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An Inconvenient Posting

Tuesday, April 22nd, 2008

Well, it’s Earth Day.

I’m not a huge fan of the contrived blog post — the kind that always result from some sort of massive e-mail campaign of the “thou shalt blog about the environment today” sort, but it’s the 22nd of April and we have the air conditioning on because it’s so miserable out today. We’re already at 88 degrees and the humidity is through the roof.

It was lovely being in Hawaii where the weather is always “perfect,” but that’s rarely the case in Austin. Last year, we had a cold winter and a rather mild summer, which was great, but this year is already shaping up to be a hot one. The summer I moved here, in 1998, I arrived in the middle of a heat wave. The day we arrived – me and my parents (who, at the time, were both in their late 50s) and my brother, it was 110 degrees, and the apartment that I moved into was on the second floor (no elevator, natch).

I hate to think we’re going into another summer like that, but the signs are there (and so far, I don’t have plans to be elsewhere for the summer).

This is, of course, not related to Earth Day because, as we all know, global warming is a liberal myth. (chokes on own sarcasm)

OK, seriously? When did global warming become a political cause? I was in a bookstore here in Round Rock — and, to their credit, they’ve got a fair amount of liberal titles on the shelf — and they had The Politically Incorrect Guide to Global Warming, a book featuring lots of accolades on the back cover from representatives of big business and the politicos who love them. It still amazes me that something that’s backed by hard science is being written off as the result of political bias and action groups out to destroy big business. This would, of course, be the same big business that has something to do with the bit where I saw gas for $3.44 a gallon on the way home today.

I know, no sympathy from the east or west coasts, but when I moved here 10 years ago, I couldn’t get my car to take $10 worth of gas no matter what I did. I could push it into the station having run out of gas down the street and fill it with the kind of gas that gets out in the middle of the night and washes the windows for you, and it wouldn’t take $10 worth of gas. Compare that with the $40 I spend the other day.

Last night, Ray and I were talking with some of our neighbors (after 7 years, we finally know some of our neighbors!), and one of them owns a Prius and was raving about it. I’m regularly cognizant of the fact that when I’m sitting on the MoPac expressway in the evening not moving in traffic, that if I had a hybrid instead of my zippy Mazda Protege I wouldn’t be wasting gas. My commute is 24 miles in each direction, and, although I carpool, it still irks me that I have to fill up every week.

It still amazes me that the current administration doesn’t support alternative fuels, and that the average miles-per-gallon of cars made today is the same as it was in the 1970s. Over in Europe, they have cars that get 45-50 miles a gallon, so what’s our problem? It’s not like the technology isn’t out there. When I was shopping for the car I have now–after my Geo that had no pickup but got 40 miles per gallon was fatally rear-ended by a 19 year old girl in an SUV–I was at a Honda dealership and noticed that some of the cars had lower emissions than others. I asked the sales guy why, and he said, “Well, sometimes the engine just needs to be more efficient.”

So … why aren’t they all? I mean, whether you buy into global warming or you don’t, the undisputed fact is that the oil’s going to run out, so why wouldn’t we make all the engines more efficient … oh, darn, I’m being logical again. I hate it when I do that.

Anyway. I do what I can, here and there. I’d like a hybrid, but I can’t really afford it (although maybe when I factor in my average monthly gas bill and what I’d save, I could). I have canvas bags from the grocery store. Granted, I constantly forget to take them with me when I go shopping, but …

And I really hope that next Earth Day, we’ll have a brand new administration that’s willing to sign the Kyoto Protocols and force Detroit to start improving gas mileage, and maybe do some other things that will ensure that the planet might be around for a couple more generations yet. Who knows? A boy can wish …

Tags: Austin, environment, global-warming, hawaii, Home, politics, science, summer, weather
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In search of the perfect maitai

Sunday, April 20th, 2008

I wasn’t such a good blogger this week. Michael IM’ed me at one point to tell me that my blog just wasn’t the same without photos of Hawaii pasted all over it, and I can emphasize. I’ve been trying to get a little more color in these pages, and somehow “work sucks” doesn’t inspire much color. Or commentary.

