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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I live in Austin, Texas, with my partner, Ray, and our child dog, Mocha. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘iraq’



Civility FAIL

Thursday, September 10th, 2009

The president gave a speech last night.  I didn’t watch it.  I need to be able to read the synopsis of political speeches these days because I can’t quite stomach the queasy feeling I get half the time.

And so, I missed the moment everyone’s talking about this morning: South Carolina senator Joe Wilson yelling, “You lie!” when President Obama said that his vision for reformed health care wouldn’t cover illegal immigrants.

Here it is in case you missed it:

YouTube Preview Image

I find myself in a quandary here.  I’m not entirely sure where I stand on health care reform (yes, the system is broken, and I am mystified by people who think that a government run plan will be more of a burden than a privately run one, apparently on the basis that it’s more “American” to have corporations do it, because corporations are never, ever evil), but I know where I stand on this.  (And if you don’t know, you clearly didn’t read my post from Monday).

The New York Times, in its fact-checking recap of the president’s speech (interesting read), points out that the president is speaking true on this point (and most others … although some of them need to be read creatively).

I keep going back to this: W. was president for 8 years.  He stood up in front of Congress year after year and bragged about how well the war on terror was going and how Iraq was always under control.  Did anyone stand up and yell, “You sent our men and women to fight a war whose sole benefit was to line the pockets of the Vice President?”  No, they didn’t. And it would have been a far more intelligent thing to say.

In fact, this morning, both parties are at pains to remember any occasion on which a presidential address was interrupted in such a manner.  This is not the British Parliament.  We do not have a system that encourages smart retorts in Congress (and, let’s face it, it’s more fun to watch it happen with British accents.  The Brits are so much better at coming up with deep-cutting nasty comments that sound perfectly reasonable on face value).

I keep coming back to this: it’s obvious that the political rhetoric in this country is such that the president has to keep proving his worthiness of being in the office of president … the one that he was elected to, and by a much more definitive margin than his predecessor ever received in two terms.  It’s like people just assume that he’s less than human and not fully American, and it’s up to him to constantly prove otherwise.

In more amusing news, a California state assemblyman from Yorba Linda, one of the true champions of pro-family legislation (that would be pro-conservative definition of family, natch), resigned after bragging to a colleague about an affair without realizing that his microphone was on and that his comments were going out on public access television and preserved on tape for posterity.

Not only that, but it seems that this was his second mistress.  He wasn’t only cheating on his wife — he was cheating on his other mistress, too.

So much for pro-family values!  Although, he did put his money where his mouth is: part of the bragging included the revelation that he didn’t use a condom.  So maybe he’s a true Christian™ after all.  God wants babies!  They’re delicious!

Taste the Rainbow, Bitches!

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Bad joke from a colleague:

Q: What does a gay drive-by shooting look like?
A: A bunch of guys in a pink Ford Focus throwing Skittles out the window, screaming “Taste the rainbow, bitches!”

There’s been an awful lot in the press lately about the relationship between the Obama administration and gays (specifically, that there really isn’t one).

Andy Towle jumped on the bandwagon today, citing an appearance by Dan Savage on MSNBC in which the sex-advice columnist and go-to homo spokesman (who knew?) said that if he could give the Obama Administration a letter grade on GLBT issues, it would be an F.  By way of further discontent Andrew Sullivan is quoted in a scathing piece he wrote in the Atlantic about Obama’s administration.

I should point out here–because Towle didn’t–that I loathe Sullivan on a level that I normally reserve for the neo-conservatives who are gunning for my job and think that, as an employee of the University of Texas, I ought to be taking orders from the Central Intelligence Agency.  The simplest reason for this is that Andrew Sullivan is a neoconservative xenophobe.  Before he jumped on the anti-Bush bandwagon (which he did long after anyone with sense and reason had done so), he was a die-hard Bushite, supporting the invasion of Iraq and a “stone the Muslims before they stone us” foreign policy.  Just because he was never on the Obama bandwagon doesn’t make him any less than a bear in sheep’s clothing.

I don’t honestly have a problem with the outrage.  I just don’t share it.  When it comes to Obama and what he’s done for gay rights in the first 100+ days of his term in office, while combatting the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, trying to wind down the war in Iraq, trying to ramp up the war in Afghanistan and trying to figure out how not to get involved in a brewing civil war in Pakistan, dealing with a new, unco-operative adminsitration in Israel, a Congress that won’t play nice with itself, and get key Cabinet posts filled (among a few other things), I am … well, that’s just it.

I am reminded of a scene in Coupling where Steve, looking at fabric for sofa cushions, tells Jeff and Patrick, “I almost had an opinion about that one.”

