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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I\'m an opinionated, snarky, gay academic with a predilection for the history, the Arab world, languages, photography, food, and music. I live in Austin, Texas. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘coffee’



Cuh-Cuh-Cuh-Clusterfuck

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Note: names have been changed to protect those in need of protecting from my foot up their ass.

Howdy, y’all!

I’m currently in a hotel room right underneath the flight pattern from the active takeoff runway at Houston Intercontinental Airport (Continental’s 777 bound for London went over a little while back — boy, was she noisy!).

Today was not a good day.  In fact, today was the sort of day that the term “clusterfuck” was invented to describe.  I’m over it now, but first … first I’m going to blog about it :twisted:

(more…)

Great start to the day.

Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Well, let’s see.  I’ve been at work for an hour now, and I’m ready to go home.

  • It’s raining this morning.  As usual for Texas, we are going directly from a three year drought immediately into flood stage with no in-between.  The worst part about the rain is that no one in Austin can drive in it, so it took much longer than usual to get to work.
  • I arrive at the office and boot up my e-mail.  The person to whom I sent a detailed message yesterday morning and somewhat urgently need a response from has, of course, not responded.  Am currently wondering how long I should wait before sending a second message.  Maybe he’s busy, but he knew the message was coming and that I needed the info.  I’ll wait till lunchtime.
  • The person to whom I have already told that I do not have information of the sort that she is seeking has now sent me a third message requesting the same information.  Since my previous response of “I don’t have this information” was clearly not clear enough, I am currently wondering if profanity would be helpful or just make me feel better.
  • I got yet another message from a colleague reminding me that my contribution to a joint project is due next week and stressing that her schedule is very tight and she only has a limited time to work on the project, so it’s very important for me to turn it in on time.  This is the same colleague who, when we worked on our last joint project, turned in her contribution NINE MONTHS late, saying, “Well, all you have to do is lay it out.  That doesn’t take very long, does it?”  I know already that turning that around on her would be childish and that it wouldn’t actually have the desired effect of demonstrating what a bother it is, but … man, there’s a part of me that really wants to.
  • We’re out of creamer in the kitchen.  I “borrowed” a dollop of someone’s soy milk.  (Rule is: if you don’t want other people using your stuff in the fridge, put your name on it.)  Soy milk does not work well as creamer in coffee.  I’m just putting it out there.  I was, however, considerate and didn’t use my co-worker’s chopstick to stir my coffee today.  (Hey, it’s lacquered and I wash it off with soap.  Don’t give me that look.)
  • I then proceeded to spill a good portion of said coffee on myself, in the general area of my crotch.  Fortunately, I’m wearing khakis so once it’s dry you’d really have to look to see it, but it’s just sort of the icing on the cake, y’know?

Can’t wait to see what’s coming next … I’ve still got that meeting coming up where my boss micromanages my assistant!

Can I go home now?

12 of 12: January 2009

Monday, January 12th, 2009

12 of 12 was Chad’s idea.  All Hail Chad!

This first 12 of 2009, I find myself in Seoul, South Korea, with my partner Ray and my parents, where we’re visiting my brother who lives here.  We’ve been here almost a week, and so far there have been no injuries or altercations, and everyone is still alive!

9:11 am: Home Sweet Hotel

Jan09-1

Space isn’t at quite the same premium in Korea that it is in Japan, which is not to say that our hotel room is palatial.  Not with the amount of clothing we brought to ward off the cold (and it is cold y’all – yesterday the high was -10 C (around 15 F).  Today was considerably warmer … it got up to -3), and with the tendency toward shopping in markets that Ray and I have.

9:30 am: Coffee and a bagel

Jan09-2

I’m not sure why, but waffles and bagels are all the rage in Seoul.  You can’t go a block without tripping over another coffee-and-waffle/bagel joint.  This one is half a block from our hotel and the four of us can eat for under 20,000 won (roughly $18), which is the cost for a single person at the hotel.  The young lady behind the counter speaks decent English, too, which is a plus because none of the four of us speak Korean.  I’ve made a decent stab at learning part of the alphabet, but … well, let’s just say I can say “hello” and “thank you” and that’s about it.

