Amazon.com Widgets
I’m not mad.  Really.

About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I live in Austin, Texas, with my partner, Ray, and our child dog, Mocha. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘HBO’



Summer’s End

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Summer officially ends today here on this esteemed campus of higher learning.  Never mind that today will likely be the 66th consecutive day of 100+ degree temperatures, and that we’re still in a massive drought.  Summer’s over when classes start.

Most years, it seems that I always have something to say about the massive influx of students.  There is something disarming about the arrival of 40,000 students on campus all at once (and believe you me, they all showed up over the weekend).  Our summer school numbers are pretty low here, something I’ve never quite understood since it’s an easy way to relieve that crowding over the rest of the year, but what do I know?

The Bible pushers weren’t out yet this morning when I came in.  You may recall them from a post several years ago in which I lamented my inability to throw out holy scripture that I didn’t want.  I’m sure I’ll see them this afternoon, unless their precious saved souls can’t quite deal with the heat.  That’d be funny.

When I got to my department this morning, I was surprised to find new fliers up everywhere.

We have this professor–I won’t name him because he actually googles himself on a daily basis (and given his narcissism, there’s at least three or four entendres at work in that statement)–who has declared himself the only expert in the bizarre dialect of a language that he teaches.  He’s declared his office the World Headquarters of studies in this particular language.

So, this morning, there are fliers up all over the place.  He’s running some bizarre contest, and god alone knows what the prize will be.  A copy of his most recent biography, I suppose.  (Seriously: he publishes these random books consisting of his journals through one of those “publish it yourself” vanity presses, like we all need to know what his opinion of the canapes at a restaurant that no longer exists is … )

I saw another professor on my way out yesterday.  We joke around the office that he taught Hebrew to Moses — seriously, the guy is almost 90 and still teaching.  I’ve thought to myself that I suppose that I’d like to be that active at his age.  (The other running joke is that he’s still teaching because he’s afraid that if he retires he’ll discover that, after all these years, he really doesn’t like his wife.)  We have come in on Monday mornings and noticed on the switchboard phone that the receiver in his office is off the hook and wondered to ourselves if he failed to hang up properly again, or if this is going to be the time that we key into his office and find him still in there …

He’s also massively grumpy at times, when it comes to things like only four students registered for his class and it’s going to be cancelled due to low enrollment.  This was yesterday’s drama, and he was complaining about it to everyone.  The problem there is that the person he needed to complain to wasn’t in the office, so the rest of it had to hear about it at some length.  He doesn’t talk very loudly or quickly, you see.

The kicker to all of the pre-semester faculty drama is that I had a meeting yesterday that included the faculty member who sent a particularly nasty message at the end of my trip to Cairo.  She was very nice and sweet and pretended like nothing ever happened.  I suppose that’s one way to deal with it, but … for god’s sake, if you’re going to be that bitchy, own it!  Don’t brush it under the rug.  Seriously, does no one understand the finer points of bitchcraft?

At any rate.  I need to go see how we’re doing on the office pool: the first day of classes we always have a pool to guess what time the first panicked student will arrive freaking out because he/she couldn’t get into the class he/she wanted.  Never mind that registration is over and that we’ve been here all summer long — there’s always a handful of them.  I picked 8:45.

I hope your summer is ending smoothly :)

Vignettes

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

I’m back home in Austin.  I flew home on Friday, a long day that involved a lot of nodding off in odd places.  I had to leave for the airport at 1 am, so there wasn’t any actual sleep (I tried to nap a little in my hotel room, but I kept jerking awake out of fear that I’d oversleep).

As usual, the Cairo Airport luggage cart mafia got the last word: As I was standing in line to go through security (in many international gateways, you have to go through X-ray with your luggage before you get to check-in), I was asked which airline I was flying.

“Turkish,” I said.
“This line is for Olympic,” he said.  (For the record: this is BS.  The ticket lobby is wide open once you go through security — there is no “this line is for this airline, and that line is for that airline.”)  I knew where this was going, but before I could stop him, he’d grabbed my luggage and started walking at an extremely fast pace across the terminal to the next checkpoint over.
“You give me money now,” he said.”  He wound up with 1 Egyptian pound and 1 US dollar — the last cash I had on me.

I may have mentioned this before, but it’s worth saying again: I hate Cairo Airport.  It’s a pit of snakes.

Fortunately, there were better moments on this trip.

Al-Azhar at Night

One evening, I suggested to a friend who hadn’t seen much of the city besides the campus where he was studying and the apartment where he lived that we visit the old city in the evening.  The snakes who run the Khan al-Khalili bazaar tend to be a little less venomous toward the end of the day.  Shortly out of the cab, I wandered over to the newly restored area between the Wikala and Madrassa of Sultan al-Ghori, which I hadn’t seen since the restoration was complete.  While looking at the new roof over the area, a man wandered over to us and struck up a conversation.  His English wasn’t the best, so the conversation took place primarily in Arabic.

