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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I\'m an opinionated, snarky, gay academic with a predilection for the history, the Arab world, languages, photography, food, and music. I live in Austin, Texas. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘politics’



Interpersonal politics in the post-Facebook era

Wednesday, January 28th, 2009

I am not the first blogger that I know of to point this out, but I’m going to take my turn at expressing what is at best enthusiastic ambiguity toward the Web 2.0 phenomenon that is Facebook.

I’ve been on Facebook ever since I was pretty much forced to join at the spear end of peer pressure a couple of years ago.  “All your friends are doing it!  Everyone who’s anyone is on Facebook!  You can reconnect with old friends you haven’t heard from in years!”  Fine, I thought, and signed up.

There is, of course, the part where Facebook is a phenomenal waste of time.  You can literally spend hours trolling through status updates and a ridiculous number of applications that let you do stupid things online right out in public where all of your friends and acquaintances can see you do them.  Where’s the fun in that?  Isn’t the whole point of the Internet that you can do those stupid things anonymously?  (“Deep Space 9 fan fiction?  I don’t know what you’re talking about!”)

It’s like having grandparents who want to talk about your sex life in detail.  (“Honey, your grandpa and I were wondering: are you a top or a bottom?”)  If it’s not all private and shameful, where’s the fun?

I’ve been inundated recently with a ridiculous number of requests from “birthday applications.”

Let me take a moment to just vent about how much I loathe these things.  Various Web sites have offered this service for years: input all of your friends’ birthdays and we’ll send them a personalized birthday card (meaning: one with their name on it) on their birthday!  Some of them even offered a notification service where they send you a message to remind you that it’s your friend’s birthday so that when they thank you for the card, you don’t look at them blankly and ask “what card?”

Apparently some enterprising genius took this idea and created an application to read the birth date off of your friends’ Facebook profiles and do the same thing.  It’s like the Web site, only you don’t even have to put in their name and birthday!  How totally cool is that?!  Then someone else had the exact same idea.  By my rough count there are now approximately 900 trillion such applications on Facebook,* and no two people seem to be using the same one.

I sort of have a blanket refusal policy on application requests anyway–no, I do not want you to help save the Amazon rain forest by accepting an icon of a tulip, nor do I think that it’s going to do a thing for the people of Gaza if I install an application that plays the Palestinian national anthem every time my profile is accessed–and I’m not going to install a bunch different applications so that I can get an automatically generated message on my birthday.  (The catch, of course, is that you have to install the application if you want to collect your birthday greetings.)  Woo-freaking-hoo.  I’m not that big into birthdays in the first place.

Over the past couple of months, my graduating class from high school appears to have all discovered Facebook at the same time.  Well, that, and a couple of people have joined who’ve been really active in starting conversation that involve a number of us (yes, Sarah, I’m talking about you).  It’s completely surreal.  To say that I’m not the same person that I was in high school would be an understatement of the sort that can only be matched by statements like, “Ethiopian food is like Indian food, only different.”

To her credit, Sarah has been very good at tracking down obscure members of our high school class and suggesting them to other people as new friends.  My problem is that, so far, I don’t actually remember who any of these people are.  I mean, the name kind of sounds familiar, but … did we have English together senior year?  Did I even take English senior year?

Then, of course, there’s the even more embarrassing awkwardness that comes from sending friend requests to people that I do remember … who don’t accept them.  “Oh, my god.  The popular kid doesn’t want to be friends with me.  Why doesn’t he want to be friends with me?  What’s wrong with me?” It’s just like being back in high school again.  Which I guess is appropriate, considering that I’ve been talking to a bunch of people I know from high school.

The good thing is that now I’ve got something to talk about with my therapist this week :D

*this may be a slight exaggeration for comedic effect.

Somewhere in Texas …

Wednesday, January 21st, 2009

… a village rejoices, for it has regained its long lost idiot.

I don’t want to write another mushy post about Obama.  Others have blogged longer and waxed more poetic about what the day means to them, and I don’t want to belittle their contributions by trying to force a contrived post about What Obama Means to Me.

Instead, let me share a reminiscence.

Cairo, July 2003.

It was my first trip back to Egypt since I had lived there in the mid 1990s, and I had just been ripped off in one of the most obvious schemes imaginable.  The young man who had waited on us at the restaurant had claimed that I had given him a 50 piaster note instead of a 50 pound note.  I knew which I’d given him, and I knew he was holding out for more money.  I knew that the problem was that my companion and I had started counting our remaining Egyptian money after paying the bill, and that we’d neglected to tip him anything, and he was angry that we had so much and couldn’t spare an extra pound or two for him.

