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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I\'m an opinionated, snarky, gay academic with a predilection for the history, the Arab world, languages, photography, food, and music. I live in Austin, Texas. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘michael’



Love and Marriage

Wednesday, June 3rd, 2009

OK, I’ll admit it: I’m really irritated with the headline currently on the home page of the University of Texas–”Gay Couples View Marriage as Legal Protection, Not Commitment Symbol, Study Shows.”

The story describes a study undertaken by researchers in the Department of Sociology, and includes this little tidbit:

According to the study, more than half of the respondents deemed commitment ceremonies as unimportant and pointless. However, all except for one of the participants said they would legally marry if they could, indicating the importance of legality for same-sex couples.

“Although trends regarding acceptability of ceremonies have shifted, most of the couples in our sample find at this point in their lives, formal public ceremonies are not practical or substantial enough in legal and social meaning to warrant their participation,” Reczek said. “However, if legal marriage were accessible, nearly all couples would participate for the legal, financial and social benefits.”

That may be the most romantic thing I’ve heard since a long-departed colleague married her longterm fiance because they were moving to another state and it would have been too much trouble to prove their common-law status so that she could get on his insurance.

I know that the spirit of the article is basically this: because of the newness of the idea of gay marriage, most couples have made a committment to each other in some way, either formally or informally.  Ray and I haven’t ever done anything formal, and we don’t wear rings, but I feel like we’ve made some sort of commitment to each other (haven’t we, honey?).  So, yes, among a certain subset of the gay population who’ve already made that commitment, the act of marriage really is just about making it official in the eyes of the law.

However, I’m waiting for someone out there–let’s say, a Bauer or a Dobson–will pick up this survey and wave it around as “proof” that gays are just trying to “redefine marriage” for the insurance benefits!  (I have the same problem with the phrase “redefine marriage” that I do with right wing Christians who proclaim that “Islam is trying to take over the world”–their real concern isn’t that gays will redefine marriage or Islam will take over the world; it’s that they’ll do it first, before they have a chance to do it themselves.)

Fortunately, Michael Steele (dear God, is that a porn star name or what?) has already decried gay marriage as a threat to small business for that very reason, so we don’t have to worry about the Republican party pushing civil unions anytime soon.

While, I suppose the survey isn’t saying anything that a lot of us don’t already know–but it doesn’t take into account the next generation who aren’t partnered up yet (the survey specifically looked at couples) who are looking at the gay marriage movement and are planning their lives accordingly. I guarantee that a good number of them aren’t going to be looking at marriage solely for the insurance benefits. Perhaps the next time our Sociology Department does a study on gay marriage, they could do well to remember that.

As it is, I have to wonder if they’ve done a bit of a disservice to the gay marriage movement.  Marriage may be about formalizing a relationship and gaining legal status before the law, but let’s not discount the notion of “relationship” in that equation.  After all, it’s the foundation upon which everything else is built.

God forbid he has a boyfriend …

Friday, May 15th, 2009

Off of what Michael said in his comment about yesterday’s post is the always amusing Jon Stewart taking on torture, campaign promises, and Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell: “So it was okay to waterboard a guy over 80 times, but God forbid the guy who could understand what that prick was saying….has a boyfriend.”

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Also off of what Michael said: why isn’t Cheney dead yet?  They made it sound like he was clinging to life when he was first appointed by the Supreme Court elected to office.  It’s 9 years later and he just … won’t … die.

Clearly he has the same friends with benefits contract with Satan that Britney Spears and Rachael Ray have.

Taste the Rainbow, Bitches!

Thursday, May 14th, 2009

Bad joke from a colleague:

Q: What does a gay drive-by shooting look like?
A: A bunch of guys in a pink Ford Focus throwing Skittles out the window, screaming “Taste the rainbow, bitches!”

There’s been an awful lot in the press lately about the relationship between the Obama administration and gays (specifically, that there really isn’t one).