It turned out that he was working on the restoration project, and after a few moments, he offered to show us around.  I’m normally leery of offers like this as they tend to end with a bill being produced, but he seemed pretty genuine and kept insisting that he wasn’t doing it for baksheesh.

For the next two hours, we wandered the back streets south of al-Azhar mosque.  Granted, he showed us a lot of craft workshops that made things neither of us were interested in buying, but it didn’t seem to bother him.

The only point where money entered into the conversation was when we went down to Bab Zuwayla, the southern gate to old Cairo that dates from 970 AD.  The mosque of Shaykh Moizz li-din Allah adjoins the bab, and for a little bribing, you can get the caretaker to let you up on the roof.

_MG_3752

As we were up on top of the mosque, with its view of the old city and the cliffs of Muqattam that border Cairo to the east, the muezzins began making the call to prayer (the azan).  From our vantage point, you could hear muzzein after muezzin chanting from the city’s four thousand mosques, the sounds echoing off of each other and weaving into a great chant that is, to me, one of the most quintessential sounds of Egypt: prayer, street activity, and traffic.  How Cairo.

As we descended, he asked us to make a donation to the mosque, which we were happy to do.  After that, it was back to the main street where he’d met us, with a handshake and a good bye.  I gave him a little Austin lapel pin that I had left over from the trip to Turkey, and with that we were on our way.

The next day, I returned to the old city on my own to wander all over creation and shoot some photos.  I came on my own deliberately, as I know my interest in architecture and little alleyways is not shared by many … OK, most … of my friends.  I’ve learned that it’s better to just come on my own.

There was a slightly ugly incident near Bab al-Nasir, one of the two northern gates of the city.  As I was passing a small food stall, the guy working the fry station practically threw a piece of ta’amiyya (Egyptian felafel — it’s made with fava beans instead of chick peas) at me.  The next thing I knew, I was being bodily pulled into the restaurant, made to sit at a table, and plates of food that I didn’t want were placed in front of me.  I just wasn’t hungry, and I wasn’t entirely comfortable, as I imagined that this exchange was going to end with an outrageous bill being presented.  I wasn’t wrong.

The conversation started off nicely enough, with the usual, “Where are you from?  What’s your name?” questions, and a bit of bizarre cross cultural communication took place when it was revealed that I apparently have the same first name as The Undertaker from WCW(?).  There was a moment of admiration of the bandana that I carry as a sweat rag.  This is nothing new, and I’ve learned to carry spares.  These were given out -  I had enough for all the guys in the stand, but then things got ugly.

“I’ve got a kid,” said one of the guys.  “What do you have for him?”
“Um … ” I looked in my camera bag.  To my shock, he actually reached in and pulled something out, and I smacked his hand, and snarled at him.  The phrase Leh keddah literally means “What’s this?” but said the right way it connotes “WTF, dude?”  I eventually parted with a hotel pen that I’d picked up somewhere in my travels, and then decided it was time to make my exit.  I was presented with a bill for 30 pounds ($6 – which is probably a 500% inflation over what a local would have paid) and then everyone started asking for a tip.  Fortunately, by this time, I was far enough outside the restaurant that they couldn’t block my way, so I pretended I couldn’t understand and walked away.

I was irritated by this experience, and kept trying to calm myself down by reminding myself that I hadn’t spent that much, when a woman wearing a niqab (the face veil with a slit for the eyes) came up to me, motioning with her hands.  She was a beggar.

The guys at the restaurant had taken all of my small bills, and I just didn’t have anything.  I did, however, have a bag of leftover ta’amiya and french fries.  “I don’t have any money,” I said.  “Would you like food?”

She looked at me, puzzled.  “You speak Arabic?”  (This was an odd comment, considering that I’d spoken to her in Arabic, but I’m used to it.  There’s something about looking the way I do and speaking Arabic that just causes brains to short circuit all over Egypt).
“Yeah.”
This was followed by the usual questions about where I was from, etc., and I gave her the food and headed off.  At which point she asked me if I wanted to take her photo — a bit of a startling question from a woman in a face veil!

I headed down through the Khan al-Khalili as quickly as possible and crossed the bridge to the relative safety of the other side.  My plan was to walk down through Bab Zuwayla and then down through the Khan of the tentmakers and through the neighborhood beyond.

This is an area that’s not frequented by foreigners, but if my presence caused any consternation, it didn’t show.  A couple of boys asked me to take their photo.

Boys

I’m ashamed that I don’t remember their names.

