal property.

Hawass was at his best when he was doing his functional job as director of the EAO: as the visible worldwide spokesman for Egypt’s antiquities, he was a darn good cheerleader. However, he was often given to controversial statements that were clearly politically motivated – he has denied categorically that there were ever Hebrews in ancient Egypt and denied the historicity of the Exodus, both statements that are a wild leap over the lack of available archaeological evidence. Indeed the statement appears to be more aimed at denying any legitimacy to Israel’s occupation of Sinai between 1967 and 1983.  Needless to say, when you’re a money raiser, this isn’t the wisest course of action.

Hawass’s own scientific prowess has been questioned, and the veracity of many of his claims – not just the one about the  Hebrews—has been scrutinized over the years. More emphatically are claims of favoritism in allowing teams to dig at certain sites, and his tendency to take credit for discoveries that someone else made. In addition to the whole concessions thing. The looting of sites during the Egyptian Revolution seemed to be the last straw: the Supreme Military Council removed him as Director (a cabinet level position), then reinstated him, and then he was removed again pending a court case that he lost which earned him a year’s probation.

So, why do I claim that Hawass is a bigger creep than Mortenson? Because, quite frankly, for all of his gaffes, Mortenson has actually done some good work. As has Hawass, but Mortenson doesn’t claim to be the president of northern Pakistan. Hawass, on the other hand, clearly views all of Egypt’s antiquities as his personal playthings to do with as he sees fit. He’s crossed the line between being a caretaker and dictator. I’m not pardoning Mortenson’s conduct, but for me … Zahi Hawass is an institution whose time has come. There are plenty of other people in the world of Egyptology who could do a much better job: Kent Weeks and Salma Ikram, of the American University in Cairo are two. Wifaa Sadik, the director general of the Egyptian Museum is another.

Put another way: it would be a shame for girl’s education in northern Pakistan to stop being a cause celebre due to Mortenson’s mistakes, because, as such causes go, it’s a good one. Egyptology, on the other hand, isn’t going to suffer a bit when Hawass goes. In fact, it’ll probably improve.

And that’s why Zahi Hawass is a bigger creep than Gren Mortenson.

Confessions of an Arabic Learner

Friday, December 11th, 2009

The other day whilst trying to set up an appointment to discuss a project with our associate chair, she mentioned casually that she couldn’t meet one afternoon because she was supposed to be on Wisconsin Public Radio.

“Really?  Why?”
“I’m … not actually sure,” she said.  “They want to talk about learning Arabic?”

Well, the interview is now online, and it’s quite the doozy.  For those not inclined to listen to the whole 54 minutes, the first five will do it — it’s long enough to establish the following:

  1. The woman doing the interview is a complete idiot.
  2. The woman doing the interview did absolutely no research on how to pronounce the name of the book that she’s supposedly basing the entire interview around (“Al-Kitaab fi ta’alum al-’arabiyya” — she shortens it to “Al-Kitaab,” which means “the book” and would be pronounced as a mashup of the two common English words “kit” and “tab” as they are pronounced by Americans.  Not only can she not do this, she actually changes the way she pronounces it over the course of the hour several times).
  3. The woman doing the interview clearly did not ask one of her interviewees, Mahmoud al-Batal, how to pronounce his name, as she consistently pronounces it wrong (and, again, her pronunciation changes over the course of the hour) — which, I’m sorry, is a horribly egregious error.  I’ve had people make sure they’re pronouncing MY name correctly before, and my name is pretty damned easy.
  4. The goal of the interview is to make learning Arabic sound as difficult as humanly possible.  Whether this was the stated goal or not, I don’t know, but I was alternately amused and astonished by her inability to move beyond the fact that Arabic is read and written from right-to-left (and also to find out exactly why this is — including, if possible, assigning personal blame for it).

My favorite part of the hour is that you can practically hear the two interviewees looking at each other and trying to nonverbally work out how to respond without calling the interviewer a complete moron.

Anyway, for those who are so inclined, here are some reflections about learning Arabic that I’d like to share.  This is based not only on my knee jerk reaction to this interview, but from the 16 years of experience I’ve had being a white guy learning and speaking Arabic and responding to  questions from those who do not.

Things that are not actually difficult about learning Arabic as a foreign language.

1. The alphabet (more correctly in this case, it’s an abjad).  Arabic has an actual alphabet.  Each letter stands for a specific consonant sound.  It’s not written in characters.  Once you learn the alphabet–which took about three weeks when I started, but that’s because Arabic 101 only met twice a week–it’s a non-issue, and you don’t have to revisit it ever again unless you decide to take up a language that uses the same alphabet but has more letters (Persian, Urdu, and Malaysian, for example), in which case you’ll have to learn the new letters.  It’s really not that hard.

