Amazon.com Widgets
I’m not mad.  Really.

About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I\'m an opinionated, snarky, gay academic with a predilection for the history, the Arab world, languages, photography, food, and music. I live in Austin, Texas. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘cairo’



Facebook is a Punk-Ass Chump

Wednesday, July 29th, 2009

Yeah, that’s right.  I said it.  And I stole it off a bumper sticker describing our last president.

I won’t deny that I have used Facebook for varying purposes both professional and personal.  I have used it to stalk our notoriously blasé alumnae, whose career trajectories we are supposed to track (and they know this) but who are really, really, really bad about keeping us informed of their whereabouts the moment they leave town.  I have used it to look up people I used to know in a former life; not in the Shirley MacLaine definition thereof, but people I knew from my days as an underpaid, overworked cog at a non-profit in DC, people I knew from my days as an undergraduate, and people I knew from (shudder) high school.

I have stopped friending people from high school.  At this point, I’m “friends” with people that I knew well.  My “people you may know” box lists a number of people that I didn’t know well and, you know what?  If they want to get in touch, they can friend me. As the number of people that I have known in my life is actually something of a finite number (I was a bit of a wallflower until grad school), it’s that little box right there that’s been the source of some amusement and derision of late.

Maybe it’s just that I’m bitter that I don’t actually know most of the people that the little box suggests.  The chain of linkages seems to have worn thin–Facebook has, on occasion, suggested people to be friends of mine for no other obvious reason than they happen to have the same name as people that I already know.  That’s weird, right?

I am not in favor of the introduction of things that I can “Fan” into my “people you may know” box.  There are too many things to “fan” these days.  “Flipping the pillow over to get to the cool side”?  Really? The day that I completely lost my patience was … well, I found it creepy that a little box appeared suggesting that I become a fan of “butt sex” right next to another little box suggesting that I friend my high school guidance counselor.

Seriously.  Ew.

Then, of course, there are the recent spate of groups that have popped up that are Iran related.  I can support “free and fair elections in Iran,” I have been asked to support “supporters of free and fair elections in Iran,” I have been asked to join a group called “Where is their vote?”, a group called “Where is MY vote?”, and something in Persian that I can’t read because I don’t read Persian.  I’ve been asked to shade my profile photo green (I’m standing against a green background–I’m lazy and that’ll have to suffice).  I’ve also been asked to become a supporter of Mir Hussein Moussavi, which I decided not to do because, other than the fact that people are protesting because they think he won the elections in June, I don’t really know that much about his politics and whether I support them.

Therein, of course, lies the rub: I still think about what I do on Facebook like it matters.  I have “friends” who clearly don’t.  Two weeks ago, I came back to my hotel in Cairo after a lovely evening watching the sufi dances in the old city, followed by a stroll through the part of the old city that’s now lit up at night.  I booted up my laptop since the Internet seemed to run faster in the wee hours of the night, and discovered that someone who went to high school with me for one year and recently friended me had posted an article from a Christian Web site freaking out because “Islam is trying to take over America” (*coughfirstcough*). I had no problem removing this individual as a friend since it was clear that we had nothing in common (and he clearly hadn’t actually looked at my profile long enough to determine that I’m a hellbound homo).

The same happened to a couple of people who kept trying to recruit me to causes like, “Impeach Obama now!” (Why the sitting president is worthy of impeachment for any reason other than being black a Democrat is beyond me.  Always amazes me that these are the same people who sat idly by while Tricky Dick Cheney sat there with a pair of scissors and cut up the constitution.)

My friend Will is currently on a campaign to remove all of the birthers from his roster of Facebook friends.  I don’t think I have any birthers in mine, although I can’t be sure because there are a few people who are permanently hidden (mostly because their status updates are a nonstop slough of quizzes, status updates from Mafia Wars, or invoke God just a few more times than I think a normal person should when, say, mentioning that you just got home from the grocery store–praise Jesus!).

And don’t even get me started on those bizarre high school competitions to see who can garner the most friends.  There’s a reason that my profile is now on permanent lockdown.

