Friday was another one of my use-it-or-lose-it days off from work (actually, I don’t lose them: anything in excess of a pre-set maximum number of vacation hours converts to sick time at the end of the year. The problem is that at this point I could be out sick for seven months — but I need a doctor’s note after the third day. )

So, I sat around on me’ bum for a while and got slaughtered on the latest level of Ratchet and Clank (sewer monsters … ugh). And then I hauled my fat posterior to the grocery store so that I could fill my prescriptions and pick up items — I do love the wide variety of products our grocery store offers, it’s just impossible to navigate on weekends or evenings. The pharmacist told me that it was going to take at least 30 minutes to fill my prescription, so I grabbed a shopping cart and wandered through produce … and then it happened.

I saw the celestial light beaming down from the heavens onto a display of green, pointy goodness.

Yes, that’s right, my children: the hatch chilies are coming into season!!!

Hatch chilies are one of the New Mexico chile specialties. They’re named for the town around which they are most commonly grown and range from mild to spicy to blow-your-head-off-hot. They come into season around Labor Day (American Labor Day) and our grocery chain usually sells them in massive quantities.

In fact, as I was greedily stuffing the first of what would be four bursting-at-the-seams produce bags with the chilies, a woman came along and picked up an entire box of them and put it in her cart.

Me: “And I thought I was excited that they were in season … ”

After I went to New Mexico and saw all of the practical applications of green-chile based products, I decided that when the hatch chilies came out this year that I would buy in bulk and make salsas and green chile sauce and store it for the rest of the year.

So, eight pounds of chilies, four pounds of tomatillos, two pounds of tomatoes, four cloves of garlic, and a bunch of cilantro later I left the store with my new weekend project.

And so, Saturday was Salsa Day.

Hatch Green Chile Salsa

And here’s how I did it.

Step 1: Remove the gay basil plant from my work area:

As you can see, he’s getting pretty big. He also enjoys being outside more often, but still screams loud and clear whenever he wants to come inside or if he’s not getting enough water. He is such a drama queen.

Step 2: Prep the grill for chile roasting:

OK, so you’ll notice that I’ve lined the grill with aluminum foil. The temperature on our grill is hard to control, and the first batch of chilies that I roasted burned so badly that in several cases not only did the skin blister (which is good) but the flesh underneath charred (which is bad). This actually worked out better for me.

Step 3: Load up the chilies:

OK, so this is how I did it. New Mexican roast chile enthusiasts will probably have a heart attack reading this bit, but WAH.

Hot chilies on the right, mild on the left. Grill on hot, indirect heat, for about ten minutes. At this point, the parts of the chilies that were in contact with the foil were black and blistery (I didn’t take pictures – my hands got a little messy for camera holding). I turned them over, let them roast another couple of minutes and then turned the grill off without opening the cover. I let them sit for another five minutes, then unloaded all of the chilies into a stock pot and covered it with plastic wrap:

The trick here, children, is to wait until the chilies are completely cooled down. This may take a while, but if you’re patient, the skins will slide off like a jacket. Trust me on this one: no matter how easy you think the skins are coming off while they’re still warm, it’s nothing compared to how easy it will be once they’ve completely cooled.

If there are any chilies that are being a bit resistant or their skins haven’t loosened enough, you can steam them for a couple of minutes and let them cool.

Step 4: Peel the Tomatillos

Despite their name, tomatillos aren’t actually green tomatoes, nor are they related to tomatoes at all. They’re actually relatives of the gooseberry. Bet you didn’t know that, did ya?

Anyway, when you get a batch of fresh tomatillos, you’ve got to remove the husks and wash off the sticky stuff underneath.

For salsa, you really want to roast the garlic (not pictured: wrap a head of garlic in aluminum foil and put it in the oven or grill for 30 minutes), tomatoes and tomatillos.

I prefer to start out on indirect heat — if they need to be blackened, I’ll move them over to direct heat at the end. On indirect heat, let them sit for at least half an hour. The skins on the tomatoes should be splitting and the tomatillos should have ‘muddied’ their color a little bit – they’re the color of ripe green apples raw, they should look a little more like spoiled green apples (in color only!) when roasted:

Step 5: Time to make the salsa!

OK, here’s how you do it:

• 8 green chilies (hatch are preferable, otherwise generic New Mexico green chilies. If those aren’t available you can use eight anaheim chilies plus two jalapeños, roasted as above.) The chilies should be roasted, peeled, and have the stems, seeds, and ribs removed.
• 4 tomatoes, roasted, with the skins removed.
• 5 tomatillos (about half a pound), roasted.
• 1-2 cloves roasted garlic (to taste – I love garlic)
• 1/2 white onion, peeled, quartered, and roasted in a dry pan
• 2 tablespoons (i.e., a decent sized sprig) cilantro
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 1 tsp cumin

Stick it all in a blender and puree until nice and smooth.

Step 6: Chill and enjoy!

I always find that the salsa needs time for the flavors to mingle – plus, a good number of the ingredients are likely still warm. Put the salsa in the fridge until cool or overnight before serving.

Step 7: Realize that you’ve spent so much time making salsa that you forgot to get anything ready for dinner. Order a pizza.

And I hope your weekends were salsa-riffic!