2. Arabic is always written in cursive — even when it’s printed or typed.  It was bewildering the first time that my Arabic instructor, having taught us the letters a, l, k, t, and b (ا ل ك ت ب) put them all together to form “alktab” (al-kitaab, الكتاب), “the book”.  You stare at it for about 10 seconds, and then it clicks.  By the end of the first class of 101, this is not an issue anymore.  I’ve done this with 6th graders.  They can get it.  It’s really not that hard.

Explaining this to Hollywood, on the other hand, is another story.  I’ve lost count of the number of times that I’ve seen Arabic text in the background that doesn’t connect — which, frankly, renders the text unreadable.  Most recently, some characters on the show “FlashForward” traveled to Hong Kong looking for Shohreh Aghdashloo (who must be desperate for work), and stopped by an Iranian restaurant she was known to frequent.  The restaurant’s sign was in English and Persian (written with the Arabic alphabet) … and the Persian letters didn’t connect.

I also once saw improperly formed Arabic tatooed on a guy in a Sean Cody video.  Poor guy.

3. Sounds that aren’t in English. Once you learn how to say them properly, you get over it.  However, contrary to popular belief, there are actually four H sounds in Arabic, and only one of them sounds like forming a spit ball.  The alphabet is fully phonetic — every letter has one sound.  And it’s always the same sound.  Unlike English.  Contemplate, if you will, the utter uselessness of the letters c and x sometime — both simply replicate sounds produced by other letters — x has no unique functions (it can be represented as “eks”), and c’s only unique function is in the syllable “ch” as in “choose”.  K and q aren’t as differentiated as they ought to be — as in, for example, the Arabic ك  and ق

4. Reading and writing from right to left. Although our interviewer gets hung up on this, it’s probably the biggest non-issue of them all.  It just is.

5. The lack of a “be” verb. There is no verb “to be” in Arabic (it’s a Semitic language quirk — there isn’t one in Hebrew, either).  “be” is implied.  To say you’re a student, you say, انا طالب, which is literally “I student.”  The “am” is implied.

Things that are more difficult about learning Arabic as a foreign language.

1. The non-writing of vowels. Like every other Semitic language out there (except, apparently, Amharic, which at some point gave in), along with a number of other languages that use abjads, vowels — specifically short vowels — are not written.  Normally this isn’t such a problem, however, to continue with our example, let’s look at ktb — كتب.  It could be “kutub” (books), it could be “kataba” (he wrote), or it could be “kutiba” (it was written).  You have to figure it out from context, which is a bit of an advanced skill.

2. The lack of cognates with English. The running joke when learning Spanish is that you can add “o” to the end of an English word and make it a Spanish word.  It’s usually not true, but it’s based on the number of cognates between the two languages — words that are similar enough in form and meaning that speakers of one can understand the other.  In Arabic, however, you can’t add “al-” to the front of an English word and make it correct — it’s kind of a crutch that the non-fluent but advanced speakers can use when speaking to a bilingual crowd so as not to break stride — I’ve thrown English words in when I don’t know the Arabic ones — but it doesn’t work in casual conversation.  The only cognates you’re likely to find are ones that were English to begin with: al-internet.  al-kumbyootir.  ad-dimuqraasiya. at-tiknuluujiya.

3. The lack of a “be” verb.  Where the lack of the be verb gets tricky is in the way the language has compensated for it — while there is not a verb for “to be,” there IS what my first Arabic instructor went to very great pains to make sure that we all understood was definitely NOT a verb for “to not be.”  Similarly, there is a not-verb for “to have been.”  Never mind that both look, smell, sound, and function like verbs in every other way, except, of course, for the fact that they’re not verbs.  Dammit.

4. There are no irregular verbs in Arabic. There are 500 regular verbal patterns, 495 of which only apply to one verb each.

5. Broken plurals. Similarly, there are lots of patterns for pluralizing words … and many of them are really irregular.  Grad students like to sit around and make up broken plurals for English to amuse themselves, which is how we decided a few years ago that the plural of “Bi-otch” is “Bowatchaa’”

6. Diglossia.  This is probably the biggest challenge for the learner of Arabic as a foreign language.  “Arabic” — the language that is taught in a classroom, is often Modern Standard Arabic, a constructed high language based on the language of the Qur’an (but not necessarily mutually intelligible with it).  It is grammatically rigid, nuanced, and eloquent.  It is not, however, what people speak in their daily lives.  Countries, regions, cities all have their own dialects that are based on MSA, but have been influenced over the centuries by other factors.