So…

Ray’s birthday is coming up next month. I had already promised our friends that we would have a tiki party when we got back from Hawaii, and somehow the tiki party and Ray’s birthday got mixed together, so now we’re having a tiki birthday party for him. Planning it has been remarkably fun because there’s so much tiki party crap out there. (Seriously — there are some hard core tikiphiles out there. Check out konakai.com to see what I mean.)

The most important items on the menu for any tiki/Hawaiian themes party, however, are the drinks. You’ve got to have tropical drinks, and the sort of classic beginning for a Hawaiian drink is a maitai.

Looks Hawaiian, don’t it?

The problem, as I have discovered is … well, numerous-fold.

First off, there is such a thing as maitai mix on the market. However, I have recently developed something of an issue with drinks that are mostly colored corn syrup. Seriously, the next time you hit the grocery or liquor store, look at those margarita and piña colada mixes and check out the inclusion of “high fructose corn syrup” as one of the ingredients. There are very, very few that use anything else — I like Stirrings, which uses cane sugar, but man, it’s expensive. I recently started making margaritas with fresh limeade from the grocery store. They’re pretty damned good if I do say so myself.

The next issue is that no two people seem to be able to agree on what actually goes in to a maitai. The bartender cheat sheet that we have at home gives the following recipe:

1 part light rum
1 part dark rum
2 parts pineapple juice
splash of grenadine
garnish with cherry, pineapple slice, umbrella, and any other flair floating about the house

I find pineapple juice just a little too bitter on its own, so I’ve been using pineapple/mango juice. It comes out nice and fruity with a little bite to it:

So, while I was perusing the above tiki Web site and its myriad of links, I decided to get some inspiration for other drinks to serve at the party. You’ve got to have Blue Hawaiians, because they’re blue. You can’t go wrong with blue drinks at a tiki party.

However, I was a bit puzzled/alarmed to discover that one site, which claims to be engaging in the search for the definitive maitai recipe, included these words: “the original maitai included only lime juice. For this reason, anything that includes any other kind of fruit juice (orange, pineapple) is not a real maitai.”

Who knew?

Now, speaking blunty, some of the recipes I’ve found are just cheating (you don’t use orange juice, you use orange curaçao or triple sec). But I dutifully tried some of the recipes just to see how they came out … and wound up adding the pineapple juice anyway because they came out so bitter.

The other problem is that the “definitive recipes” include things like orgeat — almond syrup — and something called “rock candy syrup.” I know of a place locally that probably carries them, and I’ll check them out … and the first thing I’m going to do is look at the ingredients to check for high fructose corn syrup. If I want my guests going into diabetic shock, it’ll be from the food, thank you very much.

Otherwise, I’ll just stick with my current recipe, which is:

2 parts dark rum
2 parts light rum
1 part lime juice
1 part orange curaçao
a good helping of pineapple/mango juice (roughly 4 parts)
a splash of grenadine
flair

Shake and serve over ice.

On to testing the next recipe. This is the kind of homework I can get with!

So — anyone have other tiki drink suggestions?

Tags: alcohol, birthdays, drinking, hawaii, parties, Ray, recipes
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Rambling Khowaga Travels: Hawaii

Sunday, April 13th, 2008

I’m trying to ignore the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow, and it’s not quite working. In recognition of the fact that if I don’t wrap up–at least in my own head–my trip to Hawaii now, I’ll never get around to it, I’m presenting the second edition of Rambling Khowaga Travels: Hawaii.

$Gettin\'$

Gettin’ there and gettin’ around

You’ll fly to the islands, of course, most likely to Honolulu. You’ll also fly whichever airline is cheapest, and hopefully not about to fold.

We visited O’ahu and Hawai’i (the big island), and we rented a car on both. Some thoughts.

Driving on O’ahu will drive you insane.
There’s really no two ways about it. O’ahu has some of the worst traffic I have ever seen in my life, especially for a city with a population of 500,000. It makes me thankful for traffic in Austin, and that’s just downright sad. The Interstate H-1, which runs west-to-east through Honolulu, and seems to be the logical airport-to-downtown/Waikiki thoroughfare jams up in the morning, evening, and any time there’s an accident, which seems to be rather frequent.

Most rental car companies suggest using Nimitz Highway (which turns into Ala Moana Blvd) through downtown to get to Waikiki – LISTEN TO THEM. They know what they’re talking about. Don’t do what I did and think, “There’s no way that the side streets are faster than the freeway.” They are, and it’s a much prettier drive, especially toward sunset.

