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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I live in Austin, Texas, with my partner, Ray, and our child dog, Mocha. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘cat’



12 of 12: January 2010

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Howdy, 12 of 12ers!  Happy New Year!  I hope your new year is off to a good start.

12 of 12 is Chad’s idea – all hail Chad.  He claims this is the last year, but maybe if we collectively whine loud enough …

If you’re really into all out geekiness, check out my 365 photo project that I started on January 1!

Anyway …

8:53 am: Kahve Içmek Istiyorum

January2010--1

I’m a late riser today—I’m driving out to San Angelo, Texas, in the afternoon and see no pressing (no pun intended) need to go into the office first thing.  Ray is home, too, as he got laid off last week (more on that if you’re curious).  We’re doing fine – he’s signed up for extra classes this semester, and we’ve got enough to tide us over for a while.  It’s just, y’know, a completely sucky situation.

9:28 am: Today’s Gratuitous Picture of Mocha

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I know better than to try to run a set of 12 without one :)

9:50 am: Packing

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These are the clothes that have been ordained for tomorrow …

11:40 am: Lunch

January2010--4

It’s a buffalo chicken panini from a place that does flatbreads.  Makes a nice break from what we have in the pantry.

12:55 pm: My Nemesis

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This is Chloe.  Chloe is Natalie’s cat.  Chloe has significant disdain for everyone who is not Natalie, and is generally homicidal toward anyone who is not Natalie and also male.  Chloe hates me, and has tried on more than one occasion to kill me.  (It probably has something to do with the fact that Chloe usually sees me when I’m coming to pick Natalie up for a business trip, meaning that I’m the reason that Chloe will be alone for a while.)  If you are a cat person and making, “Oooh, lookattheprettykitty” noises, please know that Chloe will eat you alive if given the chance.

This is her innocent look, which is supposed to lull you into coming close enough for her to pounce.  Don’t let her fool you.

2:45 pm: Pontotoc

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Between Llano (that’s “lan-o” – never mind how it should be pronounced) and Brady on the way to San Angelo is this little ghost-town-in-the-making (seriously: three quarters of the buildings are either derelict or boarded up) called Pontotoc.  It has this little old stone farmhouse that has no roof walls or floor, but it’s always intrigued me, so I stopped to take photos.

January2010--7

This is the view from Pontotoc.

5:12 pm: Hotel Sweet Hotel

January2010--8

Never mind that I had to sit in the lobby while they cleaned my room before I could check in … at 4:30 pm.

5:40 pm: You know you’re in the Bible belt when …

January2010--9

Is it me, or is there something contradictory about it being “Bible” automotive and having computer diagnostics?  Either you’re receiving Divine guidance or you’re not, folks…

5:50 pm: Wine

January2010--10

Happily funding the local economy at San Angelo’s only wine bar.

6:56 pm: Nothing says Mexican food like a smoking Buddha.

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… kinda speaks for itself.

7:06 pm: Dinner

January2010--12

Decor aside, the food at Armandita’s cafe – which is the sort of place you’d probably drive right by without blinking – is good.  How do I know this?  Most of the clientele spoke Spanish.  This is always a good sign for a Mexican restaurant.  Oh, and the handwritten note from Bobby Flay extolling the virtues of the meal he had there helps too (although it does make me wonder what the heck Bobby Flay was doing in San Angelo, Texas.)

… and now I’m in my hotel room editing photos. How was YOUR 12th?

Alan Rickman’s Answering Machine

Sunday, December 20th, 2009

OK, not the life-altering year-end post I was envisioning … that’ll come later.  Ray and I watched Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince last night, and I noticed a couple of things.  First off, the cinematography is gorgeous.  Maybe it was because we’d seen Avatar earlier in the day that I noticed it –the latter is lush and green and tropical, and Half Blood Prince is in muted tones of stone, brown, gray and yellow.  It works.  I was quite surprised to see that the films are growing up along with their characters–it’s not a kid’s movie anymore.