I was pissed and embarrassed at myself for having fallen into the trap, and no amount of screaming in English or Arabic seemed to be making a damned bit of difference.  I knew why he did it, but I was angry anyway.

I had to go back to the hotel.  Heidi, one of my colleagues on this lengthy multi-country business jaunt had joined me for lunch in the Khan al-Khalili, the storied marketplace in the center of the oldest district of Cairo.  When I think about Cairo, I think about the area around the Khan – not necessarily the Khan itself, but the core of the city that dates back a millennia.

The rest of the group had returned to the hotel for a siesta, but I wanted a last chance to visit my favorite part of town, as we were in Egypt for barely 48 hours and I had a nearly physical need to cram in as much of it as I could.  And now I was unhappy because I’d been ripped off like a common tourist.

I was still seething as I hailed a cab from the not-moving traffic on Azhar Street and Heidi and I climbed in.  I told the driver where I wanted to go, and sat staring out the window.

“You look as though you’ll break the glass with your eyes, my friend,” the driver said, and I laughed. He gave a start: he’d said it in Arabic and not expected me to understand.  Here began a conversation I have routinely whenever I’m in the Arab world: how it is that the khowaga, the quintessential white boy, came to know our language and our country and culture.

As is the case with many Egyptian cab drivers, he was not a cab driver by training.  I’ve forgotten what he told me his actual profession was, but as we made our way through the early afternoon traffic back toward Zamalek and my hotel, he waxed poetic about many things.

It was July 2003, I was in the largest Arab capital, and my country was still in the process of bombing Baghdad.

The driver asked me where I was from, and I didn’t hesitate about telling him I was American.  Even in the darkest days of the past eight years, when we joked about changing the translation in our survival Arabic guide of “I am from America”  to “Ana min Canada” I never lied about where I was from.

This day, my cab driver was in a philosophical mood.  “Your president lies,” he said to me.  “He said that the reason your armies were in Iraq was to get rid of Saddam Hussein.  Saddam is gone, and your armies are still there.  Why?  What is the true reason?”

“I don’t know, ” I said simply.

“This man is not good for your country,” he went on.  “All peoples around the world, they felt sympathy for your country in Eylul [September].  We wept.  I have family in America.  I felt as if these planes were hitting me!  But now, we are all so angry at America because of what they do in Iraq.”

“I know,” I said glumly.

The driver looked in the mirror, eyes twinkling, and shook his head.  “Do not take it personally, my friend,” he said.  “After all, we did not vote for our president, either.”  This man, from a country that never had democracy and has even less of it now, was reassuring me, supposedly from the shining example of what democracy is supposed to be.  Although he meant it as a reassurance … and partially as a joke … it’s something that I’ve never forgotten.  Had we really sunk that low?

Yesterday, when I sat around the conference table at work and watched the new president address the nation–and I thought it was an appropriate speech; it may not go down in history as one of the greatest speeches of all time, but Obama said what we needed to hear–I watched with colleagues who’ve found themselves in similar situations.  I thought about all of the times since 2003 I’ve been in the Arab world.  Arabs love to discuss politics, but I’ve refrained.  I have no idea what my country is doing, and I can’t explain it, and I don’t want to defend it.

Barack Obama has been president for a little over 24 hours.  So far, with each executive order, I’ve felt my gut unclench a little more.  Sure, he could turn out to be ineffective.  He could be a flash in the pan.  The next four years could be marked by economic stagnation and turmoil.

But we elected him.  And I’m proud of that.

All over but the voting

Tuesday, November 4th, 2008

I’ve remarked to a couple of people this morning that I am actually feeling nauseous with anxiety over the outcome of today’s presidential election.

I was kind of this was the last time around, in 2004, when I was wholeheartedly in agreement with the oft-run photo of the British tabloid asking “How could [exact number of people who voted for Bush] be so stupid?” The idea of another four years of Bush was too hard to take, and–while I was one of the record number of people looking at the immigration Web sites for various other English speaking countries–what got me through it was knowing that there were only four years left.

Well, the four years are up. Back in the day, I thought to myself that John McCain would be a Republican president that I could live with, and maybe, to some extent, he still is. I definitely can’t live with her, however. No matter how silly Tina Fey’s dead-on portrayal on SNL is, what alarms me about her is that she’s opened the way up for every religious right nutjob and neoconservative policy wonk to declare McCain/Palin as “their” candidates.