In all honesty, just for the traffic alone, I would, in hindsight, have switched our itinerary around and started the trip on the big island and left O’ahu till the end. Driving on the big island is much more relaxing (except for Kona, where maps don’t include elevation), and you’ll be in that true “whatever, brah” spirit by the time you get back to the big city.

$Sleepin\'$

Sleepin’

One of the things I don’t get about places like Hawaii is why people insist on paying upwards of $200 a night for a hotel room that you’re barely going to be in. It’s Hawaii. Who goes to Hawaii and hangs out in their hotel room?

I can’t honestly recommend the place we stayed at in Honolulu. I won’t name it because the experience wasn’t bad, I just don’t recommend it for reasons I’ll explain here:

1. Waikiki is not the prettiest beach in O’ahu. It’s the most famous, the most crowded, and the only one where you’ll wind up paying through your nose to park. If your hotel isn’t beachfront — and a lot of the ones who claim they are are actually located across the street — ask yourself if you really need to be in that area. It’s the most expensive part of Honolulu. Even the prices at the local grocery store are higher in Waikiki than they are in other parts of the city. For the record, views of Diamond Head can be had just as easily in downtown Honolulu, as well as on the other side of Diamond Head itself.

2. Most hotels in the Waikiki area charge their guests for parking (and a lot of them have valet-only service). We stayed at a place in Waikiki, but not on the beach, that I thought was a bargain at $120 a night. Then they charged $18 for parking per day. For $140 a night, we could have stayed at a nicer place that had free parking. It might not have been within walking distance of Waikiki, but we could have driven just as easily to one of the multitudes of beaches on O’ahu that also have free parking, such as Sandy Beach:

On the big island of Hawai’i, we stayed at a place I recommend whole-heartedly: The Hale O’hia Cottages. It’s a bed-and-breakfast in Volcano Village, about a mile from the entrance to the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. It’s a beautiful property, it feels secluded, and the innkeeper, Michael, is a font of knowledge about things to see and do on the big island. While the property is gay owned, it’s not a gay bed-and-breakfast per se — for that sort of thing, you’d need to go Kona side.

Sight-seein’

If you have the time, you should try to visit more than one island. Although Ray and I both think O’ahu is prettier than Hawai’i, I enjoyed myself on Hawai’i more. I really enjoyed being on the Hilo side of the big island. Although it’s not as developed as the Kona side, that’s better. Everything in Kona is more expensive (even gas was between 25 and 30 cents a gallon more expensive) than in Hilo. Hilo is the sort of blend of hippie/new age/gay/local/surfer/organic/anti-establishment that felt like Austin on the beach, and I really liked it. Although I’m not the kind of person who’s ever liked walking down the street holding hands with someone, I felt like we could have done in Hilo and no one would have given us a second glance.

On O’ahu, you have to make the usual rounds: the USS Arizona Memorial is a must-see, if just to say you’ve done it. You have to stroll on Waikiki at least once, again, just to say you’ve done it and ogle the muscle boys (or bikini girls if that’s your thing). You’ll find more surfing action on the east and north shores, and snorkeling in the bays that adjoin the eastern point of the island. If hiking is your thing, you have to go up Diamond Head – there are also a bunch of other hiking trails throughout O’ahu (see Na Ala Hele for more info). Tourist traps that are worth your time include the Dole Plantation–it pretends to be nothing other than what it is, and it’s fun to walk through the gardens. If you have the time to head up to the Waimea Valley Audubon preserve, it’s worth the admission fee. There are also hidden gems that are perfect for a rainy day, like the Byodo-In temple, a short drive over the mountains from Honolulu.

On the Big Island, the main attraction is the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park, which gets more visitors each year than any other site in Hawaii. Don’t miss the Hilo Farmer’s Market on Saturdays and Wednesdays, where you can buy most of the stuff you’ve seen in the souvenir shops for significantly less, and talk to actual locals in the process of doing so. In fact, the Downtown Hilo alliance has a Web site devoted to the historic area that’s worth a look if you’re going to be in the area. If you make it around Kona side, make sure to stop at a coffee farm (we visited the Kona Blue Sky Coffee plot) and Pu’uhonua O Honaunau National Historical Park. (It means “place of refuge” – make the rangers pronounce it for you).