I recall having a lengthy IM chat with my friend Michael back in primary season (gods, remember that debacle?) in which he expounded at some length his suspicion that Obama didn’t really care about gays.  (Which president has?)  On the other hand–and maybe this is really pollyanish of me–were people waiting in the wings to jump down Bush’s throat 100 days in about all the things he hadn’t managed to accomplish yet?  Part of me feels like there’s a lot of selfishness going on: everyone wants Obama to pay attention to their issues first.  It’s a logistical impossibility.

I’ll probably be stripped of my membership card and secret pink parking pass for saying that I just don’t understand the vitriol … yet.  It does, however, bring to mind some of the doubts that I had about Obama: I kind of wonder if he’s just too bloody nice to be president.  There’s something of Jimmy Carter about the man.  He who tries to make everyone happy makes no one happy.  Sullivan, Savage et. al. would argue that he isn’t making us happy, and I guess he isn’t.  Maybe I’m just happy that he’s not out to get us like the last guy was.

I’ve got other battles to fight closer to home, and I’m willing to wait a little while longer to see how things go.  But maybe not too much longer.

And I still think Sullivan’s a creep.

Somewhere in Texas …

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

… a village rejoices, for it has regained its long lost idiot.

I don’t want to write another mushy post about Obama.  Others have blogged longer and waxed more poetic about what the day means to them, and I don’t want to belittle their contributions by trying to force a contrived post about What Obama Means to Me.

Instead, let me share a reminiscence.

Cairo, July 2003.

It was my first trip back to Egypt since I had lived there in the mid 1990s, and I had just been ripped off in one of the most obvious schemes imaginable.  The young man who had waited on us at the restaurant had claimed that I had given him a 50 piaster note instead of a 50 pound note.  I knew which I’d given him, and I knew he was holding out for more money.  I knew that the problem was that my companion and I had started counting our remaining Egyptian money after paying the bill, and that we’d neglected to tip him anything, and he was angry that we had so much and couldn’t spare an extra pound or two for him.

I was pissed and embarrassed at myself for having fallen into the trap, and no amount of screaming in English or Arabic seemed to be making a damned bit of difference.  I knew why he did it, but I was angry anyway.

I had to go back to the hotel.  Heidi, one of my colleagues on this lengthy multi-country business jaunt had joined me for lunch in the Khan al-Khalili, the storied marketplace in the center of the oldest district of Cairo.  When I think about Cairo, I think about the area around the Khan – not necessarily the Khan itself, but the core of the city that dates back a millennia.

The rest of the group had returned to the hotel for a siesta, but I wanted a last chance to visit my favorite part of town, as we were in Egypt for barely 48 hours and I had a nearly physical need to cram in as much of it as I could.  And now I was unhappy because I’d been ripped off like a common tourist.

I was still seething as I hailed a cab from the not-moving traffic on Azhar Street and Heidi and I climbed in.  I told the driver where I wanted to go, and sat staring out the window.

“You look as though you’ll break the glass with your eyes, my friend,” the driver said, and I laughed. He gave a start: he’d said it in Arabic and not expected me to understand.  Here began a conversation I have routinely whenever I’m in the Arab world: how it is that the khowaga, the quintessential white boy, came to know our language and our country and culture.

As is the case with many Egyptian cab drivers, he was not a cab driver by training.  I’ve forgotten what he told me his actual profession was, but as we made our way through the early afternoon traffic back toward Zamalek and my hotel, he waxed poetic about many things.

It was July 2003, I was in the largest Arab capital, and my country was still in the process of bombing Baghdad.

The driver asked me where I was from, and I didn’t hesitate about telling him I was American.  Even in the darkest days of the past eight years, when we joked about changing the translation in our survival Arabic guide of “I am from America”  to “Ana min Canada” I never lied about where I was from.

This day, my cab driver was in a philosophical mood.  “Your president lies,” he said to me.  “He said that the reason your armies were in Iraq was to get rid of Saddam Hussein.  Saddam is gone, and your armies are still there.  Why?  What is the true reason?”

“I don’t know, ” I said simply.

“This man is not good for your country,” he went on.  “All peoples around the world, they felt sympathy for your country in Eylul [September].  We wept.  I have family in America.  I felt as if these planes were hitting me!  But now, we are all so angry at America because of what they do in Iraq.”

“I know,” I said glumly.

The driver looked in the mirror, eyes twinkling, and shook his head.  “Do not take it personally, my friend,” he said.  “After all, we did not vote for our president, either.”  This man, from a country that never had democracy and has even less of it now, was reassuring me, supposedly from the shining example of what democracy is supposed to be.  Although he meant it as a reassurance … and partially as a joke … it’s something that I’ve never forgotten.  Had we really sunk that low?

Yesterday, when I sat around the conference table at work and watched the new president address the nation–and I thought it was an appropriate speech; it may not go down in history as one of the greatest speeches of all time, but Obama said what we needed to hear–I watched with colleagues who’ve found themselves in similar situations.  I thought about all of the times since 2003 I’ve been in the Arab world.  Arabs love to discuss politics, but I’ve refrained.  I have no idea what my country is doing, and I can’t explain it, and I don’t want to defend it.

