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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I\'m an opinionated, snarky, gay academic with a predilection for the history, the Arab world, languages, photography, food, and music. I live in Austin, Texas. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘mosque’



Homecoming, or, the incredible crucifix hammer

Sunday, June 26th, 2005

Cairo, about 85 degrees, partly hazy

We arrived back in Cairo yesterday morning, and it really was something of a homecoming. Back to the same hotel, with the overly friendly staff with their hands always out to help … or ask for a tip. maalesh as they say here – it’s just the way it is.

Yesterday was not a good day with the bus. We arrived at Rameses station bright and early – about an hour late; it was around 8 AM when we arrived. There was no bus to meet us. Our group managed to attract no less than 9 tourist police who went looking for the bus, and then rounded up taxis for the group. The group actually found the taxi ride fun, which was fortunate because we had to do the same thing when it came time to go to the Monastery of Barsoum el-Aryan in Helwan and the bus didn’t show up then, either. Laila from Fulbright was with us and her driver organized yet another taxi caravan down into the southern suburbs. When Laila finally got Hala, the travel agent, on the phone she did a much better job of exploding than I could because Laila can do it in Arabic. Also, Laila does lots of business with Hala, so I’m sure the decline in service quality was not unnoticed. When the phone was finally handed over to me there were lots of “reallys” in the apology from Hala.

Anyway. The monastery visit was surreal. We were greeted by an Egyptian nun with absolutely no personality whatsoever, whom we dubbed “Mother Superiorer,” because her general attitude was that she’s superior-er than you. Mother Superiorer reminded me very much of Lurch, the tour guide I had last summer at Topkapi Palace in Istanbul. “This is icon of Our Lord Jesus. Now we shift to new place.”

His Eminence Picenti, Bishop of Helwan and Ma’asarah was an interesting character. He rambled on at some length, reading for a while, then expanding on what he’d just said, and talking very, very quietly. At one point, he showed a map of the Holy Family’s trip through Egypt (the one not documented in any of the 4 Gospels that he insists are the basis of Coptic Christian beliefs), and there was some rustling about while a sheet was produced for the overhead, since the wood panel walls weren’t particularly conducive for an overhead projector. Then there was some fumbling with thumbacks, and His Eminence startled all of us by pulling out his large, heavy cross and using it as a hammer to nail the thumbtacks into the wall. It was like the proverbial fart in church – the giggle loop started and wouldn’t die. For me, the worst thing was that Kamran was sitting behind me and he was really, really trying (unsuccessfully) not to laugh – and since he never, ever does that, it was hard for me not to follow suit. The non-giggling continued for a while.

I won’t repeat the material of the lecture, since it was rather inconsequential. His Eminence did go on at some length about how homosexuals and women priests are the downfall of mankind, and there were a few quotes worth writing down, for example: “Woman is like the crown on the head of the man.” I’ll give the group credit – we waited until we got on the bus (which showed up an hour late to pick us up) until the incredulous comments started to fly.

Today, there were two lectures at Fulbright. I missed the first one, since I needed to print out the schedule and get some stuff taken care of. The second lecture was on Islam in Egypt by a Professor of Shari’a (Islamic Law) at Al-Azhar University, which is still the preeminent religious institution in the Sunni Muslim world. He was, in a word, fanstastic. I wish there were more people like him on CNN and less clips from the bin Ladens of the world. Some of the Islamophobia of the world might be a little less virulent if that were the case. Fulbright has definitely come through with the lecture program, and we’re not even halfway through.

The afternoon discussion session – mine – went well, too, although we got kind of silly toward the end. I invented an Egyptian peasant named Edna Mae who took on more characteristics than I expected her to, but what the hey. I got the point across. Kamran took Barbara back to the hospital, and they took 3 of her stitches out, and the other 3 will come out in 3 days. (Lots of 3s). Her leg is healing nicely, and they even cleared her to go swimming in the Sinai this weekend.