The Big Island has a lot of stuff to see and do, and I won’t go into it all here — it wouldn’t even be possible to do so anyway! Get in your car and drive till you see something neat. It won’t take long.

Eatin’

You can spend a ridiculous amount of money eating in Hawaii, however, Ray and I both tend not to like to do so. It is possible to eat on a budget, if you know where to go.

First off, I have to point out The Tasty Island, a Hawaii food blog that I read through before heading out. He has lots of restaurant recommendations (and offers instructions on how to smoke your own pork if you like what you’ve had in the islands and want to try it at home). Also try ‘Ono Kine Grindz for even more restaurant recommendations.

You have to have breakfast at the Wailana Coffee House in Honolulu. It’s on Ala Moana, across the street from the Hilton Hawaiian Village. This is one of those “things” you must do in Honolulu – frankly, the food’s not all that, and the service leaves something to be desired, but that’s apparently part of the experience.

The Liliha Bakery is a local bakery and diner counter recommended to us by a local, and worth a detour (it’s not hard to find with a car, although you’ll wonder if you’re going the right way). The day we arrived, this local institution was sold to a Honolulu businessman who wants to open more branches up, so check when you arrive if that’s happened. You can have breakfast at the counter, and pick up a six-pack or a dozen coco puffs on your way out. (Trust me).

The Big City Diner in Ward Center. Apparently, this place is derided as a Chili’s knock-off, but after trying the pork ribs with guava sauce, I’m sold. We had a little misunderstanding over the kimchi fried rice however. I had this conversation with him:

Ray: What did she recommend? The Kimchi fried rice?
Me: Yeah.
Ray: What’s in it?
Me (looking at the menu): kimchi, spam, and egg.

However, because you don’t say punctuation, Ray was having this conversation instead:

Ray: What did she recommend? The kimchi fried rice?
Me: Yeah.
Ray (assuming that I know he knows what’s in fried rice and referring to kimchi): What’s in it?
Me: Kimchi? Spam and egg.

Hence, when the food arrived and he had a plate full of cabbage fried rice, he was a little surprised. Oops. Anyway, I’m told by people who know these things that the kimchi fried rice is ‘ono if you’re into that sort of thing.

We also ate at Mekong I, one of the lower end restaurants owned by a family that has several restaurants spanning the range from budget to extravagant. We drove past it twice before we found it, but it was quite good. BYOB.

Weirdly enough, Taco Bell was running a promotion with several Hawaiian pork (kalua) items on the menu that are reasonably priced and quite good (for Taco Bell). Something to consider if you’re looking for a quick bite.

On the Big Island:

Cafe 100 in Hilo claims to have invented the loco moco, a carb-loaded concoction that consists of a hamburger patty served on top of rice, covered in gravy, and topped with two eggs any style. It’s always busy, and, name to the contrary, actually a drive in rather than a cafe. Get it to go and eat at one of the tables in Lili’uokalani Gardens.

The Hilo Bay Cafe is a nice upscale place in a strip mall next to Wal-Mart. They claim to have the best burgers in the islands. I can’t say for sure – neither of us had the burger. This one has made the Honolulu Advertiser’s ‘Ilima list (best restaurant awards) several times — an impressive accomplishment for a restaurant that’s not on O’ahu.

Cafe Pesto is right on the harbor in the historic district. (Note: nothing is actually on the harbor in Hilo. After the town has been knocked down by tsunamis twice in the past 60 years, all that’s on the waterfront is a seawall, some roads, and a couple of parking lots to put elevation between the waterfront and the first businesses.) The pizza is pretty good — if a bit on the pricey side.

Ken’s House of Pancakes has the kind of cult following that the Wailana Coffee House wishes it had. The servers are no-nonsense, the food is fast, and they’re open 24 hours. They serve more than pancakes — the signature item is the sumo loco, which involves more carb loading than should reasonably be allowed, but it comes with a T-shirt if you finish it all. We didn’t try.

In Volcano village, Thai Thai is only open for dinner, but the food is remarkably good. The pickings are somewhat slim in Volcano – the only thing Lava Rock Cafe has going for it is its slightly cutesy name, but the food is pricey and not that good. Kiawe Kitchen was recommended by other guests at the bed and breakfast, but we never ate there.