The Egyptian dialect–the one I’m the most familiar with–contains both words of Turkish origin (from the four centuries of Ottoman rule) as well as words of Coptic origin (Coptic is the language of the Egyptian Christian church, and is descended from the ancient Egyptian language).  In fact, I have a book on my shelf that outlines the number of words in Egyptian Arabic that can be traced back to the days of the pharaohs.  The Moroccan dialect, by contrast, contains a lot of words that haven’t been used since the medieval period in other parts of the Arab world, as well as a lot of Berber and French.

When I first arrived in Egypt as an undergrad, I had two years of Modern Standard under my belt and found myself unable to communicate with another living soul.  Those who could speak Modern Standard usually tired of hearing me struggle and would switch to English, which they usually spoke better than I could speak Arabic.

New textbooks now introduce dialect early on — as well they should.  I couldn’t even agree with people — I’d been taught to use the formal na’am, while most people in the eastern Mediterranean actually say aywa.

A few thoughts to throw out there — Arabic is definitely a challenging language, but the things that most people get hung up on aren’t even an issue.  Get over the squiggly letters and the right-to-left, oh interviewers of the world!

And, for God’s sake, quite trying to figure out whose fault it is … yeesh.

Randomness

Monday, November 9th, 2009

Each of the following is too short for a posting on its own, but I’ve worked up to a collection:

  • My brother and I seem to be incapable of having a phone conversation that doesn’t involve one of us waking up the other.  He called me at 11 PM my time and woke me up (I mentioned this previously).  I returned the favor by waking him up when I called him back.  In my defense, it was 1 PM his time when I called (he’d taken the red eye home from Thailand and was sleeping it off).
  • When I was trying to call my brother, I was having frustration issues with Skype: it absolutely refused to dial my brother’s South Korean mobile number–it kept dropping a digit.  Skype insisted that mobile numbers in South Korea are only supposed to have 9 digits–my brother’s has 10.  I was able to download an updated version of Skype that accepted the crucial 10th digit, but … I installed it on my laptop in early summer, at which point it was the latest version.  My brother has had the same mobile number for three years.
  • I just had a conversation with a coworker in which she was telling me–in great detail–that being gassed is a pain-free way to die.  I’m really not sure that I want to know why it is that she knows this.  This was after she ran down a list of everyone in the office that she didn’t want to hang.  It was a relatively short list.  Fortunately, I was on it … which didn’t stop me from backing away slowly.
  • I’m pretty sure there was an amateur porn star behind me in line at Wendy’s in the student union today.  Not right behind me,  just close enough for me to wonder why I thought I’d seen him before … and then to be embarrassed later when I realized where.  And relieved when I realized that I hadn’t actually seen the video in question (for the record: the haircut and crooked teeth.  Most of the guys recruited for those things are so interchangeable, I remember seeing an ad for his and thinking, “Jeez, what were they thinking?”)
  • This afternoon, my boss brought up four stacks of books from our reading room that had been on the shelves in his office, “for a little while” (as he said).  The books have been in his office at least since before we got new bookshelves in the reading room … which was in 2002.  I know my sense of time is a bit off, but wow.
  • This is funny.

It’s not paranoia if the universe really is conspiring against you.

Friday, October 23rd, 2009

It all began with the shortribs.

A few days ago, I was cruising through the grocery store and saw beef shortribs on sale, and I was reminded of a recipe for curried short ribs that I’d seen in a recent issue of Cooking Light, the only cooking magazine that I actually subscribe to.  In addition to liking spicy food, I remembered the recipe because it involved a crock pot, and I also enjoy the concept of having dinner waiting when I get home.

I bought some of the shortribs and, Wednesday night, I diligently went through the steps to get them ready so that when Ray left the next morning, all he’d need to do is take the crock pot insert out of the fridge and push “start.”

I remembered thinking when I put everything together that it didn’t seem like there was that much liquid in the basin, but … well, the people that do these things have to know what they’re talking about, right? After all, one of the final steps in the process involved creating a serving sauce out of the cooking liquid.  I assumed/hoped that the remaining liquid was supposed to come out of the meat itself and took that leap of faith.

This was my first mistake.

I came home yesterday hoping to smell the pleasant odor of succulent shortribs that had been slow cooking all day.  Instead, I smelled charred meat.  I casually went through the motions of taking off my jacket, putting my phone on to charge, and emptying out my backpack before venturing over to the crockpot — after all, if the meat really was charred, another minute wasn’t going to make a difference after six hours in the crockpot, now, was it?

I was half right: the sauce had congealed and was now a black, crusty, burned mess all over the base of the crock pot.  The meat, however, past a crunchy outer shell was still pretty tender and moist.  This isn’t to say that I didn’t have a moment where I considered tossing the whole thing out and texting Ray to pick up something from Taco Bueno on the way home from class.

However, I perservered, shredding the beef and cobbling together a red curry and vegetable sauce to go with it.  Fortunately, Ray actually enjoys cremated beef, and I’m not enough of a connoisseur to know the difference (I’ve only recently, tentatively, re-introduced dead cow into my diet after years of avoiding it).