Andy Towle jumped on the bandwagon today, citing an appearance by Dan Savage on MSNBC in which the sex-advice columnist and go-to homo spokesman (who knew?) said that if he could give the Obama Administration a letter grade on GLBT issues, it would be an F.  By way of further discontent Andrew Sullivan is quoted in a scathing piece he wrote in the Atlantic about Obama’s administration.

I should point out here–because Towle didn’t–that I loathe Sullivan on a level that I normally reserve for the neo-conservatives who are gunning for my job and think that, as an employee of the University of Texas, I ought to be taking orders from the Central Intelligence Agency.  The simplest reason for this is that Andrew Sullivan is a neoconservative xenophobe.  Before he jumped on the anti-Bush bandwagon (which he did long after anyone with sense and reason had done so), he was a die-hard Bushite, supporting the invasion of Iraq and a “stone the Muslims before they stone us” foreign policy.  Just because he was never on the Obama bandwagon doesn’t make him any less than a bear in sheep’s clothing.

I don’t honestly have a problem with the outrage.  I just don’t share it.  When it comes to Obama and what he’s done for gay rights in the first 100+ days of his term in office, while combatting the worst financial crisis since the Great Depression, trying to wind down the war in Iraq, trying to ramp up the war in Afghanistan and trying to figure out how not to get involved in a brewing civil war in Pakistan, dealing with a new, unco-operative adminsitration in Israel, a Congress that won’t play nice with itself, and get key Cabinet posts filled (among a few other things), I am … well, that’s just it.

I am reminded of a scene in Coupling where Steve, looking at fabric for sofa cushions, tells Jeff and Patrick, “I almost had an opinion about that one.”

I recall having a lengthy IM chat with my friend Michael back in primary season (gods, remember that debacle?) in which he expounded at some length his suspicion that Obama didn’t really care about gays.  (Which president has?)  On the other hand–and maybe this is really pollyanish of me–were people waiting in the wings to jump down Bush’s throat 100 days in about all the things he hadn’t managed to accomplish yet?  Part of me feels like there’s a lot of selfishness going on: everyone wants Obama to pay attention to their issues first.  It’s a logistical impossibility.

I’ll probably be stripped of my membership card and secret pink parking pass for saying that I just don’t understand the vitriol … yet.  It does, however, bring to mind some of the doubts that I had about Obama: I kind of wonder if he’s just too bloody nice to be president.  There’s something of Jimmy Carter about the man.  He who tries to make everyone happy makes no one happy.  Sullivan, Savage et. al. would argue that he isn’t making us happy, and I guess he isn’t.  Maybe I’m just happy that he’s not out to get us like the last guy was.

I’ve got other battles to fight closer to home, and I’m willing to wait a little while longer to see how things go.  But maybe not too much longer.

And I still think Sullivan’s a creep.

The Queen Boat, Reconsidered

Tuesday, November 11th, 2008

It’s been quite a while since I’ve written one of my long boring posts, so if you don’t like them, well, I’m sorry.

We had a guest lecturer on campus yesterday who got me thinking (which I am wont to do from time to time) about stuff I haven’t thought about in quite a while.  I’m not going to use his name because he made himself a bit infamous for reasons that have nothing to do with the talk he gave, and I don’t want people stumbling across my blog by seeking him out in Google.  If his topic sounds interesting, e-mail me and I’ll point you in the direction of his article.

The gist of his talk is something to the following effect: he argues that what he calls a “sexual binary”–namely that one must either identify as hetero- or homosexual–is a western notion that is being imposed on the rest of the world.  If this sounds post-colonialist, you’re not wrong (if you don’t know what post-colonialism is, don’t worry about it — I’m only passingly familiar with it as I think the concept that your thoughts have to be limited by a school of thought is kind of stupid).

His specialization is the Arab World, and his particular grief is that the West is imposing this sexual binary on the Arab World when human rights groups, NGOs, etc., identify a certain subset of the populace as gay or lesbian, even when those people may not identify as gay themselves.

For the record, I started having problems with this guy’s talk when he contradicted himself by suggesting that Arabs have learned the concept of being exclusively “gay” or “lesbian” from the West, but then later said that he knows there are Arabs who do identify as gay or lesbian and that’s OK.