The only incident happened further down the street.  I stopped to snap a photo of a mosque, and the guy working at a street cart selling pots and pans, asked me, “What are you taking a photo of?  I don’t want any photos of me!”
“I took a photo of the mosque,” I said.
“The mosque?” he asked.  I showed him on the LCD panel on my camera, and suddenly the scowl was replaced with a big smile and a thumbs up.

And that was it.  So much for the seething anti-Americanism on the Arab street.

Even that night, when my friend and I came back to see the Sufis and visit the newly lit up monuments north of the Khan al-Khalili, it was a mixture of ignorance and cheerful questions.  And the monuments do look incredible at night.

Shari'a Moizz at Night.

And so.  When I got to Cairo, I remembered thinking, “How am I going to fill up this time?”  By the time it was over, it seemed like it went so quickly.

Which is not to say that I wasn’t ready to come home.  Probably the ugliest moment on the entire trip occurred the morning before I left, in the form of an e-mail from work.  Someone on the organizing committee of a conference I’m working on sent a message that was so ugly that it actually brought tears to my eyes.  By the time I saw the message, several others had weighed in, and there was a message from my boss asking me not to respond to it because, “I’ve already told her in no uncertain terms that this message is completely unacceptable.”   Even so, it put me in an absolutely foul mood, and my brain has been wandering back to it ever since (12 hour flights are great for stewing).  It was a nasty reminder of things waiting for me when I go back to work tomorrow.

And so.  I have vague memories of the plane taking off from Cairo at 3:30 am on Friday, and equally vague memories of the plane landing in Istanbul.  I found a bench to sleep for part of the 6 hour layover in Istanbul and conked out again for a good chunk of the flight from Istanbul to Chicago.  (The two bottles of wine served with lunch might have helped).

And now, I’m home where it’s hotter than it was in Egypt!  But I’m happy to be back with Ray and Mocha and not spending a lot of money all the time — Egypt has gotten significantly more expensive over the past couple of years.  The economic recession has not been kind there.

All the same … well, I’m not planning my next trip back yet, but it’s always in the back of my mind.  That’s just kind of the way I am.

Notes from 25,000 feet

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

Currently on a Turkish Airlines Airbus A320 en route from Istanbul to Izmir, the third largest city in Turkey and a major port along the Aegean coast.

We arrived yesterday afternoon after what was, all things considered, not a bad flight over from Chicago.  I’m traveling with a group I put together — Chris from work is along for the ride, along with ten teachers, eight from the Austin area, one from Dallas and one from Houston.  Most of us met at the airport in Austin and flew together up to Chicago.

I’ve defended O’Hare on a few occasions, stating outright that I’ve never had any real problems connecting through, and this continued to be the case.  This should not be confused with the concept that connecting to international flights at O’Hare is actually easy.  The international terminal — Terminal 5 — can only be reached on the airport train, which requires exiting the secure area and going through security once again when you get there.

And frankly, for an international terminal, they ought to be ashamed of themselves.  The only source of food is before security, so for those looking at their watches and the long line at the three security lines, it’s a choice between food and wondering if you’ll make your flight on time.  It took nearly 45 minutes for us to get through, and to say the TSA folks were rude would be an understatement.  I accidentally forgot to empty the water bottle that I carry with me (it’s refillable – I carry it through security empty and then fill it at a water fountain so that I don’t have to pay airport prices for a 12 oz bottle of water to carry on the plane).  The guy working security waved it at me.

“Oh, it’s water,” I said.  “I’m sorry, just go ahead and dump it out.”
A burly officer with a shaved head who struck me as ex-military came up, snatched it from the other guy, and practically yelled at me, “No, I’m going to take you back through and you can dump it.”  He meant it, too.  He was willing to let me wait for someone else in the group to come through so that I could leave my stuff with them, but got impatient.

“Where are they?” he snapped.
“They’re still waiting to come through.”
“Well, I’ll just take it out there and give it to one of them to dump,” he said, and stalked off.

Welcome to America, ladies and gents.  Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.

Once we got to the gate and checked in with Turkish Airlines, we got another nasty surprise: we were all in middle seats.  And the plane was full.  I boarded in a bit of dread, but I have to say that if you’re going to get stuck in the middle seat on an 11 hour flight, there are worse places to do it than on a Turkish Airlines A340.  They’ve got a little more leg room than most other carriers I’ve flown on (on the plane where I’m sitting at this moment, I could get out to the aisle without bothering either of my aisle mates), and that fun AVOD system where you can while the flight away watching really bad movies on demand (After sleeping most of the way across the Atlantic, I finally chose Confessions of a Shopaholic over Bride Wars).  Although flights that long can never be described as “short,” I didn’t spend the last four hours wanting to get off the plane by any means necessary, like I have on some other airlines *coughDeltacough*.