At any rate. Tomorrow we’re off to the Old City for the first time, with a visit to my ever-favorite place, the Mosque of Ibn Tulun. And I’m actually well rested for once!

The Day of No Restaurants

Saturday, March 19th, 2005

Saturday, March 19. Clear, 18 degrees.

Today, Kamran, Samer and I went all over creation in a misguided attempt to put some pictures together for a grant that we all got to do a learning unit. Yes, it was the day of the Super Troopers.

We started off in Old Cairo [GP:Old Cairo] – where it really all began way back when. Here one can find the turrets of the original Cairo settlement, a Roman fortress that may or may not have been called Babylon. There’s a bunch of old churches there, a couple of which are associated with the Holy Family during their flight into Egypt (the Roman prefect of Judea, Harod, having had the bright idea to kill all the firstborn sons). Also, there is one of the very few remaining synagogues in the city. It’s all being restored – I didn’t recognize the area, which I remembered as being quite different from the prim, well kept area flooded by French tourists who just kept coming off of busses like the flood of Noah. (Not coincidentally, most of the churches look like an Ark, wooden timbers and all.)

We also went to the mosque of Ibn Tulun [GP:Ibn Tulun], my very favorite structure in all of Egypt (see picture). The restoration effort is almost complete, and I gotta tell you, I don’t like what they’ve done. A few cracks make the old stick out a little more. The minaret is still being restored, thus depriving me of spectacular photos from the top.

Attached to Ibn Tulun is a little museum I’ve never been into before – the Gayer-Anderson house, most famously the scene of a fight between Roger Moore as James Bond and the immortal Jaws, He Of The Silver Teeth, in the utterly forgettable film “The Spy Who Loved Me.” The museum turned out to not be so little – it’s a fully restored merchant’s home from the Mamluk era (12th – 15th century) and was fascinating. Although I did get bored with Kamran and Samer trying to one-up each other with their efforts to read the calligraphic inscriptiong in each room. The museum derives its name from a British major general who lived there in the early 20th century on condition that he leave it to the state on his death. There’s an ever so slightly creepy air to some parts of the house – he was a little *too* fascinated with his Nubian servant boys (and I do mean boys) for comfort… Amusing sidenote: The Museum was a little on the expensive side, so I produced my UT ID and convinced the ticket guard to sell me a ticket at the student rate (half price). Kamran didn’t have his, so we paid full price for him. Samer, being Egyptian, wanted to get the Egyptian price (which is LE 2, compared to LE 15 for me and LE 30 for Kamran), but didn’t have his passport or National ID Card on him, so he sang the national anthem for the ticket guy. Oh, that was funny!

After Ibn Tulun came the great restaurant search. Rania had agreed to meet us for dinner at a Kebab stand in the area of the Sayyida Zeinab shrine. We taxied over there, and it turned out to be closed. So then we got back into our cab (with a Grade A Annoying driver) and went off to restaurant choice # 2. The trip took us through parts of Cairo none of us have ever seen before, and have no interest in returning to. A chicken nearly flew into the cab at one point, and I’m not exaggerating… Restaurant # 2? Also closed. So we went off to Restaurant #3, which was open … finally … as we were starving. After dinner, Samer suggested a coffee house, and – hey, guess what? Choice # 1? Closed. Poor guy. I gave him a little grief over that one.

Anyway. I’m too tired to think analytically. Today was fun. Meeting tomorrow, last minute shopping, then … well, then it’s time to go to bed really early to get up really early to fly home. How time flies …

Doing the Cairo thang.

Friday, March 18th, 2005

Friday, March 18. Sunny, 18 degrees, slightly hazy.

