I’ve been in denial for the past couple of weeks about the fact that we’re entering the hot season (we really only have two seasons here: hot and Hell). Last weekend, however, I had to break down and ask Ray if we could turn on the air conditioning. It’s really not that hot, but it’s been really rainy and the humidity is horrific.
I’m working on a presentation that I have to give next month, and, thanks to the advent of the InterWebz I can download PDF versions of articles from academic journals without leaving my office. However, it became clear that there was a really useful book that lives only on the shelves of the HT section on the fourth floor of the Perry-Castañeda Library (how antiquated!).
And so, I had to revisit my summer preparation for crossing campus without acquiring massive sweat stains on my clothes. It goes something like this:
1. Take the elevator down to the 1st floor and leave my building via the service entrance door in the back.
2. Depending on the level of heat and/or humidity, I can either cross the street and enter the rear of Parlin Hall or I can walk up the hill. The stairs are on the outside of Parlin, so there’s not a huge advantage except that there’s air conditioning at the top of the incline.
3. Cross the South Mall and enter Batts Hall. Batts Hall connects to Mezes Hall which connects to Benedict Hall. There are internal stairs, but the air conditioning is extremely powerful. BONUS POINTS if students are making out, sleeping, or crying in the stairwells. EXTRA BONUS POINTS if the students making out are of the same sex, two or more students are spooning as they nap, or if it’s possible to determine without breaking stride why the student is crying.
4. Exit Benedict Hall through the rear door and take the footbridge across 21st Street to the Massive Concrete Monolith that is the UTC building. Take escalator to ground level. The escalator is external, but it’s an escalator and requires no physical effort on my part.
5. Walk the last few dozen meters to the entrance of the PCL. Determine that books with call numbers prefixed HT are housed on the 4th floor and take elevator up. Find desired book and spend some time investigating books filed next to it. Find a couple others that might be useful. One is in Arabic — most of it is in technical language that’s over my head, but the maps will be useful.
6. Return to check-out area, transact with underpaid work-study student who identifies the language of my non-English book as “Islamic,” then attempts to scold me when I inform her that the book is “backwards” (checkout slips go in the front cover — on a book written in a right-to-left language the slip would, to the casual observer, appear at first glance to inside the back cover) by saying, “Well, maybe that’s the front to them.” I consider pointing out that if I didn’t know that, I would have no reason to check the book out in the first place, but think better of it and leave.
7. Follow steps outlined above in reverse. Return to office and discover that all books I checked out are completely useless.
So far, I’ve come up with similar plans for just about everywhere on campus I need to go. It’s amazing the amount of air conditioning you can duck through ‘twixt here and there.
And, yeah … it’s Thursday




