11:06 am: Seoul Metro

Jan09-3

Kind of a late start today.  We’re off to visit my brother’s school.  He was able to take most of the time that we’re here off, but he had to work this morning so we arranged to come by and see the facility and go from there.

11:37 am: Conveyor Belt Sushi

Jan09-4

We all have our different interests when we travel.  Mom wanted to go by a supermarket just to see what local products are carried.  My brother’s school is in a district called Apugjeong, which our guidebook describes as “the Beverly Hills of Seoul.”  We wound up in the food hall at the Hyundai Supermarket, which I think is a bit like going to the food hall at Harrod’s in Knightsbridge.  It may serve the same function as a supermarket, but the similarity ends there.  Anyway, they had one of these little sushi counters with the conveyor belt, and I couldn’t help making a picture.

12:19 pm: Showing off to Mom

Jan09-5

At the school where my brother works.  Here he’s showing the rosters to mom.  (And, I know it’s probably not PC to point this out, but in case you’re wondering if this is the right photo: my brother was adopted, so, no, there’s no family resemblance, although we did manage to warp him nice and good anyway).

2:09 pm: Shopping!!!

Jan09-6

The pamphlet that the Seoul Tourism Board gives out describes Namdaemun market as “the most vibrant market in all of Asia.”  I question that (I guess technically the Grand Bazaar in Istanbul is on the European side, but I’m pretty sure there’s a few vibrant ones in India and Malaysia and Dubai and … )

But you can purchase pickled ginseng …

Jan09-7

… or all of your Korean dream hunks paraphernalia!

Jan09-8

5:37 pm: Pre-show drink

Jan09-9

Ray and I did pretty well where shopping is concerned.  My brother had made reservations for us at a place called Korea House, which does a traditional Korean meal followed by traditional cultural performance.  Basically, they combine a number of different things together into one show and give you about 10 minutes of each, so that just when you’ve had enough of one, it’s over.  Nice thinking, that.  We stopped in for a drink beforehand.  Hite is a local beer.  It’s cheap, but other than that there’s nothing to recommend it.

6:35 pm: All the pickled stuff you can eat

Jan09-10

8:09 pm: With the performers at Korea House

Jan09-11

Some of my best photos have been taken during cultural performances, but they don’t allow photography at Korea House during the show.  Rats.  Anyway, here’s Ray, Grace (my sister-in-law, for lack of a better term), my brother Lee, and me with some of the girls from the show.

8:34 pm: Seoul Metro

Jan09-12

Heading home.  Tomorrow is an early day for us, as we’re heading to Suwon, one of the suburbs, where there’s a “folk village” and an old fortress.  It’s also supposed to heat up to 0 degrees C (32 F), so we’re gonna break out the suntan lotion!

Happy 12th!

Coffee and Donuts

Thursday, December 18th, 2008

Call me a spoilsport, but as my office has grown larger, I’ve become somewhat more resistant to the idea of office holiday gifts. (Yes, in my office the appropriate term actually IS “Happy Holidays” as we’ve got all three of the Abrahamic faiths represented among the staff, and one Buddhist.) It’s not that I mind the idea of giving a token something to everyone, but there comes a point at which a $2 gift, multiplied over several staff members, becomes a considerable chunk of change.

So, this morning, my very weak replacement was to pick up a box of “munchkins” from the new Dunkin Donuts on the way to Bev’s house (does anyone remember when these were called “donut holes”? When did they change the name?). Bev, Lisa and I sat in the reading room and had donuts and coffee this morning, and that was kind of my holiday offering.

The problem, as I discovered fairly quickly, is that donuts are pure sugar, and, combined with the caffeine, about an hour later I suddenly realized that I couldn’t type because I was so jumpy that I kept hitting the wrong keys. It was still better than the subsequent caffeine/sugar crash that followed shortly thereafter, at which point I wondered if anyone would notice if I took a nap and … jeez, were my pants this tight when I left the house this morning?