Oh, and, yes,  Avatar is stunning although it’s about 20 minutes too long, and I realized at some point that it is a heavy-handed film with a strong anti-imperialist/anti-colonialist message–you’ve seen that before, but it’s done particularly well (although there was a cluster of “oh, come on” moments right toward the end).

However, the one thing I noticed most of all was that … is it just me, or is Alan Rickman starting to sound more and more like a caricature of himself?  There were points in Half Blood Prince where all I could thing of is this scene from Family Guy:

It’s like Rickman saw this and decided to one-up Seth MacFarlane … and you should never try to one-up Seth MacFarlane.  Because so far, the only person who has managed to do it successfully is Marlee Matlin (if you’re easily offended, you should probably just skip ahead to the 2.42 mark).

And that’s what I’m thinking about today.  Probably wish you didn’t know that, huh?

Den eneste bøsse i landsbyen

Monday, December 14th, 2009

I got my first hit from Greenland today!  (We’ve discussed my inner stats whore earlier, so never mind that creepy bit.)

See, there it is on Mint:

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What on earth brought my Greenlandic visitor to my site?  Well, I click on the little icon and I discover that what’s on the minds of today’s Greenlanders is:

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A la Dr. Evil: Riiiiiight.

I get my first hit from Greenland, and it’s someone looking for gay porn.  Fabulous.

Well, then I got to thinking.  Like most of the rest of the world, what I know about Greenland is as follows: it’s not as big as it looks on maps, being the main victim of distortion put about by the Mercator projection.  It’s ruled by Denmark, as I have known from the fifth grade when we had to research it as a class project after several of us more literate types questioned our teacher when she said it was an independent country while the map in our social studies book clearly labeled it as a possession of Denmark.

Oh, and there’s some sort of asteroid on the west coast that could power the universe if only extraterrestrial worms weren’t eating peoples’ brains.  I got that last by reading Smilla’s Sense of Snow (the book being far, far better than the movie which now airs regularly on Lifetime as part of their court ordered Julia Ormond quota).  I also recall something about Greenland having low humidity (“I’ve been colder in Denmark than I ever have in Greenland”), a high rate of both alcoholism and suicide (has something to do with the long hours of night in the winter–as I recall Smilla’s brother had committed suicide), and Greenlanders being rather resentful of their forced inclusion into the Greater Danish Sphere (Smilla herself being a prime example).

And since I’m sure that author Peter Høeg is an expert on Greenland, this must all be correct…

Nuuk_night

So, I pulled it up on the Interwebz, and I discovered that Nuuk (formerly Godthåb) is one of the smallest capital cities in the world by population–right around 18,000, which comprises one quarter of Greenland’s entire population.

Which leads me to the following thought: no wonder my Greenlandic visitor was seeking out gay porn on the Internet.  The most accessible gay bar is in Copenhagen–six hours away by plane (among my other random knowledge is that it is far, far easier to fly from Greenland to Denmark than to either Canada or the U.S., even though they’re closer).  Can you imagine what it must be like trying to find a date on a Friday night?

One can imagine the drama that would ensue in the small dating pool: everyone knows everyone else’s business, that’s for sure.  Plus, it’s that part of the year when there are a scant few hours of daylight.  Who wouldn’t want to hang around the house and surf the Interwebz?

Nuuk_snow

Sure offers a new lens to the concept of being the only gay in the village, don’t it?  (BTW, the title of the post is “the only gay in the village” rendered into Danish by Google translate, and I’d be happy to change it if a real Dane happens by and wants to correct it … )

*photos by Peter Løvstrøm.  Used under a Creative Commons Attribution license.

12 of 12: December 2009

Saturday, December 12th, 2009

I was a bit stunned to realize that it’s December already!  Winter has moved in somewhat, as evidenced by the blizzard we got a week ago down here in the ATX, but listening to NPR, I was shocked by the realization that it’s only been a year since Bernard Madoff entered the lexicon – indeed, it’s only been a year since the word “bailout” was introduced as well.

Does that mean it’s been a long year?  Or a short one?