All this is to say that Facebook is starting to spoil a little bit, like cheese left out in the sun for a week.  I’m curious to see what the next big thing in social networking will be … because I’m totally going to join it, and then blog about how much it annoys me.  Just like everyone else :grin:

Ahh, it’s good to be back

Monday, July 27th, 2009

Note: names have been changed to protect the clueless.

On one of my earlier days on this trip to Cairo, I got a random message from my boss, in that weird formal style he always uses.

Dear Chris:

[Name of new faculty member who hasn't yet moved to Austin] wants more information about the upcoming conference you’re working on.  Could you please send her the details.

Hooshmand.

I wrote back:

Hooshmand:

Will be happy to do so, but I don’t have her contact info — can you send it to me?

Chris.

And then I heard nothing.  I didn’t think much of this, as I was out of the country, and also, the conference in question is still months off (and I don’t really have any information to provide yet).

I kind of put it out of my mind until this morning, when I got an unexpected message from the new faculty member in question, in which she gave me her e-mail address. I thought this was a little weird — was she copied on that original message and I didn’t notice?  Sometimes on the Exchange Web access it’s hard to tell.

I went back through my e-mail and was able to determine that the message that he’d sent was only copied to me.

And then I scrolled through the text of the message I’d just received.  And I was able to determine that, rather than just send me her e-mail address, he had, in fact, gone through the trouble of looking up her e-mail, sending my message to her, and letting her respond with the one piece of information I needed … which he already had.

I’m going to assume he did this at the crack of midnight after a difficult night of dealing with the new infant and just wasn’t thinking clearly.  Because the alternatives … are significantly more frightening.

Ahh, it’s good to be back.

Vignettes

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

I’m back home in Austin.  I flew home on Friday, a long day that involved a lot of nodding off in odd places.  I had to leave for the airport at 1 am, so there wasn’t any actual sleep (I tried to nap a little in my hotel room, but I kept jerking awake out of fear that I’d oversleep).

As usual, the Cairo Airport luggage cart mafia got the last word: As I was standing in line to go through security (in many international gateways, you have to go through X-ray with your luggage before you get to check-in), I was asked which airline I was flying.

“Turkish,” I said.
“This line is for Olympic,” he said.  (For the record: this is BS.  The ticket lobby is wide open once you go through security — there is no “this line is for this airline, and that line is for that airline.”)  I knew where this was going, but before I could stop him, he’d grabbed my luggage and started walking at an extremely fast pace across the terminal to the next checkpoint over.
“You give me money now,” he said.”  He wound up with 1 Egyptian pound and 1 US dollar — the last cash I had on me.

I may have mentioned this before, but it’s worth saying again: I hate Cairo Airport.  It’s a pit of snakes.

Fortunately, there were better moments on this trip.

Al-Azhar at Night

One evening, I suggested to a friend who hadn’t seen much of the city besides the campus where he was studying and the apartment where he lived that we visit the old city in the evening.  The snakes who run the Khan al-Khalili bazaar tend to be a little less venomous toward the end of the day.  Shortly out of the cab, I wandered over to the newly restored area between the Wikala and Madrassa of Sultan al-Ghori, which I hadn’t seen since the restoration was complete.  While looking at the new roof over the area, a man wandered over to us and struck up a conversation.  His English wasn’t the best, so the conversation took place primarily in Arabic.

It turned out that he was working on the restoration project, and after a few moments, he offered to show us around.  I’m normally leery of offers like this as they tend to end with a bill being produced, but he seemed pretty genuine and kept insisting that he wasn’t doing it for baksheesh.

For the next two hours, we wandered the back streets south of al-Azhar mosque.  Granted, he showed us a lot of craft workshops that made things neither of us were interested in buying, but it didn’t seem to bother him.

The only point where money entered into the conversation was when we went down to Bab Zuwayla, the southern gate to old Cairo that dates from 970 AD.  The mosque of Shaykh Moizz li-din Allah adjoins the bab, and for a little bribing, you can get the caretaker to let you up on the roof.

