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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I\'m an opinionated, snarky, gay academic with a predilection for the history, the Arab world, languages, photography, food, and music. I live in Austin, Texas. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘government’



Still can’t get the hang of Tuesdays

Tuesday, April 7th, 2009

There’s something in the stars today: they’re not aligned properly.  Everyone I know is having one of those days.  Myself, I don’t seem to be able to keep my attention on any given task for longer than about thirty seconds.

Then, there’s this.

I’m taking a group to Turkey at the very end of June (no, you can’t come).  I’ve sort of been neglecting them lately, and I had a couple of housekeeping things to take care of, so I composed a quick message that said:

Two things.

1. I need you to fill out this form and return it to me along with a copy of a government-issued photo ID.

2. We’re having a meeting with the co-organizers on Saturday, April 25.

Other business-y things, blah blah blah.

So, I send the message and, of course, realize immediately that I need to re-send the message because I forgot to attach the form in question.  So, I re-send it with a “Jeez, sorry, forgot to include the form,” type message.

Mid-morning, I’m walking with my assistant, who is the processor of all paperwork, and I mentioned realizing at 2 am that I needed to collect the form from everyone, which prompted the message in the first place.

“No, you don’t,” she said.
“I don’t?”
“How are you paying for the travel?”
“The travel agent is going to direct-bill it.”
“Yeah, as long as you’re not paying money out to them directly, you don’t need that form.”
“Well, Hallelujah,” says I, because collecting forms is a pain.

So, I send e-mail #3: “I’ve just been told that the regulations have changed and I won’t need that form after all [oh, please, like you never tell white lies].  Disregard that part of the message.”

I move on to other things–badly, since I still can’t keep my mind focused–and, lo and behold, around 11:15 my phone rings.  It’s a campus extension I don’t recognize.  I pick up the phone, and it’s our co-organizers, calling to ask if we can move the meeting to Sunday.

I could have waited until tomorrow morning, but at this point, I already look like a complete idiot, so why not send it now?

Four e-mails.  Each one contradicting the last.  And the worst part is, I really do know what I’m doing.  Honest.

I hate Tuesdays.

The Queen Boat, Reconsidered

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

It’s been quite a while since I’ve written one of my long boring posts, so if you don’t like them, well, I’m sorry.

We had a guest lecturer on campus yesterday who got me thinking (which I am wont to do from time to time) about stuff I haven’t thought about in quite a while.  I’m not going to use his name because he made himself a bit infamous for reasons that have nothing to do with the talk he gave, and I don’t want people stumbling across my blog by seeking him out in Google.  If his topic sounds interesting, e-mail me and I’ll point you in the direction of his article.

The gist of his talk is something to the following effect: he argues that what he calls a “sexual binary”–namely that one must either identify as hetero- or homosexual–is a western notion that is being imposed on the rest of the world.  If this sounds post-colonialist, you’re not wrong (if you don’t know what post-colonialism is, don’t worry about it — I’m only passingly familiar with it as I think the concept that your thoughts have to be limited by a school of thought is kind of stupid).

His specialization is the Arab World, and his particular grief is that the West is imposing this sexual binary on the Arab World when human rights groups, NGOs, etc., identify a certain subset of the populace as gay or lesbian, even when those people may not identify as gay themselves.

For the record, I started having problems with this guy’s talk when he contradicted himself by suggesting that Arabs have learned the concept of being exclusively “gay” or “lesbian” from the West, but then later said that he knows there are Arabs who do identify as gay or lesbian and that’s OK.

Now, he’s not one of these guys suggesting that homosexuality is a western disease and that it’s an unnatural behavior learned from the West — what he’s saying is that in a good chunk of the world, sexuality is more polymorphous than a simple binary.  Men who are married to women and have children also have sex with men, for example, and that these societies have constructed space to allow this behavior.  What he’s arguing is that the insistence from outside that these people be recognized as “gay” and given rights that they’re not asking for is actually causing more harm than good.