That’s the other problem with Christmas, Hanukkah, and the entire month of Ramadan. Every one of them is associated with sickly sweet desserts that are in no way good for you. (Yep, you read that right: what do you think Muslims do all night after they fast all day? The number of people I know who put on weight during Ramadan might surprise you.)

Anyway.

While I’m on the food tip, I have to share the following excerpt from a blog that I won’t name that covers local stuff here in Austin. They visited the Ethiopian restaurant in town, and I found myself reading their review with the same sort of horror that Shin seems to feel whenever he grades freshman composition assignments. To whit:

If you’ve never had it, Ethiopian food is a little like Indian food, but different enough to make it a nice alternative.

For the record, if you’ve never had it, let me explain: Ethiopian food is a little like Indian food in that neither is American food, and both will blow the top of your head off if you don’t know what you’re doing. Past that, the similarities pretty much come to a screeching halt. I do enjoy me some Ethiopian food (and, lamentably, do not terribly care for the restaurant covered in the review). In fact, I garnered a bit of attention when I mentioned it in this very blog and it got picked up in a DC blog and … well, they called me a tourist, but I’ll get over it.

Anyway. All this talk of food is making me ponder lunch. The only things open in the Union are Wendy’s and Taco Bell, and I can’t take the thought of either. On the other hand, I may have had enough calories for one day!

At My Funeral

Monday, December 15th, 2008

I know it’s probably a bit weird to think about your own funeral. In my case, this is doubly so given that I haven’t yet quite accepted the fact that I’m not going to live forever, a la AbFab (“Eddy, you remember how you said you were going to die?” “I might not be now. I’m looking into it.”)

On the other hand, I find it hard to attend someone else’s funeral and not think about whether or not this is the kind of service that I’d want for myself. BJ’s funeral was Saturday, and as religious services go, it was quite nice. I particularly enjoyed that the closing hymn was “We Shall Overcome,” since it sort of encompassed her life’s work quite nicely.

I started blabbing about this the other night in a drunken stupor, and Ray told me I was being morbid, and maybe I am, but it’s a good blog topic. (Especially for Christmastime!) After all, who didn’t have the discussion with their partner or spouse or loved ones during the whole Terry Schiavo affair? For the record: don’t keep me plugged in. And I certainly hope that everyone knows me well enough to know that bringing Jesus into the conversation would just piss me off.

I also made the decision that I want to be cremated after going to a viewing for the husband of a longtime coworker of mine. I’d never met him in life, but I walked into the viewing area, looked in the coffin and thought–God help me–This is the most unnatural thing I’ve ever seen in my life. He looks like a giant block of tofu. I don’t want them to do this to me.

After the service for BJ on Saturday, some of us were reflecting that the nicest moments were when people were telling stories about her. I like that aspect, and I’ve long suspected that I don’t really want a funeral at all. I want a cocktail party.

I don’t believe that, if there is an afterlife, you can’t get in until certain magic rituals and prayers have been said over your body. I just can’t buy that it works that way. Especially for someone like BJ. I do not see her putting up with the celestial passport control officer informing her that, “I’m sorry ma’am, but your visa hasn’t been approved yet. They haven’t said mass for you. Have a seat in the transit lounge. There’s coffee and TVs, but they’re all tuned to the CNN Airport Network.”

I’d much rather that the urn with my ashes be placed next to photos of me (which I will have to personally approve first, naturally), and people have a good time. Tell stories. Does someone really need to recite selected readings from the Bible? Sure. But I’ll pick the passages. And just to keep everyone on their toes, I may toss in a couple from the Qur’an, the Baghavad Gita, and Tales from the City, too. After all, if the passage speaks to one, why not? Isn’t that what’s important? I’d be much happier thinking that people will remember me with fondness and think to themselves, “I kinda want this when I go.” I’d be horrified to think that people will gather, be forced to sit in hard wooden pews, and spend the entire time looking at watches and wondering if there will be booze at the reception afterward.

So there you have it. Like I said, maybe it’s morbid to think about this stuff (Ray did seem a bit horrified), but life is short, and we all know that this is one of those things that no one likes talking about, especially me.

The next post will be all about something completely trivial, I promise!

 

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