I’ve had enough of the neocons. They’re after my job, you see, and I’d like them to go away.

The other thing that really has turned me off is the way that the Republicans have exploited the blatant xenophobia that’s been cultivated under eight years of Bush. All it takes is whispers in the hallway that Obama is Muslim to turn voters off of him.

So what? Muslims gave us algebra, the numbers we use, the ability to navigate across oceans. Muslim doctors provided Europe with medical textbooks that were still used in the 19th century. And they accepted the heliocentric view of the solar system long before the Europeans, and no one lost their head over it.

And, no, I haven’t forgotten 9/11. I just seem to be able to remember that 1,999,999,950 Muslims were NOT involved with the 9/11 plot as opposed to the 50 or so who were. One of those numbers is larger than the other. Kids, can you tell which one?

Oh, and let’s don’t even get started on the bit where politically Muslims and Evangelical Christians vote in a block on every major issue. Muslims are pro-life, in favor of the definition of marriage as between a man and a woman, pro-faith based initiatives, and would vote in favor of school prayer as long as provisions were made for non-Christian children to pray on their own. Heck, if the Dems were smart, they would have encouraged people to think Obama was Muslim and encouraged Evangelicals to think that this meant he was their candidate.

The other thing that I find ironic, by the way, is that the whispers about Obama being Muslim are completely incompatible with the other whispers in the hallway that his Christian preacher is a black supremacist — you can’t have it both ways, folks!

I was a bit stunned this morning when I read that there have been legal challenges filed against Obama’s eligibility to run based on rumors that he wasn’t born in the US.

Allow me to go on record: I don’t think Obama is perfect. Far from it. He’s a bit young. He’s a bit inexperienced. But if we’ve learned anything from the Bush administration, it’s that the president’s experience doesn’t matter if he surrounds himself with people that know what they’re doing, and Obama has definitely done that.

What does McCain have? Karl Rove and a woman who thinks dinosaurs ran around with cave men.

It’ll all be over soon. But I’m on pins and needles. C’mon, America. Prove we’re better than that. For once. Please.

My Civic Duty

Thursday, October 30th, 2008

On Tuesday night, Ray and I decided to exercise our civic duty and went to vote.  Here in Texas, we have early voting, and in our county (which is, I’ve learned, purple on the political map — not as red as some would like it to be, and not as blue either) all early voting is done on electronic voting machines.

I’ve read the stories about the voting machines and the errors and whatnot, but the experience seemed to be error free.  This shouldn’t be confused with “it was easy.”  No, with only four voting machines, we waited in line for nearly 10 minutes, and by the time we left, the line extended out of the room where voting was being held, around the corner, and was starting to snake down the hall.

I had a whiplash moment when a woman in front of us asked if the print could be made larger because she has difficulty seeing.  “No,” said the perky, helpful volunteer, “but we have a magnifying sheet you can use.”  I don’t know whether the woman was able to finally read for herself because my turn came next and my back was to her, but while I was standing there, the volunteer seemed to be reading the screen to her.

Seriously–at however many thousand dollars a pop, you’d think that one of the things they could work into the voting machines is the ability to make the font larger and, I dunno, text to speech.  Where’s the ADA when you need them?

I grow weary of this political campaign and am desperate for it to end.  Yesterday, Sarah Palin went after Obama for being associates with Rashid Khalidi, a professor at Columbia who, according to CNN, is “a harsh critic of U.S. foreign policy toward Israel and has accused the country of ‘occupying’ Palestinian territories.”  Apparently CNN is so afraid of the neocons that they have to put “occupying” in quotes because there’s no consensus on this point?  Give me a break.

By the way, in case anyone missed it, al-Qaeda is endorsing McCain.

I’m ready for it to be over, one way or the other.  I know which way I’d prefer (in case it’s not obvious), but it’s been four years of ridiculousness on the campaign trail, and four years of ridiculousness in the White House.  Either way, it’s going to be a 50% reduction in the ridiculous factor.

Are you ready?  I know I am.

Rising to the Challenge

Saturday, October 18th, 2008

Sam memed me.  What the heck, I was feeling short on inspiration.  I’ll deal with the psychological ramifications of responding to a challenge from a lad nearly half my age in therapy  :)

The challenge is simple: you’re supposed to list five things you’re addicted to.  

#1.  The Internet.

This one goes right at the very top of the list.  I’d never heard of the Internet when I first got to university and my World Politics TA, whose name I do remember but won’t list here, made us all learn how to use something called “e-mail.”  I learned how to use “e-mail” in October, but didn’t actually know anyone else who had it until the following spring.  