And then he brought up the example of the Queen Boat.  The story is recapped as follows: in May 2001, police raided a nightclub in Cairo (the Queen Boat — it was one of the nightclubs that’s on a large boat that goes out for a two or three hour cruise on the Nile that are popular among tourists and Egyptians alike) that was a reputed gay hangout.  52 men were arrested and charged with debauchery (there being no law against gay sex in Egypt), and the trials spanned over months.

Several international gay rights organizations picked up the banner and pressured western embassies to take up the cause of Egypt’s “repression of homosexuality.”  The western gay press ran stories about “Egypt’s Stonewall.”

The problem was this: none of the men arrested identified themselves as gay, even under allegations of torture.  The gay press attributed this to a long-standing social stigma against homosexuality, but Our Speaker suggested another explanation: none of the men actually considered themselves gay.  Many, in fact most of them were married and had children.  Instead of being Egypt’s Stonewall, it was a trial that went nowhere, and with the exception of two men who’ve been in jail for years, most of them were free within a couple of months, badly embarrassed at having been accused of “licentious behavior.”  Several of them have since emigrated from Egypt (with wives and children).

Our Speaker argued that the international attention did more harm than good–Egypt at the time had no law against homosexual acts.  Parliament is now considering them, however, in response to the Queen Boat incident.

I was trying to digest all of this–I think he’s got a point, although I think there are problems with his analysis–when a friend of mine, an Egyptian doctoral candidate in history, raised her hand and made a counterpoint that I’d been waiting for.  The Egyptian government was, at the time, facing rising opposition from Islamist parties who were accusing the government of being corrupt and amoral, and were holding themselves to be the protectors of virtue.  Shortly thereafter, the Egyptian government sanctions a raid on a well-known gay nightclub that’s been operating for years and charges everyone on board with amoral behavior.  Coincidence?  She doesn’t think so, and neither do I.

Another example our speaker brought up was the novel/film ‘Omaret Ya’qubian (The Yacoubian Building), which was very popular the last time I was in Cairo in 2006.  Among the characters in the novel–which is a sort of Egyptian Peyton Place, following the lives of the inhabitants of an apartment building in downtown Cairo–is the self-identified homosexual character Hatem, who engages in a relationship with a Nubian soldier, Abed Rabbo.

Our Speaker argued that the novel is essentially Islamist in tone, even though the author clearly thinks he’s being very sophisticated.  Hatem, who lives alone and is the passive partner in the relationship (read: “bottom”) is identified as شاظ “shadh” (or “shaz,” as the Egyptians would pronounce it) which means deviant or pervert, but is also common street slang for gay.  (I started to have problems with his talk around this point, because he was saying that the book was mistranslated into English because shaz used to only mean “deviant” in a much broader sense, even though now anyone who reads the book would read it as “homosexual,” which the author is on record as having said is what he meant).

Abed Rabbo, on the other hand, is married and has a son, and is never identified as a shaz.  (Abed Rabbo later murders Hatem … well, it’s complicated).  Hence, Our Speaker puts forward the suggestion that the behaviour is only deviant because Hatem has sex exclusively with men, and exclusively in the passive role, for which he is “punished” with death at the end of the novel.

Again, he kind of has a point here, although I kind of think that Our Speaker would do well to review, for example, The Celluloid Closet for examples of early gay and lesbian characters in film, who almost always met a tragic end.  One of the explanations of this is that it helped anyone in the audience who was having conflicted issues about feeling sympathetic toward the gay character feel better when he or she “got what they deserved.”  Indeed, audiences who watched the film version of The Yacoubian Building were reputed to cheer Hatem’s death, even if they had been sobbing moments earlier when Abed Rabbo’s son took ill and died.