This is my 11th 12 of 12 for the year—my perfect record was ruined because I didn’t manage to do one in October (it would, frankly, have sent me ‘round the bend).  Bah.

9:41 am: Coffee

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Cafe Yaucono, imported personally by yours truly from Puerto Rico, where they know what coffee is supposed to taste like.  (I brought back five pounds of the stuff and vacuum packed it).  Cafe Yaucono was chosen as the unanimous favorite by five out of five supermarket employees quizzed by yours truly as they walked by and were asked, “Cual de estos cafes es lo mejor?”

10:20 am: Time to make the jelly

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As I lamented the other day, shortly before the hard freeze that hit last weekend, I ran out to salvage what was left of the crop off of the chili and pepper plants that started to produce again in October.  What this did was stick me with a half pound of habanero chilis, which are ridiculously hot – most salsas that use them call for half a chili, whereas I had over 30 to do something with. While I like to make my own salsa, the prospect of using all thirty up half a chili at a time was not one that I found attractive.

My Facebook pal Claire – haven’t seen her since high school, but that’s the beauty of Facebook – found a solution online in the form of a recipe for cranberry habanero jelly.  Over the years, one of the taste combinations that I’ve grown to love is spicy/sweet.  Not coincidentally, I’m a big fan of the locally produced raspberry-chipotle sauce, and its cousins that combine mango, ginger and habaneros, and peaches and habaneros.  Problem is, when peach season hit (and it hits nicely in the Texas Hill Country – you can buy a bushel at a roadside stand very cheaply), I had no habaneros.  Now that I have habaneros, the peaches are out of season.  Cranberries are a nice, seasonal alternate.

10:58 am: Simmer down now

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Admit it.  You’ve always wanted to see what a slurry of 3 cups of white vinegar, two cups of seeded, diced habaneros, three cups of diced red bell pepper, and a cup each of fresh and dried cranberries looks like when it’s simmering in a pot.

11:11 am: My Smart Stick is Smarter than your Disco Stick

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I don’t use my immersion blender nearly enough.  This was right before I added the 14 cups of sugar.

11:30 am: A Wet Dog is an Unhappy Dog

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I know I’ve mentioned this before, but Mocha hates water and getting wet.  But she smelled, so it was time for a bath, which involved much sulking.

11:57 am: An Unhappy Dog is a Sulky Dog

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Not to toot my own horn, but this may be the best photo I’ve ever taken of Mocha.

12:17 pm: The haul

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Back at the stove, with the fruit pectin mixed in and the jelly all ladled out into individual jars.  It’s heavy on the spicy, that’s for sure.  I bought a bunch of small jars that will be used as office gifts.

12:54 pm: Boil, dammit

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It took forever for the water to come to a boil so that I could start sealing the jars.  What they say about watched pots is true.

3:20 pm: Can we go now?

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Lunch and a couple of shows on the DVR later, Mocha starts getting a little restless because it’s time for her W-A-L-K, and she’s not going to let us forget it.

7:51 pm: At the Cajun Christmas Party

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Ray’s coworker Elisa throws a Cajun Christmas party every year, ‘cos she’s a born and bred Louisiana girl.  And let’s be honest: Etouffe is just another way of saying “in lots of butter.”  There’s absolutely no bad there.

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For much of the evening, I was seated in front of the rum cake and other desserts.  I was very good … although the yogurt coated pretzels did prove to be my weakness.  Whatevs.  I just won’t eat tomorrow.

10:07 pm: Homeward Bound

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I don’t know why it is that I like playing with long exposures when I’ve been drinking (this one was a 2 second exposure … and, no, I wasn’t driving – give me some credit), but I do.  I think it matches my state of mind.

And that was MY 12th.  How was yours?

Confessions of an Arabic Learner

Friday, December 11th, 2009

The other day whilst trying to set up an appointment to discuss a project with our associate chair, she mentioned casually that she couldn’t meet one afternoon because she was supposed to be on Wisconsin Public Radio.

“Really?  Why?”
“I’m … not actually sure,” she said.  “They want to talk about learning Arabic?”