Barack Obama has been president for a little over 24 hours.  So far, with each executive order, I’ve felt my gut unclench a little more.  Sure, he could turn out to be ineffective.  He could be a flash in the pan.  The next four years could be marked by economic stagnation and turmoil.

But we elected him.  And I’m proud of that.

For Want of a Shoe

Friday, December 19th, 2008

By now, pretty much everyone on the planet knows about that pair of shoes that were lobbed at the President on his visit to Iraq last week. I’m not going to comment on the propriety of throwing shoes at world leaders, nor on the (apparently poor) aiming skills of certain Iraqi journalists.

I’m going to bitch about the media.

I went to a party the evening it happened, and overheard an acquaintance telling another partygoer, “You know, they said on the news that in their culture, throwing a shoe is the worst insult imaginable.” Realizing that I was nearby, heads turned to me. “Chris, you know those people. Is that true?”

Now, I don’t mean to be awful here, but can we step outside of the box for a second? The media did, for a bit, wet themselves in an attempt to get self-proclaimed culture experts in to discuss the seriousness of the incident as it is reflected in Arab culture. In fact, I witnessed a similar conversation here between two faculty members. “I just don’t think people understand how serious it is,” one of them lamented.

Here’s where Chris would like to offer some “get real” commentary:

The man threw a shoe at the President of the United States, arguably the most powerful man on earth. Who in their right mind would have watched CNN and thought to themselves, “Hmmm. I wonder if that’s some sort of greeting? Maybe it’s a benediction. Yeah, that’s it! I’ll bet that in Iraq people throw shoes as a way to make people feel welcome! Wait, here’s a culture expert … it’s an insult? They insulted my president? I never would have known that! Thank you, Fuad Ajami, for clearing that right up for me! I was about to go throw my shoes at my new Arab neighbors to make them feel welcome, but thanks to your two-bit commentary I know better! Man, that was close!”

Yes, throwing shoes is an insult in Arab culture, as is pointing the soles of your feet at people, but, really. Are we so clueless without the news media that we have to have someone explain the implications at us?

Fortunately, more serious things have come up in the media, such as a lively debate on the gender of Santa’s reindeer.

Times like these … I kinda wonder if the Unabomber had a point …

Reality check

Friday, February 29th, 2008

It was the end of the second of the two days that I spent coordinating a workshop for a group of army officers preparing to deploy to Iraq that the realization finally hit me. I’d brought in a lecturer to talk about Islamic law, and she was rattling off about hadith this and family law that, and a hand went up in the back.

“On a practical level,” the young officer asked, “here’s what would help me. Last year, on my last deployment, we found a woman’s body floating in the Tigris and her throat had been cut. We’re assuming it was done by one of the militias in the Shi’ite section. Is that a punishment that’s particular to a sect of Shi’ism? Is there something about the way she was executed that would help us identify who did this?”

And thus did silence fall upon the room as the young female lecturer attempted to process the question. After stumbling through an explanation about the extreme gravity of defiling the dead and the non-proscription of throat slitting in Islamic legal codes, we broke for a stretch break.

Afterwards, the young officer came up and apologized for his question, explaining that it was something he’d been wondering about. “We’re not sure what we’re looking at half the time,” he said. “These militias claim that they’re implementing Islamic law, and then you run into something like this and we have no way of knowing if this is just an act of brutality or if there’s some religious implication to it.”

Shortly thereafter, the lecturer, H, and I consoled each other about the awakening we’d just gotten. We live in a bubble, people like she and I. We research and study and talk about things that we can’t apply practically, and the people that need those practical applications — people like the officers we were talking with — don’t have the time to research and study.

I didn’t tell a lot of people about the workshop. There are a lot of people out there who get knee-jerky about things like “talking to the military.”We have a young man in our program who is rather heavily involved with the anti-war movement. I’m not particularly pro-war myself, but this young man went out of his way to organize a counter protest when other students invited one of the intelligence agencies to do an hiring information session on campus. I wished, at that moment, when the officer was describing the horror of finding the woman’s body in the Tigris, that he could have been there to listen to the discussion that went on. He might have learned something. I know I did.

I’m not sorry we worked with this group. On the contrary, I really hope that something we did or said will make a difference. It certainly made a difference to me. H commented later that it was very sobering to speak to a group of people knowing that some of them might not be alive next year at this time. I pointed out that that could equally be true for anyone, but at the same time I wish them well. For all the sodding mess that Iraq has turned into, they had such optimism that they could truly put things back in order, and I believe that they think they can do it. I certainly hope they can.

And now, I just wish I could get the image of the unnamed woman floating in the Tigris out of my head.

 

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