And then this got me thinking about Prop 8.  I know, it’s kind of crazy that thinking about the tenuous relationship between Islam and homosexuality in Egypt might have gotten me thinking about Prop 8 and the enormous backlash against the Mormons for funding it.  Believe me, I’m all for holding the church accountable for their part–but Californians actually voted for it.  I find it interesting (anthropologically speaking) that someone could stand in the election booth and vote for Barack Obama, arguably one of the most liberal Democrats to run for office in years, on the one hand while voting for Prop 8 on the other and see no contradiction.

What, I wonder, was the tipping point?  I don’t believe that it’s as simple as “the Mormons poured a bunch of money into the campaign and that’s why it passed” (note to Michael: I’m not saying that I don’t think it’s A reason, I’m saying that I don’t think it’s the ONLY reason.)

I don’t have answers to this, I’m merely posing the question: what made the people of what is, next to Massachusetts, considered the most liberal state in the Union decide not only to ban gay marriage but to retroactively alter the state constitution, thus potentially invalidating 18,000+ marragies already on the books?  The LDS campaign may have pushed it over the top (in fact, I’m fairly sure it did), but there was already a solid base to begin.

How could we have made history by electing our first black president and shattering the racial glass ceiling, but reaffirm separate-and-unequal status in several states all in one fell swoop?  Are we the sacrificial lamb being offered up?  “We’ll elect a black guy, but the immorality has to stop” — is that it? Trust me, I’m kind of used to it.  I live in Texas.

But it doesn’t make me happy about any of this.  It just makes me wonder what’s really going on here.

If I have any more thoughts, I’ll share.  You can, too.

Meet Bob

Wednesday, October 8th, 2008

In one of my more recent posts, I made reference to my all purpose scapegoat, Bob in accounting.

I have a long history with Bob. Bob was invented by a high school classmate of mine as a recurring character in a series of extraordinarily poorly written … I’ll call them “stories” for lack of a better word … that we wrote, one paragraph at a time, in our trigonometry class.

Bob was originally the god of high fructose corn syrup breakfast cereals and bad plot twists (in that order), which is how he was so useful to our budding (and usually contradictory) careers as authors. (Only one of us who were involved in this endeavor is actually a published writer, and it ain’t me.)

Later on, I decided that Bob needed a day job, what with the new health backlash against high fructose corn syrup, and the clear evidence that J.J. Abrams has usurped the title of god of bad plot twists away from Bob.

I resurrected Bob shortly after 9/11, when I was fairly convinced that the various commissions were actually going to identify a specific person whose fault it was that the attacks were able to happen. Of course, it wouldn’t be the head of anything (plausible deniability), or anyone you’d ever heard of. It would be some random cog in the machine in mid-level management. Someone who didn’t put the right fax in the right person’s inbox. Someone who saw the chatter traffic and decided it wasn’t worth pursuing. And all of a sudden, I realized: it would be Bob in accounting. 9/11 would, I was convinced, be Bob’s fault.

It doesn’t matter where Bob actually works in accounting. He’s sort of an all purpose scapegoat. John McCain thinks that Freddie and FannieMae are to blame for the financial meltdown; Barack Obama disagrees. Split the difference: blame Bob.

In fact, I heartily offer up Bob to anyone who basically wants to say the following: “Why in the name of almighty Bob are we spending so much time and effort worrying about whose fault it was instead of just working of fixing the damned problem already?!!!!”

And so, to the United States electorate, I offer you this: when commissions are tying up broadcast television; when the Fed has imploded and we’re all living in cardboard boxes on the street and eating from soup kitchens … don’t blame Bob. Blame the government for not blaming him and getting on with the business at hand.

Good News, Bad News, Red News, Blue News

Wednesday, February 6th, 2008

Where to begin?

So, a bit of good news to start off the day. Since before Christmas, we’ve all been pre-occupied with the black cloud hanging over our office: namely, that one of our junior professors was denied tenure. There’s been a lot of back-and-forthing, furtive meetings, behind the scenes negotiations, falling on various swords, and today the president’s tenure committee met and unanimously agreed to reverse the decision and grant him tenure. The “this never happens” quotient is extremely high — I’ve known lots of cases where people didn’t get tenure, but I’ve never actually heard of one where a reconsideration was actually made successfully.