_MG_3752

As we were up on top of the mosque, with its view of the old city and the cliffs of Muqattam that border Cairo to the east, the muezzins began making the call to prayer (the azan).  From our vantage point, you could hear muzzein after muezzin chanting from the city’s four thousand mosques, the sounds echoing off of each other and weaving into a great chant that is, to me, one of the most quintessential sounds of Egypt: prayer, street activity, and traffic.  How Cairo.

As we descended, he asked us to make a donation to the mosque, which we were happy to do.  After that, it was back to the main street where he’d met us, with a handshake and a good bye.  I gave him a little Austin lapel pin that I had left over from the trip to Turkey, and with that we were on our way.

The next day, I returned to the old city on my own to wander all over creation and shoot some photos.  I came on my own deliberately, as I know my interest in architecture and little alleyways is not shared by many … OK, most … of my friends.  I’ve learned that it’s better to just come on my own.

There was a slightly ugly incident near Bab al-Nasir, one of the two northern gates of the city.  As I was passing a small food stall, the guy working the fry station practically threw a piece of ta’amiyya (Egyptian felafel — it’s made with fava beans instead of chick peas) at me.  The next thing I knew, I was being bodily pulled into the restaurant, made to sit at a table, and plates of food that I didn’t want were placed in front of me.  I just wasn’t hungry, and I wasn’t entirely comfortable, as I imagined that this exchange was going to end with an outrageous bill being presented.  I wasn’t wrong.

The conversation started off nicely enough, with the usual, “Where are you from?  What’s your name?” questions, and a bit of bizarre cross cultural communication took place when it was revealed that I apparently have the same first name as The Undertaker from WCW(?).  There was a moment of admiration of the bandana that I carry as a sweat rag.  This is nothing new, and I’ve learned to carry spares.  These were given out -  I had enough for all the guys in the stand, but then things got ugly.

“I’ve got a kid,” said one of the guys.  “What do you have for him?”
“Um … ” I looked in my camera bag.  To my shock, he actually reached in and pulled something out, and I smacked his hand, and snarled at him.  The phrase Leh keddah literally means “What’s this?” but said the right way it connotes “WTF, dude?”  I eventually parted with a hotel pen that I’d picked up somewhere in my travels, and then decided it was time to make my exit.  I was presented with a bill for 30 pounds ($6 – which is probably a 500% inflation over what a local would have paid) and then everyone started asking for a tip.  Fortunately, by this time, I was far enough outside the restaurant that they couldn’t block my way, so I pretended I couldn’t understand and walked away.

I was irritated by this experience, and kept trying to calm myself down by reminding myself that I hadn’t spent that much, when a woman wearing a niqab (the face veil with a slit for the eyes) came up to me, motioning with her hands.  She was a beggar.

The guys at the restaurant had taken all of my small bills, and I just didn’t have anything.  I did, however, have a bag of leftover ta’amiya and french fries.  “I don’t have any money,” I said.  “Would you like food?”

She looked at me, puzzled.  “You speak Arabic?”  (This was an odd comment, considering that I’d spoken to her in Arabic, but I’m used to it.  There’s something about looking the way I do and speaking Arabic that just causes brains to short circuit all over Egypt).
“Yeah.”
This was followed by the usual questions about where I was from, etc., and I gave her the food and headed off.  At which point she asked me if I wanted to take her photo — a bit of a startling question from a woman in a face veil!

I headed down through the Khan al-Khalili as quickly as possible and crossed the bridge to the relative safety of the other side.  My plan was to walk down through Bab Zuwayla and then down through the Khan of the tentmakers and through the neighborhood beyond.

This is an area that’s not frequented by foreigners, but if my presence caused any consternation, it didn’t show.  A couple of boys asked me to take their photo.

Boys

I’m ashamed that I don’t remember their names.

The only incident happened further down the street.  I stopped to snap a photo of a mosque, and the guy working at a street cart selling pots and pans, asked me, “What are you taking a photo of?  I don’t want any photos of me!”
“I took a photo of the mosque,” I said.
“The mosque?” he asked.  I showed him on the LCD panel on my camera, and suddenly the scowl was replaced with a big smile and a thumbs up.