And so, I wrap up my thoughts on Hawaii. I’m already thinking about how quickly we can get back. Maybe next time we’ll visit Maui. Or Kauai. Or …

Tags: coffee, driving, food, hawaii, hiking, hotels, maps, north shore, restaurants, surfing, traffic, Travel, uss arizona memorial, volcanoes
Posted in Rambling Khowaga Travels | Comments Off

Pele’s Cold Shoulder

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

Many years ago, the story goes, when it was habit for English nobility to practice primogeniture, it was the responsibility of the oldest brothers and cousins to take care of their hordes of less fortunate younger siblings and relatives by hosting them for extended stays. There was no set limit on how long one “should” stay in a particular place. Rather, one evening at dinner, the guest in question could expect to be served a slightly cold shoulder of beef. This was the polite nod from the host to the guest that it was time to leave. Hence the phrase “Giving the cold shoulder.”

In Hawaii, they have a volcano goddess who does that, and she has clearly spoken to us, and told us that it’s time to head out.

Today was our last full day here on the Big Island. We have most of the day tomorrow here — we fly back to Honolulu in the late afternoon and then back to the mainland on a late evening flight that arrives Thursday morning.

As we left our room this morning, Michael, the innkeeper of the little bed and breakfast where we’ve been staying, hurried to meet us. “I don’t know if you’ve heard the news,” he said, “but Civil Defense has issued an evacuation order for Volcano village. It’s OK, though, because the wind shifted this way for a bit and then shifted even further east, so it’s missing us and going for Hilo.” We hadn’t actually heard the news, but we’d seen the plume in the sky — watched it erupting out of the crater and even went back to see the plume glowing in the night, too. The wind had been blowing the volcanic gasses – mainly sulphur dioxide – out to sea, but the long feared inland shift had happened and now the plume had reversed to flow over the island. We’re staying maybe four miles from the eruption sight, so there’s a large swath of directions that would take the plume right over us.

Thus reassured, we set off in the rental car not toward Hilo, as we’ve done many times over, but in the opposite direction, toward Kona. Kona, on the west coast of the island, is resort central. It’s where the bigger of the two airports on Hawai’i is located, it’s got the biggest share in all the tourist brochures, and the Hard Rock Cafe (till June, when it closes because they can’t afford the rent). In short, I thought no visit to the Big Island would be complete without poking over to see what the fuss was about. I even had A Plan. We’d go over, have lunch, visit a coffee farm, hit the beach, and hit the unpronounceable Pu’uhonua O Honaunau National Historic Park on the way back. Simple plan, yes?

If only.

$Puna Lu\'u$
Off we went down Highway 11, the Hawai’i Belt Road. We stopped at the Pu’na Lu’u Black Sand Beach to walk on the black sand (it’s really black — and warm) and watch the Hawaiian Green Sea Turtle who was sunning himself on the beach and seemed in no particular hurry to get anywere (I guess that’s what happens when you live 150 years).

Then it was off down the road, around the tip of the island, and up to Kailua, the main city on the Kona Coast. It’s like Cozumel, only with more kitsch shops and less nightclubs.

We succeeded in finding a place to have lunch, and wandered through a few souvenir shops purchasing trinkets. We keep looking at Macadamia nuts — Mauna Loa makes Milk Chocolate Toffee coated macadamia nuts that are truly orgasmic, and they’re overpriced everywhere. We check the prices routinely, but the cheapest is (so help me) at the Wal Mart in Hilo, which we’re going to hit in the time between when we have to check out of the bed and breakfast and the time that we have to be at the airport.

And then I made the mistake that turned the tide on the day.

You would think that after thirty odd years of being me, I would have learned not to utter thoughts like this one when they come out of my mouth, but I’m just not that bright, and the thought was out before I had a chance to process it.

“I’ll bet they’re cheaper at Costco,” I said.

You see, when we were on Oahu, we did at one point find ourself in Sam’s Club looking for Aloha Shirts (for the luau we went to), and since Sam’s specializes in tacky, it was a natural thought when we stumbled across it in Waikiki. We also noticed the massive quantities of Mauna Loa products they had. There’s no Sam’s on the Big Island, but there is a Costco, and it’s in the Kona area. And oddly enough, Costco is one of the points of interest pre-programmed into my GPS. Ray, whose ears perk up at the idea of shopping, especiallly when bargains are involved, said, “OK.” And off we went.