Now, he’s not one of these guys suggesting that homosexuality is a western disease and that it’s an unnatural behavior learned from the West — what he’s saying is that in a good chunk of the world, sexuality is more polymorphous than a simple binary.  Men who are married to women and have children also have sex with men, for example, and that these societies have constructed space to allow this behavior.  What he’s arguing is that the insistence from outside that these people be recognized as “gay” and given rights that they’re not asking for is actually causing more harm than good.

And then he brought up the example of the Queen Boat.  The story is recapped as follows: in May 2001, police raided a nightclub in Cairo (the Queen Boat — it was one of the nightclubs that’s on a large boat that goes out for a two or three hour cruise on the Nile that are popular among tourists and Egyptians alike) that was a reputed gay hangout.  52 men were arrested and charged with debauchery (there being no law against gay sex in Egypt), and the trials spanned over months.

Several international gay rights organizations picked up the banner and pressured western embassies to take up the cause of Egypt’s “repression of homosexuality.”  The western gay press ran stories about “Egypt’s Stonewall.”

The problem was this: none of the men arrested identified themselves as gay, even under allegations of torture.  The gay press attributed this to a long-standing social stigma against homosexuality, but Our Speaker suggested another explanation: none of the men actually considered themselves gay.  Many, in fact most of them were married and had children.  Instead of being Egypt’s Stonewall, it was a trial that went nowhere, and with the exception of two men who’ve been in jail for years, most of them were free within a couple of months, badly embarrassed at having been accused of “licentious behavior.”  Several of them have since emigrated from Egypt (with wives and children).

Our Speaker argued that the international attention did more harm than good–Egypt at the time had no law against homosexual acts.  Parliament is now considering them, however, in response to the Queen Boat incident.

I was trying to digest all of this–I think he’s got a point, although I think there are problems with his analysis–when a friend of mine, an Egyptian doctoral candidate in history, raised her hand and made a counterpoint that I’d been waiting for.  The Egyptian government was, at the time, facing rising opposition from Islamist parties who were accusing the government of being corrupt and amoral, and were holding themselves to be the protectors of virtue.  Shortly thereafter, the Egyptian government sanctions a raid on a well-known gay nightclub that’s been operating for years and charges everyone on board with amoral behavior.  Coincidence?  She doesn’t think so, and neither do I.

Another example our speaker brought up was the novel/film ‘Omaret Ya’qubian (The Yacoubian Building), which was very popular the last time I was in Cairo in 2006.  Among the characters in the novel–which is a sort of Egyptian Peyton Place, following the lives of the inhabitants of an apartment building in downtown Cairo–is the self-identified homosexual character Hatem, who engages in a relationship with a Nubian soldier, Abed Rabbo.

Our Speaker argued that the novel is essentially Islamist in tone, even though the author clearly thinks he’s being very sophisticated.  Hatem, who lives alone and is the passive partner in the relationship (read: “bottom”) is identified as شاظ “shadh” (or “shaz,” as the Egyptians would pronounce it) which means deviant or pervert, but is also common street slang for gay.  (I started to have problems with his talk around this point, because he was saying that the book was mistranslated into English because shaz used to only mean “deviant” in a much broader sense, even though now anyone who reads the book would read it as “homosexual,” which the author is on record as having said is what he meant).

Abed Rabbo, on the other hand, is married and has a son, and is never identified as a shaz.  (Abed Rabbo later murders Hatem … well, it’s complicated).  Hence, Our Speaker puts forward the suggestion that the behaviour is only deviant because Hatem has sex exclusively with men, and exclusively in the passive role, for which he is “punished” with death at the end of the novel.

Again, he kind of has a point here, although I kind of think that Our Speaker would do well to review, for example, The Celluloid Closet for examples of early gay and lesbian characters in film, who almost always met a tragic end.  One of the explanations of this is that it helped anyone in the audience who was having conflicted issues about feeling sympathetic toward the gay character feel better when he or she “got what they deserved.”  Indeed, audiences who watched the film version of The Yacoubian Building were reputed to cheer Hatem’s death, even if they had been sobbing moments earlier when Abed Rabbo’s son took ill and died.