And that was it.  So much for the seething anti-Americanism on the Arab street.

Even that night, when my friend and I came back to see the Sufis and visit the newly lit up monuments north of the Khan al-Khalili, it was a mixture of ignorance and cheerful questions.  And the monuments do look incredible at night.

Shari'a Moizz at Night.

And so.  When I got to Cairo, I remembered thinking, “How am I going to fill up this time?”  By the time it was over, it seemed like it went so quickly.

Which is not to say that I wasn’t ready to come home.  Probably the ugliest moment on the entire trip occurred the morning before I left, in the form of an e-mail from work.  Someone on the organizing committee of a conference I’m working on sent a message that was so ugly that it actually brought tears to my eyes.  By the time I saw the message, several others had weighed in, and there was a message from my boss asking me not to respond to it because, “I’ve already told her in no uncertain terms that this message is completely unacceptable.”   Even so, it put me in an absolutely foul mood, and my brain has been wandering back to it ever since (12 hour flights are great for stewing).  It was a nasty reminder of things waiting for me when I go back to work tomorrow.

And so.  I have vague memories of the plane taking off from Cairo at 3:30 am on Friday, and equally vague memories of the plane landing in Istanbul.  I found a bench to sleep for part of the 6 hour layover in Istanbul and conked out again for a good chunk of the flight from Istanbul to Chicago.  (The two bottles of wine served with lunch might have helped).

And now, I’m home where it’s hotter than it was in Egypt!  But I’m happy to be back with Ray and Mocha and not spending a lot of money all the time — Egypt has gotten significantly more expensive over the past couple of years.  The economic recession has not been kind there.

All the same … well, I’m not planning my next trip back yet, but it’s always in the back of my mind.  That’s just kind of the way I am.

12 of 12: July 2009 / ١٢ من ١٢: يوليو ٢٠٠٩

Sunday, July 12th, 2009

It’s time once again for 12 of 12!  This 12th of July, I’m in Cairo, capitol of the Arab Republic of Egypt.  I’ve been out of the US since June 29 — I was in Turkey for 10 days and flew down here on the 9th.  (For the record, and if you’re interested, there are photos from Turkey here).

I’ve been in Cairo many times — I studied here for a year in university — and it’s one of my favorite places in the world.  This is my first visit since 2006. I’m here on a combined business / vacation trip.  Although today is a business day (the work week in Egypt is Sunday through Thursday, since Friday is the communal day of prayer in Islam), I didn’t have any meetings scheduled, so it was kind of a fun day.

7:52 am: Skyping with Ray

_MG_3493

I’ve been waking up kind of early since I got here, and I caught Ray up late at home so we talked by Skype for a bit.  Mocha was in the picture for a bit, but she never quite looked at the camera.  Sorry, Mocha fans, there are no photos of her this month :(

10:00 am: Errands

_MG_3498

After pretending to go back to sleep for a bit, I finally wandered out around 10 o’clock to go pick up my laundry from the place down the street.  The laundry is in the same complex as the supermarket, so I stopped in to pick up some water and soda first, and then carried it all back to the hotel.  It was warm in Cairo today (102 F/41 C), and unusually humid.  This is, lamentably, still cooler than it is at home in Austin.  Tomorrow it’s going to be cooler – by Tuesday, it’ll be 91 (36).

1:56 pm: Christian Cairo

_MG_3508

I met up today with Tarek, our junior professor in modern Arabic literature, and we went down to the so-called Christian quarter.  It’s in the oldest part of the city, which actually predates the city of Cairo by 300 years.  A little-known fact: around 10 per cent of Egypt’s population is Christian, belonging to the native Coptic Church.  In an area of town called Mar Girgis, there are a number of churches and one of the few synagogues remaining in the country, all clumped together.

Tarek and I first hit the Coptic Museum (no photography allowed), and then wandered through the rest of the complex.  Although it’s a tourist draw, most of the people there were Egyptian, which was OK by us.

