It’s Thursday morning, meaning that it is time for the Project Runway re-cap.

Around the office this morning, no one can believe that Vincent won last night’s challenge.  Of course Vincent won last night’s challenge.  Everything he makes looks like it was designed for a German senior citizen.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.
This week, I missed the first few minutes of the episode because we were catching up on the season finale of Work Out (speaking of SO MUCH DRAMA!!!).  While it’s entirely possible that Heidi said or did something cute (and scripted) in the three minutes I missed, I’m not going to lose sleep over it.

The challenge this week was that each of the designers had to design an outfit for one of the other designers’ mother or sister.  Due to one of those cruel tricks of fate (or, more probably, the producers), Jeffrey The Scary Narcissist got stuck with Angela Who Never Took Enough Drugs to be a Flower Child’s mother as his model.  Angela and Jeffrey are the two least popular designers on the show – she’s a total space cadet whose idea of accesorizing is adding little flowery buttons to everything, and he’s a … well, he’s a scary narcissist who makes boosts his self esteem by talking shit about everyone else.  He rubs everyone the wrong way, and everyone is just afraid they’ll get stuck working with her in a group challenge.

The whole group shuffles off to Tavern on the Green to meet this week’s celebrity guest judge and … oh my God, it’s DEATH!  I mean, it’s Michael Kors’ mother Joanne, who sounds like she’s never met a cigarette she didn’t like.

Then the fun begins with designers and models talking about their ideas.  You can tell right off the bat that Jeffrey and Angela’s mom are going to be fun together: she’s telling him what she wants, and he’s telling her that she’s stupid and has no idea what looks good.  You know, real bonding moments.

The rest of the episode goes fairly predictably: Angela’s mom is brought to tears by Jeffrey – she doesn’t like the color or the style of the dress he’s made for her, and his response is to tell her that the dress is fine – she just doesn’t have any taste (or something to that effect).  She goes off to the break room and starts to bawl and the entire cast of designers and models (save Jeffrey, natch) are off consoling her, and it’s a little voyeuristic.  The whole thing is like a train wreck: you can’t stop watching!  Here’s this sweet woman from Amesville, Ohio having a breakdown on national TV and I’m watching like I’m a dirty old man at a Britney Spears concert.  This is what Project Runway does to me…

As previously mentioned, Vincent — of all people — wins for making Uli’s mother look hip.  Of course, for all of his snippy comments about “Well, these young people can’t design for full figured women.  It’s just insulting – that’s who real customers are,” Vincent himself wound up with a model who’s still a size 2.

Robert loses for a dress that was boring – and he’s been boring too many times.  The man designs for Barbie, for God’s sake – there’s not a lot of room for detail on Barbie!  We’ll miss Robert, but not as much as Jeffrey, apparently, who is shown crying over Robert’s departure.  Earlier in the show, Jeffrey had made a nasty comment to the effect of “Well, I actually put thought into my dress.  I didn’t just cut a hole in a sheet and call it a poncho” — an obvious reference to Robert’s dress for Vincent’s way-beyond-zaftig sister, and then he’s sitting there crying to his mommy that “So many of them aren’t good people, but Robert’s a good person.”  What he means is “Robert’s the only one who still speaks to me.”

Ugh.

Next week, it looks like Angela is still pissed about Jeffrey insulting her mother.  I’d love to see a catfight between those two – the slapping would get real intense, I’ll bet.