We were met at the airport in Istanbul by some folks from Austin from the organization that’s hosting us — I’d been a bit nervous because I didn’t have any information about that, and so when we walked into the arrivals hall there was a moment of truth, so to speak.  Ironically, it turned out that they were getting worried about us, because it took over an hour from the time the plane landed for us to get through the long line for visas, then passport control, and then for the luggage to arrive.  “We were starting to wonder if something had happened … ”

We were taken to our hotel in Istanbul, which may be in the old city in the sense that it’s within the old city walls, but there’s nothing particularly old about the neighborhood where the hotel is located.  It is, however, on a quiet side street, which I appreciate.  We went out for a quick dinner, which lasted exactly as long as I could deal with, then back to the hotel for bed.

We had an early wakeup call, but I woke up early (4:15).  I guess jetlag will be with me for a few days, but right now … granted, it’s still 7:45 am … I’m feeling OK.  We have a long day in Izmir, visiting Ephesus and Selcuk, and then we’re flying on down the coast to Antalya tonight.  At that point, I’ll be ready for a good night’s sleep.

And now, I’m getting the usual warning about putting electronics away as we’re on our descent into Izmir.  More later …

A Moment’s Respite

Friday, June 19th, 2009

It’s literally a quiet day here in the office.  Several people are out–my erstwhile assistant is enjoying a long weekend, as is the current cause of office drama.  The lack of screaming in the hallway is a nice change — it’s hard to explain when you’re having a meeting with people from outside the department.

But mostly it’s quiet because I’m at a point where I don’t want to start working on things because I’m about to be away from the office for three weeks.  Note that I didn’t say I’m going on vacation for three weeks.  If there’s one thing I can’t quite seem to get certain coworkers to understand, it’s that hauling a group of people around the Middle East is not “vacation.”  I leave in just over a week for Turkey and Egypt.  Egypt was supposed to be vacation, but is no longer.  It’s all good — in exchange for a couple of meetings, my airfare down from Istanbul and my hotel is being covered.  Past that, Egypt is cheap: if you spend more than $15 a day on food, you’re doing something wrong.

So, given that, I’m kind of piddling around this afternoon.

I got a new kerpooter at the office.  It’s a 24″ iMac, and it’s quite zippy.  It boots up in under a minute!  The major drawback is that I get less reading done, what with the not having to wait 5 minutes for Photoshop to load.

At home, we’re dog-sitting my parents’ new dog — they waited too long and the name Brandi (with an i–gag me) has stuck, although they’re calling her Boo.  It doesn’t matter much because she doesn’t actually respond to anything.  Pleas such as “Boo, please stop chewing on the electrical cords,” or “Boo, you are standing on my sunburned shoulders GET OFF GET OFF GET OFF,” fall on completely deaf ears.  She’s not deaf, though.  Any time the fridge opens, she comes running.

One of the things that we’ve been lulled into false security with is that Mocha, at 50 pounds, doesn’t fit in certain places that Boo can go easily–such as under the sofa or through the missing board in the fence that is technically the neighbor’s responsibility to replace.  I pointed out to my father that she doesn’t take direction well.  “You probably have forgotten when Mocha was all arms and legs and would bite everything is sight,” said he.

I wouldn’t say I’ve forgotten.  I’d say I’ve repressed.

Let’s see … what else.  I am almost done with the thirty day challenge on EA Active — Ray had his last day today, mine is tomorrow.  Between that and the dieting, I’m done almost 10 pounds in the last month, and Ray is close to 15.  Yay us!  Now I’ll go to Turkey where meetings come with baklava…

At any rate.  It’s Friday, and I’m ready to go home.  Have a good one, everyone!

The Never-Ending Dog vs. Children Debate

Saturday, February 28th, 2009

IMG_0278

The in-laws are visiting this weekend, and they brought their rambunctious teenaged dog, Freckles, with them.  You may remember Freckles from her appearance a couple of years back when she fit in the palm of my hand and liked to gnaw on toes with her sharp puppy teeth:

Freckles and Mocha have had a few snarling matches, because Freckles is into everything.  She reminds me of Mocha as a puppy — Oh, how I don’t miss the days when conversations would be interrupted with–

Crash.

“What’s she gotten into this time??”

I’ve had conversations with friends who have children about the similarities between young children and puppies.  You have to watch their every move, because if you turn your back on them for a second … disaster may strike (and it’s usually not disaster for them so much as a prized possession).  If they get sick, you’re up with them all night.  And long road trips are invariably interrupted by pee breaks.

The one advantage dog owners have is that we can lock our dogs in a crate for time out.  With dogs, that’s considered “good training.”  If you do that with your kids, it’s called “child abuse.”

Score one for dog owners.

And now, if you’ll excuse me, Freckles has gotten hold of a squeaky toy and wants the entire neighborhood to know it…

 

Blog Theme by LJP & SLR Lounge