Nowadays, I get e-mail on my cell phone.  I actually find this annoying, because I don’t always want to have e-mail coming in on my telephone, especially on weekends off.  You can tell I find this annoying when I take my phone out of my pocket every time it gives that specific shudder vibration that indicates a new message has come in.

My mail is online, my photos are online, I’m connected to half of the known universe by blog, facebook, and flickr.  Friend me!

Yeah, I definitely think that qualifies as an addiction.

 

#2.  Shoes.

My name is Chris, and I’m a shoe whore.

I think I’ve admitted this before — I seem to recall having a length discussion about Danny’s inner Aztec goddess who threatened to eat his still beating heart right out of his chest if he didn’t purchase a pair of shoes.

I don’t actually buy shoes that often, but I have been known to purchase a pair and get home only to realize that I already own them (fortunately on all occasions I’ve been able to add “in another color.”)  The shoe section of our closet — which is far too small–is overrun.

 

#3.  Books.

“You know, you can get those for free at the library,” my mother is fond of saying, every time she comes over and sees the bookshelves.  She’s so not an addict.  The first time as an undergrad that I walked into a professor’s office and saw every wall lined with shelves sagging under the weight of books crammed in every which way, I thought, “I’m not alone!”

At this point, I have most of my academic books at work and my fun trashy books at home.  I’m starting to grow short on space for books at work, though, because I spend part of my budget on books for research. Granted, I haven’t picked up David Cook’s Martyrdom in Islam yet (I really can’t for thelife of me remember what I was doing that I thought it would be useful), but some of the others–Desiring Arabs, Ornament of the World, Muslins in Spain 1492-1611–I have devoured as quickly as humanly possible.  Hey, I’m a history geek.  I like this stuff.

At home, on the other hand, I’ve got The Devil Wears Prada on my night stand.  Granted, at the moment, I’m reading a trashy Egyptian novel by an author you probably haven’t heard of, but trust me: it’s trashy.

 

#4.  Food.

I know, we all need food to live.  If I’m an addict, we all are, right?

Well, here’s the thing.  There’s food, and then there’s food.  I am loathe to refer to myself as a “foodie” because a former coworker used to proudly call herself that.  Mainly, I think it was so that she could excuse her own bizarre tastes and self-diagnosed food allergies under a mask of snobbishness (“I’m a foodie” sounds so much better than “Eating onions gives me explosive diarrhea”).

Natalie’s friend Jacques–the one who took us to Teotihuacan and then out to dinner with his partner where I learned many interesting Spanish words–asked me if I was a foodie, and I said, “I wouldn’t say that I’m a foodie.  I just enjoy eating.”

“Well,” he said, “That’s what being a foodie is.”

So maybe I am a foodie.  I don’t know.  I like trying new recipes in my kitchen, and I like trying new foods when I go out.  Our pantry is stocked with spices I’ve only used a handful of times, and on very rare occasions we have to have a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner because a recipe I’ve tried has turned out very, very, very badly. 

But at least we tried it.  ;)

 

#5.  Photography.

I dithered about putting this one up here.  Am I trying to sound cool?  I wonder.  Then I think about all of the meetings and places that I have wandered into with my camera to the consternation of colleagues, my parents, my boyfriend, and people who have decided to just pretend they don’t know who I am.  I’m usually gracious enough to respond positively when they ask if they can have some of the photos later.

I don’t tend to take a lot of photos at home (although I think Ray would dispute that).  When I’m traveling, however, my camera is always with me.  Always.  We can be just going to dinner, and I’ll bring it along.  Something might happen that I’ll want a photo of!  When Natalie and I went to Puebla, I didn’t bring my camera to dinner and missed getting a photo of the chiles en nogada that we had for dinner the night we arrived.  I may never forgive myself.  We were seriously tempted to have them again just so that I could have the chance.

As much as I’m addicted to photography–and believe you me, when the Adorama weekly specials arrive in my inbox or the quarterly B&H catalog arrives in the mail, it’s like pornography–I still question whether or not I’m a decent photographer.  I’ve taken my share of decent photos, some of which I’ve liked enough to put on the wall in my office or at home.  But then I look at the photos of the pros–some of whom are barely out of high school!–and I feel inadequate. 

And then I pick up my camera and keep trying.

 

I think at the end of this, I’m supposed to tag others for the meme, but I don’t like doing that.  So, here’s the thing: if you do this, leave a message and link in the comments so I can keep track!

 

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