And then this got me thinking about Prop 8.  I know, it’s kind of crazy that thinking about the tenuous relationship between Islam and homosexuality in Egypt might have gotten me thinking about Prop 8 and the enormous backlash against the Mormons for funding it.  Believe me, I’m all for holding the church accountable for their part–but Californians actually voted for it.  I find it interesting (anthropologically speaking) that someone could stand in the election booth and vote for Barack Obama, arguably one of the most liberal Democrats to run for office in years, on the one hand while voting for Prop 8 on the other and see no contradiction.

What, I wonder, was the tipping point?  I don’t believe that it’s as simple as “the Mormons poured a bunch of money into the campaign and that’s why it passed” (note to Michael: I’m not saying that I don’t think it’s A reason, I’m saying that I don’t think it’s the ONLY reason.)

I don’t have answers to this, I’m merely posing the question: what made the people of what is, next to Massachusetts, considered the most liberal state in the Union decide not only to ban gay marriage but to retroactively alter the state constitution, thus potentially invalidating 18,000+ marragies already on the books?  The LDS campaign may have pushed it over the top (in fact, I’m fairly sure it did), but there was already a solid base to begin.

How could we have made history by electing our first black president and shattering the racial glass ceiling, but reaffirm separate-and-unequal status in several states all in one fell swoop?  Are we the sacrificial lamb being offered up?  “We’ll elect a black guy, but the immorality has to stop” — is that it? Trust me, I’m kind of used to it.  I live in Texas.

But it doesn’t make me happy about any of this.  It just makes me wonder what’s really going on here.

If I have any more thoughts, I’ll share.  You can, too.

12 of 12: July 2008

Saturday, July 12th, 2008

It’s time for 12 of 12 again!

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We’re having a fire ant problem in the house – they’re all over the kitchen and eating the bait right and left … and leaving crumbs in it, too.  Ugh.  They were all over the sofa when I sat down this morning – that was new, and I flipped out and went out to get the big guns:

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So, first thing this morning I spread out the fire ant treatment.  This afternoon, I found them in the dishwasher.  The dishwasher!

To borrow a line from a recent Hollywood B-movie, I’ve had it with these mother$*&#ing ants in my mother$*&#ing house!

Mocha

Mocha, as you can see, is significantly less interested in the ant problem.

Mocha and her Monkey

And here she takes a nap with her stuffed monkey.

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Ray and I got out of the house to go meet our friend Michael.

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We met up at Chuy’s, a local Tex-Mex restaurant best known for its jalapeno ranch dip (oh, and the time they busted Jenna Bush for underage drinking).

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After that, the three of us went to the movies – we went to see the new version of Journey to the Center of the Earth in 3D.

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For the record, the 3D is an extra $3.  I kind of agree with the New York Times about the movie: if it weren’t for the 3D, it would have been pretty bad.  So make sure that if you do go, you see it in 3D.  You get to keep the damned glasses, at least.  That almost (OK, not really) makes up for the ticket price.

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Back home, Mocha is agitating for a walk.  However, she had to wait because it’s flipping hot in Texas these days – we hit 99 degrees today (37 C).

For dinner, Ray and I went to a local Pho place that we like.  Ray attempted to emulate the pose of … well, here’s Ray:

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and here (this isn’t one of the 12) is the owner of a restaurant in Monterrey, Mexico, called “El Rey del Cabrito” who looks just a little too excited about the food his restaurant serves:

Menu

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Pho rocks.  heh.

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OK, so this might seriously be the most Texas photo I’ve ever taken.  Dairy Queen on a Saturday night.

Ray didn’t have to convince me very hard to swing by to pick up the “Blizzard of the Month” because this month it features Thin Mint Girl Scout Cookies.  Thin Mints are my weakness, they’re the thing that I have those stories about?  You know, the ones that start, “This one time when I was in college, I ate a whole box of Thin Mints … “

I ordered a small.  And it was goood…

Happy 12th, everyone!  Hey, take my if you haven’t done so already!

 

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