2:11 pm: St George’s Cemetery

_MG_3521

That’s Tarek taking a photo of the mausoleums in the Greek Orthodox cemetery behind St. George’s Church.  There are a bunch of mausoleums and family plots back there.  I was a bit surprised to find the tomb of someone with the same name as my grandfather — how many Neoklis Triantafillides’s could there have been in the Greek speaking world?

2:16 pm: Water from the Holy Well

_MG_3534

Although it’s not spelled out in the Gospels, the Egyptians have an entire itinerary set out for exactly where the Holy Family (Mary, Joseph, and the infant Jesus) traveled during their flight into Egypt.  In the cemetery is a crypt built over a cave where the Holy Family is said to have sheltered and drawn water from the well above.  As Mary (as Meryem) and Jesus (as ‘Issa) are both revered as prophets in Islam as well as Christianity, you can see adherents of both faiths making pilgrimages at these shrines.

2:51 pm: … you crazy, adorable fool

_MG_3556

The oldest known synagogue in Egypt still in existence, the Ben Ezra Synagogue, is in Mar Girgis as well, although, once again, no photography allowed.  Tarek and I got the royal tour, and were shown to the ‘Ayn Musa, the spring of Moses, located behind the synagogue.  This is said to be the spring where Pharaoh’s daughter drew the baby Moses from the Nile (the synagogue is said to be on the place where Moses pleaded with God to stop the plagues inflicted on Egypt).

3:12 pm: Off to Lunch

_MG_3559

OK, by this point in the day it was really hot in the sun and time for lunch.  Tarek and I had made plans to meet up with some students who are here for the summer, so we set back off for the area where I’m staying and several of the students live.

I am routinely asked by people if I feel unsafe traveling to Egypt as often as I do.  The answer is no – I have been coming to Egypt for 15 years, and I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m American, nor that I’m Christian (I don’t mention the part about being gay, however — that’s one barrier I’m not willing to cross here).  I’ve never been greeted with anything but kindness by people here.

The one place I do feel unsafe is on the road, however.  Egyptian taxis are built like tanks, but it doesn’t stop me from flinching often when riding in them.  Cairo is horrifically congested (by most unofficial estimates there are 20 million people in the Cairo/Giza/Shubra el Khayma metropolitan area) and it can take ages to get anywhere.  The Metro, wisely, is more for local use than tourists (it’s also not air conditioned), so we decided to cab it.

3:44 pm: Decisions, Decisions

_MG_3571

We met up for lunch at Abu Sid, a local upscale Egyptian restaurant.  You can get just about everything they serve on the street, but without the nasty side effects afterwards :)

5:38 pm: Towel Art

_MG_3582

Back on my own, I headed back to the hotel — a small, unassuming place run by a lady who governs with an iron fist.  I had forgotten that I’d hung my socks on the towel rack to dry after handwashing them in the sink this morning.  Hence, the guy who cleans the rooms at the hotel got a little creative with towel placement and left me a duck!

8:05 pm: Sunset

_MG_3589

In my food coma haze, I checked e-mail quickly and read while half watching episodes of the less successful Law and Order franchises (Trial by Jury; Trial by Fire; and Parks and Recreational Petty Crimes Division).  I lose track of the time until I hear the call to prayer wafting in through the window, meaning that it’s sunset.

8:45 pm: Evening Traffic in Zamalek

_MG_3604

I wander out, mostly from sheer boredom, and it’s traffic as usual in Zamalek on a weeknight.  Cars and pedestrians going every which way.

10:06 pm: Dessert before dinner

_MG_3609

One of the students calls to see what I’m up to and invite me to tag along to dinner (they eat late here).  I’m not that hungry, but first we stop in at a local bakery/sweet shop that I’ve frequented since my student days.  They churn out really nice baked goods–baklava, basboussa, kinaffeh–and ice cream as well.

For the record, we didn’t actually eat this stuff until after dinner (the shop was on the way to where we were going).  That would have been totally crazy … *innocent look*

And that was my 12.  How was yours?