It’s the weekend in Egypt, where everything shuts down for the day of communal worship, and we spent the day goofing off in the old city. Kamran and I met up with Samer Ali (a prof at the Center who’s here on a research grant for the year) and a friend of his (a lovely woman friend who seems much better suited for him than his now ex-wife). We went shopping in the old city. Unlike my last trip, I actually made it down to the Khaymiyya, where the tentmakers live, and … well, let’s just say I had reverse sticker shock when I realized how badly I got ripped off when I was here two years ago. I spent a *lot* of money on an absolutely beautiful wall hanging (no idea where I’m going to put it) – Kamran didn’t want to spend that much, so I told him he can come visit it every once in a while.

It was a fun day. Hibiscus tea at Fishawi in the Khan al-Khalili [GP:Khan al-Khalili], the tourist bazaar that gets seedier every time I go there (although I’ve never had a repeat of my first visit, where someone tried to sell us hashish). Look in the mirror in the picture and you’ll see me with the camera, behind Kamran’s shiny head. He’s tall and completely bald, which makes him easy to find in a crowd.

Afterwards, we went and (and I’m really not exaggerating) played at the Mosque of Sultan Qaitbey [GP:Qaitbey] in the old city. Up the minaret, down the minaret, where does this staircase go? We had to bribe the doorman to get into the place, so we figured we might as well explore every corner, which we did.

After Barquq we went with Samer and Rania (the aforementioned friend) to a fish restaurant in Medinat Nasr, the suburban area where they both live and which Kamran and I sheepishly admitted to each other is a place we both ignored completely during our respective tenures here. Somehow, the “real” Egypt we always assumed was in the old city – yes, a million people live there, but there’s probably five times that many in the middle class suburbs with their wide boulevards and western fast-food outlets (my God has McDonald’s expanded here). So, as we ended the evening at an upscale coffee shop in Heliopolis [GP:Heliopolis] listening to western pop music (Italian superstar Eros Ramazzotti singing in Spanish) and drinking our way too big lattes with extra foam, we came to the realization that we’ve missed part of the experience. Better late than never?

Egypt has changed. The economic downturn that seems to have driven everything into a state of pessimism and depression in the ’90s has reversed. Business is up, the middle class is growing, and society is changing. The women in the old city – some of them were in niqabs with their eyes showing, yes, but others were wearing (albeit loose) pants. And color. And in Heliopolis, the girls were wearing headscarves made by Versace and Hermes. It’s an exciting time to be here. Oh, and the danger thing? The constant admonitions from everyone to be safe? “Oh God, I can’t believe you’re going over there?” Forget about it. The only danger I’ve faced thus far is from the reckless cab drivers, that I’m not being real careful about what I eat, and the possibility that I may drink enough Arabic coffee to jitter into another dimension. Other than that – this is Egypt, as friendly and happy to see me as it’s always been. That’s the kind of continuity I can deal with.

The more Cairo changes, the more it stays the same.

Wednesday, March 16th, 2005

March 16, 22 degrees (’round 74), sunny.

Good day today.

Thought # 2: Kamran and I work well together, and we travel well together, which is good considering that we’re going to be in charge of shepherding people around over here together.

The photo is from my hotel room. It’s some random mosque across the Nile in Agouza. I’ve never been over there, since it’s not the kind of neighborhood people generally go to see.

We met this morning and went for coffee to strategize before our first meeting. Kamran picked a coffee house around the corner from the hotel that’s straight out of a Naguib Mahfouz novel – sawdust on the floor, a bunch of sullen men in galabiyyas smoking shisha, television blaring out Egyptian pop music videos (which are no longer badly made, but still pretty cheesy). And me in my suit and tie. Yeah, I was Joe Khowaga through and through. But I did remember to stop drinking the coffee before the grounds got stuck in my teeth. I’m learning.

Our meeting at ARCE (the American Research Center in Egypt) was phenomenal. They’re friendly, they want to help, and at one point they actually offered to coordinate the entire thing for us. It took much self control not to get up and do the Happy Dance right then and there. We’re meeting with them on Sunday to work out some of the details.