The crock pot, by the by, is still soaking in the sink — I haven’t managed to get all of the black stuff off yet.

So I came into work this morning and realized that my desk was beyond messy and that it was finally time for me to do something about it.  While in the midst of clearing off paperwork dating to the late Neolithic period from my desk, I heard a thunk behind me.  I turned around to discover that my bookcase, which I wasn’t working with … or touching … had chosen that exact moment to collapse downward: the textbook-laden top shelf had given way downward, thus causing the shelf below to collapse onto the shelf below it, and so on.  Given that the whole thing looked like it was about to pitch forward, I immediately turned my attention to that situation immediately, discovering after repeated trial and error that the force of the downward pressure was pushing the sides of the bookcase out, meaning that the shelves weren’t reaching their mounts.

At one point, there were papers strewn all over the desk and chair, books on the floor and loveseat, and me looking like I wanted to cry in the middle.  When I vented about this to Ray later, he asked, “Did you take a photo?  Sounds like good blog material.”

Which it was, but let me assure you, dear readers, that the presence of mind I would have needed to think of that at the time was far, far away.

When I finally managed to get it all cleaned up–and I did manage to get it all cleaned up, I sat down at my desk, whereupon the speakers that I have mounted to the underside of the hutch that runs over my computer speakers promptly fell off with a loud clatter.

And so, speakers remounted, bookcase put back together, desk now clean and presentable, I am doing the only thing that I can think to do next: whine about it to as many people as possible.

Don’tcha feel lucky?

Summer’s End

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Summer officially ends today here on this esteemed campus of higher learning.  Never mind that today will likely be the 66th consecutive day of 100+ degree temperatures, and that we’re still in a massive drought.  Summer’s over when classes start.

Most years, it seems that I always have something to say about the massive influx of students.  There is something disarming about the arrival of 40,000 students on campus all at once (and believe you me, they all showed up over the weekend).  Our summer school numbers are pretty low here, something I’ve never quite understood since it’s an easy way to relieve that crowding over the rest of the year, but what do I know?

The Bible pushers weren’t out yet this morning when I came in.  You may recall them from a post several years ago in which I lamented my inability to throw out holy scripture that I didn’t want.  I’m sure I’ll see them this afternoon, unless their precious saved souls can’t quite deal with the heat.  That’d be funny.

When I got to my department this morning, I was surprised to find new fliers up everywhere.

We have this professor–I won’t name him because he actually googles himself on a daily basis (and given his narcissism, there’s at least three or four entendres at work in that statement)–who has declared himself the only expert in the bizarre dialect of a language that he teaches.  He’s declared his office the World Headquarters of studies in this particular language.

So, this morning, there are fliers up all over the place.  He’s running some bizarre contest, and god alone knows what the prize will be.  A copy of his most recent biography, I suppose.  (Seriously: he publishes these random books consisting of his journals through one of those “publish it yourself” vanity presses, like we all need to know what his opinion of the canapes at a restaurant that no longer exists is … )

I saw another professor on my way out yesterday.  We joke around the office that he taught Hebrew to Moses — seriously, the guy is almost 90 and still teaching.  I’ve thought to myself that I suppose that I’d like to be that active at his age.  (The other running joke is that he’s still teaching because he’s afraid that if he retires he’ll discover that, after all these years, he really doesn’t like his wife.)  We have come in on Monday mornings and noticed on the switchboard phone that the receiver in his office is off the hook and wondered to ourselves if he failed to hang up properly again, or if this is going to be the time that we key into his office and find him still in there …

He’s also massively grumpy at times, when it comes to things like only four students registered for his class and it’s going to be cancelled due to low enrollment.  This was yesterday’s drama, and he was complaining about it to everyone.  The problem there is that the person he needed to complain to wasn’t in the office, so the rest of it had to hear about it at some length.  He doesn’t talk very loudly or quickly, you see.

The kicker to all of the pre-semester faculty drama is that I had a meeting yesterday that included the faculty member who sent a particularly nasty message at the end of my trip to Cairo.  She was very nice and sweet and pretended like nothing ever happened.  I suppose that’s one way to deal with it, but … for god’s sake, if you’re going to be that bitchy, own it!  Don’t brush it under the rug.  Seriously, does no one understand the finer points of bitchcraft?

At any rate.  I need to go see how we’re doing on the office pool: the first day of classes we always have a pool to guess what time the first panicked student will arrive freaking out because he/she couldn’t get into the class he/she wanted.  Never mind that registration is over and that we’ve been here all summer long — there’s always a handful of them.  I picked 8:45.

I hope your summer is ending smoothly :)

 

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