Well, the interview is now online, and it’s quite the doozy.  For those not inclined to listen to the whole 54 minutes, the first five will do it — it’s long enough to establish the following:

  1. The woman doing the interview is a complete idiot.
  2. The woman doing the interview did absolutely no research on how to pronounce the name of the book that she’s supposedly basing the entire interview around (“Al-Kitaab fi ta’alum al-’arabiyya” — she shortens it to “Al-Kitaab,” which means “the book” and would be pronounced as a mashup of the two common English words “kit” and “tab” as they are pronounced by Americans.  Not only can she not do this, she actually changes the way she pronounces it over the course of the hour several times).
  3. The woman doing the interview clearly did not ask one of her interviewees, Mahmoud al-Batal, how to pronounce his name, as she consistently pronounces it wrong (and, again, her pronunciation changes over the course of the hour) — which, I’m sorry, is a horribly egregious error.  I’ve had people make sure they’re pronouncing MY name correctly before, and my name is pretty damned easy.
  4. The goal of the interview is to make learning Arabic sound as difficult as humanly possible.  Whether this was the stated goal or not, I don’t know, but I was alternately amused and astonished by her inability to move beyond the fact that Arabic is read and written from right-to-left (and also to find out exactly why this is — including, if possible, assigning personal blame for it).

My favorite part of the hour is that you can practically hear the two interviewees looking at each other and trying to nonverbally work out how to respond without calling the interviewer a complete moron.

Anyway, for those who are so inclined, here are some reflections about learning Arabic that I’d like to share.  This is based not only on my knee jerk reaction to this interview, but from the 16 years of experience I’ve had being a white guy learning and speaking Arabic and responding to  questions from those who do not.

Things that are not actually difficult about learning Arabic as a foreign language.

1. The alphabet (more correctly in this case, it’s an abjad).  Arabic has an actual alphabet.  Each letter stands for a specific consonant sound.  It’s not written in characters.  Once you learn the alphabet–which took about three weeks when I started, but that’s because Arabic 101 only met twice a week–it’s a non-issue, and you don’t have to revisit it ever again unless you decide to take up a language that uses the same alphabet but has more letters (Persian, Urdu, and Malaysian, for example), in which case you’ll have to learn the new letters.  It’s really not that hard.

2. Arabic is always written in cursive — even when it’s printed or typed.  It was bewildering the first time that my Arabic instructor, having taught us the letters a, l, k, t, and b (ا ل ك ت ب) put them all together to form “alktab” (al-kitaab, الكتاب), “the book”.  You stare at it for about 10 seconds, and then it clicks.  By the end of the first class of 101, this is not an issue anymore.  I’ve done this with 6th graders.  They can get it.  It’s really not that hard.

Explaining this to Hollywood, on the other hand, is another story.  I’ve lost count of the number of times that I’ve seen Arabic text in the background that doesn’t connect — which, frankly, renders the text unreadable.  Most recently, some characters on the show “FlashForward” traveled to Hong Kong looking for Shohreh Aghdashloo (who must be desperate for work), and stopped by an Iranian restaurant she was known to frequent.  The restaurant’s sign was in English and Persian (written with the Arabic alphabet) … and the Persian letters didn’t connect.

I also once saw improperly formed Arabic tatooed on a guy in a Sean Cody video.  Poor guy.

3. Sounds that aren’t in English. Once you learn how to say them properly, you get over it.  However, contrary to popular belief, there are actually four H sounds in Arabic, and only one of them sounds like forming a spit ball.  The alphabet is fully phonetic — every letter has one sound.  And it’s always the same sound.  Unlike English.  Contemplate, if you will, the utter uselessness of the letters c and x sometime — both simply replicate sounds produced by other letters — x has no unique functions (it can be represented as “eks”), and c’s only unique function is in the syllable “ch” as in “choose”.  K and q aren’t as differentiated as they ought to be — as in, for example, the Arabic ك  and ق

4. Reading and writing from right to left. Although our interviewer gets hung up on this, it’s probably the biggest non-issue of them all.  It just is.