Lunch: Kushari in Tahrir Square. The quintessential Egyptian experience, one I have missed so very very much. I can make kushari at home, but it’s not the same as getting it from the guy at the counter who bangs all the pan lids together in a rhythm that Emeril would never approve of.

After lunch was a meeting with John Swanson at the American University in Cairo. I think the most appropriate word to describe this meeting would be “useless.” I was somewhat disappointed – Swanson’s class at AUC was one of the highlights of my academic career and actually is serving as the framework for the program we’re working on here. His hands are a bit tied by the bureaucracy, and he did offer to help out in what limited ways he can, but it seemed that the majority of the meeting was him telling us what AUC WON’T do and giving several zillion reasons why. Kamran and I both left the meeting with the same attitude – thanks but we’ll figure it out on our own.

We also found a hotel. We compared several places in Zamalek, and found one that’s willing to charge $28 a night for single rooms, including the 27% Egyptian occupancy tax AND breakfast. It’s not the Ritz by any stretch – the rooms are basic and slightly worn, but it’s spotless. Even my mother would approve. The best part is that this now gives us $8,000 to redistribute in our budget to other things because I had budgeted for $50/night. At any rate.

We have another meeting tomorrow – at Fulbright. I’m not expecting much from this meeting, but we’re going to make the rounds and see what they have to tell us.

Kamran’s off calling his wife and I need to wrap this up because we’re going out to find dinner soon. The worst part about jet lag is that my stomach hasn’t caught up yet and I just always seem to be hungry. Ick.

Rulers of Heaven and Earth

Wednesday, July 28th, 2004

İstanbul [GP:Istanbul], mid 30s, clear skies

Today was the Istanbul bonanza, and I’m still trying to digest it all. Here’s a sneak peek, and I’ll come back through and add to this later when I’ve had more time to think about it.

It’s a bit ironic – I finally checked my e-mail yesterday and I got a message from Bhaji urging me not to rush through things here, and guess what we did today? Rush through lots of things. Bhaji, boy-o, you hit the proverbial nail squarely on the head with that one. Fortunately, I have an extra 5 days to go back and revisit.

For those familiar with İstanbul, read today’s itinerary and cringe: Sülemaniye Cami, Hippodrome, Blue Mosque, Islamic Art Museum, Hagia Sophia, Topkapı Palace, Grand Bazaar. Between 9 am and 6 pm. My head is still spinning.

Some initial impressions: I’m not sure why the Blue Mosque is called that (it’s officially the Sultanahmet Cami), since the dominant color didn’t seem to be blue. Impressive, oh my yes, but not really blue.

Hagia Sophia: Now I know why the Greeks still mourn the loss of the city 500 years later. I know why the departure board in Athens for our flight to Istanbul read “Constantinople” in Greek. I know why I’m currently imagining a quote and trying to ascribe it to Justinian to the effect of “Oh, that God has considered me worthy to build such a wonder.” The building is awe-inspiring – even by today’s standards, let alone with the 6th century when it was built. There’s nothing to do but stand with your mouth open and gape.

Annoying tidbit: I got shooed off of one of the wooden platforms looking for something to brace my camera against, but they have no problem with people using flash photography on 1000 year old frescoes and mosaics. There’s something a little screwy about those priorities.

Topkapı. I need to go back, because I didn’t see anything. We didn’t do the Harem as a group, and that’s the best part (or so I’m told). What a fitting residence for the most powerful man on earth (but dear God, do something about those clothes – they look like something Carson on Queer Eye would have recommended).

The end, in the Grand Bazaar, was anti-climactic since I sat with Ali and had an iced coffee instead of going shopping. I have plenty of time left to do that and was completely drained by the end of the day with no ability to deal with hawkers. Next week, Cathey and I are already planning to go back to half of the places we hit today just to take our time. (I think Topkapı has to take priority over Hagia Sophia – they’re both so expensive on your own, but I really wouldn’t mind spending … oh, a couple of months there….)

Meeting Gladys in a few, must wrap up. For now.

 

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