The meeting must have taken no time at all because we had word by 10 this morning. It was quite a nice start to the day. Which segued right into nearly immediate frustration.

I have a colleague in another department who is very sweet except when she’s not, and today was one of those second days. She can be a bit flighty, and she’s always overworked and not terribly well organized, and she’s developed some interesting mechanisms to cope with it. The baseline is that nothing is ever her fault, even when it clearly is. In this case, she wanted to make changes to a project that’s ready to go to press because she felt that her contribution wasn’t good enough after reviewing the other contributions. It wouldn’t have been such a big deal if she hadn’t felt the need to justify this by implying that the specs for her part were stupid and restrictive, and stating openly that maybe we shouldn’t rush things to press (which we’re not). The irritating thing was that was clear (to everyone else) that she hadn’t followed the instructions properly, but it would, of course, be completely pointless to try to explain this.

Not that I wasn’t one of those being targeted, but I also had to spend a considerable amount of time talking through it with another colleague who was a little more directly in the line of fire. She was clearly upset, and rightly so — as was I. I did have to restrain myself from sending a snippy response to our mutual colleague, because the accusations were not only misguided but completely unnecessary. The situation we found ourselves could have been a very minor one and dealt with quickly, but the way she chose to deal with it turned it into a long, painful affair, and she made sure that we knew that blame had been assigned and that it lay elsewhere. (No, Will, you don’t know who this is.)

This is becoming a recurring situation with this particular colleague, and we’re a little tired of it.

I’ve also had really bizarre interactions with random people recently. I’ve been drafted to represent our department tomorrow evening at an event at which the Palestinian Prime Minister is the guest of honor. This has come up a few times in conversation, and the number of times that people have had to go out of their way to point out that Palestine isn’t a real country is obnoxious. (In a couple of cases, it was more like, “Palestine has a Prime Minister? They’re not a real country, are they?”)

Well, to be perfectly honest, no they’re not. But I’ve never said they were: the speaker is billed as the Prime Minister of the Palestinian National Authority. I never said otherwise. Technically, he’s the Prime Minster in a government that occasionally attempts to wield control of a semi-autonomous region of the West Bank that’s under Israeli military control, but that’s a little long to fit on a business card.

The bottom line is, those people will have to forgive me if I choose not to inform Mr. Fayyad if and when I meet him that he doesn’t represent a real country. I somehow think he knows the situation a little better than I do.

And finally … well, I did finally figure out who I’m going to vote for in the primary on March 4. You’ll forgive me if I elect not to disclose who that’s going to be. We don’t caucus here in Texas, and my vote’s still private. So there.

And on that note, I think I’m done here. Happy Wednesday to everyone!

Death to Priority Flags

Tuesday, February 5th, 2008

I’ve been sitting on the fence for a while now, and it’s time for me to take a stand:

I hate e-mail priority flags. I think they’re stupid and rude.

There! I said it.

When you send me an e-mail with a little priority flag, you’re not telling me that the message is important to me. You’re telling me that it’s important to you, and that you think that it should also be important to me. But it might not be. It might be mundane.

And a special note to my former co-worker whose response to my “please stop sending me stupid forwarded messages” was “if you don’t want to read it, you can delete it:” no message that contains the phrase “OMG this is so funny” deserves a priority flag, no matter how hard you laughed.

If Microsoft really cared about making e-mail more user friendly, they’d allow me to flag my own messages as a priority as easily as you can tell me that it ought to be. Who cares what you think my priorities ought to be?

Just say no to priority flags, people. Fight the power.

Honestly. What’s next? The government listening in on my phone calls … and offering grammatical advice afterwards? Yeesh.

P.S. Ray offers the following video response:
YouTube Preview Image

 

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