The City Victorious

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

I knew I was in trouble when I saw the Ettihad Airways 777 trundling up to the gate ahead of us shortly after we landed at Cairo Airport.  Terminal 2 — referred to in cruel ironic fashion as the “new” airport, even though it is now the oldest and smallest of the three terminals — is notoriously cramped and the arrival of two or three airplanes at once is a sure way to gunk up the works.

It was worse than I expected.  Just down the gangway, where arriving passengers descend to the first floor for customs, a uniformed security official was distributing health declaration forms.  Egypt has had its share of cases of the H1N1 virus, and the country is in full lockdown, beginning with the airport.  The passengers off of the Ettihad flight, arriving from Abu Dhabi in their Hermes headscarves and Dolce and Gabbana thobes clustered around three small podiums filling out the forms (why Egypt, unlike Turkey, seems to be unable to give these forms out on the plane is beyond me), and jamming up the narrow hallway.

Then all 500 of us — for by then the Ettihadis and those off of my flight from Istanbul had been joined by a third flight arriving from Brussels — headed for one of two checkpoints.  The one I found myself waiting for was staffed by a tough woman with henna colored hair sticking out from under her hijab, who pointed a thermal camera at every single passenger, testing for fever.  Of course, by this point, we were all hot, sticky, and sweaty.  Who could tell what was fever?

A bottle-blond behind me tried to smarm her way forward.  “Please,” she said, “My kids are tired.”  By way of emphasis, she gestured to the two children, who seemed to be having fun playing with the stantions.  I considered suggesting the trick would have worked better if she hadn’t waited until she was at the front of the line to try it.  By that point, I was ready to bodily prevent her from getting in front of me.

Apparently fever-free, I stopped in at the Banque Misr, where a bored looking woman took $100 from me, handed me my entry visa, and an amount of money in Egyptian pounds that I’m not sure was correct because she didn’t offer me a receipt.

From there, the line for passport control took another 45 minutes.  Every so often, someone would complain about the wait, and would be set promptly in their place.  But it slowed down the process.  And this is Egypt, where things never run quickly.

The good news is that by the time I got through passport control, my luggage was sitting there waiting for me.

And off I went into the arrivals hall, surrounded by hundreds of anxious people waiting for arriving friends and family, wondering where they were (still in line, most likely).  The usual line of limo company reps popped up out of nowhere like a bad date.  “Taxi?  Where you go?”
“Zamalek.”
“I take you for 80 pounds.”
“EIGHTY?  Are you KIDDING me?  I’ll take a cab.”

I did eventually realize that I wasn’t going to win, as every limo company quoted the same price.  80 pounds to the city center.  Last time, I paid 60 and knew I was getting fleeced.  Back in my day, I would have paid 30.  But it was hot, I was sweaty and tired, and I had no idea where the taxi rank had been moved since Terminal 3 was completed in the parking lot of Terminal 2.

In the back seat of the air conditioned Lexus, I tried to strike up a conversation with the driver, but he wasn’t having it.  Fine with me.  I wasn’t feeling like talking anyway.  I looked out the window and noticed how unlike Turkey Egypt is.  While in Istanbul, several people asked me which I like better, Cairo or Istanbul?  Istanbul’s prettier, that’s for sure.  But there’s something about Egypt …

My room wasn’t ready when I got to the hotel, so I left my bags at reception and decided to go down the street to the supermarket for water and other supplies.  A British lady held the door at the elevator and we rode down together.

“First visit to Egypt?” she asked.
“No,” I said.  “I’ve been here many times.”
“Me too,” she said.  “I just keep coming back.”
“There’s something about it … ” I said.
“Exactly.  It’s chaotic, dirty, and nothing works-”
“-and you miss it the second you leave.”
We stepped out onto the street and bid each other good day.  I walked up the shady sidewalk, taking a moment to appreciate that I’m back in Cairo, a place that is, for better or worse, near and dear to me.

When I got to my room, I opened the drapes and found this:

_MG_3389

Yeah.  I’m hooked.

 

Blog Theme by LJP & SLR Lounge