5. The lack of a “be” verb. There is no verb “to be” in Arabic (it’s a Semitic language quirk — there isn’t one in Hebrew, either).  “be” is implied.  To say you’re a student, you say, انا طالب, which is literally “I student.”  The “am” is implied.

Things that are more difficult about learning Arabic as a foreign language.

1. The non-writing of vowels. Like every other Semitic language out there (except, apparently, Amharic, which at some point gave in), along with a number of other languages that use abjads, vowels — specifically short vowels — are not written.  Normally this isn’t such a problem, however, to continue with our example, let’s look at ktb — كتب.  It could be “kutub” (books), it could be “kataba” (he wrote), or it could be “kutiba” (it was written).  You have to figure it out from context, which is a bit of an advanced skill.

2. The lack of cognates with English. The running joke when learning Spanish is that you can add “o” to the end of an English word and make it a Spanish word.  It’s usually not true, but it’s based on the number of cognates between the two languages — words that are similar enough in form and meaning that speakers of one can understand the other.  In Arabic, however, you can’t add “al-” to the front of an English word and make it correct — it’s kind of a crutch that the non-fluent but advanced speakers can use when speaking to a bilingual crowd so as not to break stride — I’ve thrown English words in when I don’t know the Arabic ones — but it doesn’t work in casual conversation.  The only cognates you’re likely to find are ones that were English to begin with: al-internet.  al-kumbyootir.  ad-dimuqraasiya. at-tiknuluujiya.

3. The lack of a “be” verb.  Where the lack of the be verb gets tricky is in the way the language has compensated for it — while there is not a verb for “to be,” there IS what my first Arabic instructor went to very great pains to make sure that we all understood was definitely NOT a verb for “to not be.”  Similarly, there is a not-verb for “to have been.”  Never mind that both look, smell, sound, and function like verbs in every other way, except, of course, for the fact that they’re not verbs.  Dammit.

4. There are no irregular verbs in Arabic. There are 500 regular verbal patterns, 495 of which only apply to one verb each.

5. Broken plurals. Similarly, there are lots of patterns for pluralizing words … and many of them are really irregular.  Grad students like to sit around and make up broken plurals for English to amuse themselves, which is how we decided a few years ago that the plural of “Bi-otch” is “Bowatchaa’”

6. Diglossia.  This is probably the biggest challenge for the learner of Arabic as a foreign language.  “Arabic” — the language that is taught in a classroom, is often Modern Standard Arabic, a constructed high language based on the language of the Qur’an (but not necessarily mutually intelligible with it).  It is grammatically rigid, nuanced, and eloquent.  It is not, however, what people speak in their daily lives.  Countries, regions, cities all have their own dialects that are based on MSA, but have been influenced over the centuries by other factors.

The Egyptian dialect–the one I’m the most familiar with–contains both words of Turkish origin (from the four centuries of Ottoman rule) as well as words of Coptic origin (Coptic is the language of the Egyptian Christian church, and is descended from the ancient Egyptian language).  In fact, I have a book on my shelf that outlines the number of words in Egyptian Arabic that can be traced back to the days of the pharaohs.  The Moroccan dialect, by contrast, contains a lot of words that haven’t been used since the medieval period in other parts of the Arab world, as well as a lot of Berber and French.

When I first arrived in Egypt as an undergrad, I had two years of Modern Standard under my belt and found myself unable to communicate with another living soul.  Those who could speak Modern Standard usually tired of hearing me struggle and would switch to English, which they usually spoke better than I could speak Arabic.

New textbooks now introduce dialect early on — as well they should.  I couldn’t even agree with people — I’d been taught to use the formal na’am, while most people in the eastern Mediterranean actually say aywa.

A few thoughts to throw out there — Arabic is definitely a challenging language, but the things that most people get hung up on aren’t even an issue.  Get over the squiggly letters and the right-to-left, oh interviewers of the world!

And, for God’s sake, quite trying to figure out whose fault it is … yeesh.

 

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