An hour later, we were pulled over to the side of the road in the rental car in a section of Kailua that people who live there probably never see (with good reason) not speaking to one another. I had yelled obscenities at the GPS, Ray had attempted to temper my irrational behavior with logic, so I yelled obscenities at him, then he yelled back — hence the silence and the fuming.

The GPS had attempted to guide us to a one-block long street in a purely residential area that did not, have a Costco. Ray called information and was connected to a place that seemed bewildered that we needed directions, and was even more bewildered as to how to give them. I plugged in those coordinates on the GPS and we went off to discover ourselves outside of a machine parts company named Cosco. (Minus the T).

I should add that the GPS doesn’t take elevation into account, so it kept taking us up and down the 1,000 foot mountain range immediately east of Kona — through a residential area, and at one point tried to steer us down someone’s driveway. Whoever fact-checked the Hawaii maps did an atrocious job.

After the silence and the fuming, we did locate the Costco (for the record, it’s on the road to the Kona airport between the airport and Kmart), although we didn’t actually go because we’d lost an hour of our day and I’d spent more on gas than we could possibly save on mac nuts. Besides, the Hilo Farmer’s Market is tomorrow, and we plan to hit it for bargain souvenirs before we leave.

Then we went off to the coffee farm I wanted to visit. The GPS couldn’t handle that one either, and we eventually found it in spite, not because, of the GPS. (The coffee farm was in an area that lay in between two maps in our guidebook.)

At this point, we were 0 for 2, so I decided that we’d have a couple of relaxing hours on the beach. Ray later point out that this should have been remarkably easy. “It’s an island,” he said. “Drive any direction, you’ll hit beach.” You’d think so, wouldn’t you? Except on Hawai’i, most of the shores are actually rocks with no sands, which is why the beaches tend to have resorts on them.

I found a beach in the guidebook and off we went, to discover that the “beach” was the size of a sandbox, and had clearly been trucked in. I know this because there was a wall separating it from the ocean. At this point, I declared the day a wash and suggested that we head off to Pu’uhonua O Honaunau and then go home.

$Pu\'uhonua O Honaunau$

Pu’uhonua O Honaunau is a quiet, reflective place. By the time we got there, neither one of us were feeling quiet or refelctive, so we zipped through and left in about half an hour.

As we were driving back, an indicator light on the dashboard of the rental car popped up. Once Ray found the owner’s manual and decoded the symbol (it was an exclamation point – how useless is that?), he announced that it signalled low tire pressure. We pulled over — when I could, which was ten minutes later, and looked at the tires. They all looked fine. We decided to stop at the next gas station to check the tire pressure.

The next gas station was in the self-proclaimed southernmost town in the US — 25 miles away. At this point, you’re out in the middle of nowhere. We pulled in to discover that their air hoses were out of order, but no longer needed a tire gauge: the rear wheel on the driver’s side was nearly flat as a pancake.

So, we added a flat tire to the day’s events. We put the mini on, I tried unsuccessfully to call the rental car office to see what they wanted me to do about it, and drove off toward Volcano.

Apparently in the middle of the day, the wind shifted again. The vog–volcanic fog–was thick as we came up the mountain, and pulled into the B and B. We had dinner in the village at the Thai restaurant. Half the village must have been in there — the rest of the town is closed under a voluntary evacuation order. As of now, the sulphur dioxide levels are back to normal, but the national park is still closed.

We’re both not ready to go back to work, but today maybe helped us get ready to end our vacation.

Tags: costco, driving, frustration, gps, hawaii, maps, me, Ray, rental cars, Travel, vacation
Posted in Egypt 2005, Home | 1 Comment »

Pele is not amused.

Tuesday, April 8th, 2008

This evening, we went down to the newly opened lava flow viewing area in Kalapana, which is on the coast outside of the Hawaii Volcanoes National Park. Kilauea, the main volcano round these parts, has been quite active of late — she’s got an eruption going up top, and one going down below.

This has been something I’ve wanted to do since I was a kid, and now I can check it off my list.

For the record, these were all taken at a safe distance of around a quarter mile, through a telephoto lens with a focal distance of 300mm. Exposure times range from 2.5 to 8 seconds.