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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I live in Austin, Texas, with my partner, Ray, and our child dog, Mocha. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘questions’



Confessions of an Arabic Learner

Friday, December 11th, 2009

The other day whilst trying to set up an appointment to discuss a project with our associate chair, she mentioned casually that she couldn’t meet one afternoon because she was supposed to be on Wisconsin Public Radio.

“Really?  Why?”
“I’m … not actually sure,” she said.  “They want to talk about learning Arabic?”

Well, the interview is now online, and it’s quite the doozy.  For those not inclined to listen to the whole 54 minutes, the first five will do it — it’s long enough to establish the following:

  1. The woman doing the interview is a complete idiot.
  2. The woman doing the interview did absolutely no research on how to pronounce the name of the book that she’s supposedly basing the entire interview around (“Al-Kitaab fi ta’alum al-’arabiyya” — she shortens it to “Al-Kitaab,” which means “the book” and would be pronounced as a mashup of the two common English words “kit” and “tab” as they are pronounced by Americans.  Not only can she not do this, she actually changes the way she pronounces it over the course of the hour several times).
  3. The woman doing the interview clearly did not ask one of her interviewees, Mahmoud al-Batal, how to pronounce his name, as she consistently pronounces it wrong (and, again, her pronunciation changes over the course of the hour) — which, I’m sorry, is a horribly egregious error.  I’ve had people make sure they’re pronouncing MY name correctly before, and my name is pretty damned easy.
  4. The goal of the interview is to make learning Arabic sound as difficult as humanly possible.  Whether this was the stated goal or not, I don’t know, but I was alternately amused and astonished by her inability to move beyond the fact that Arabic is read and written from right-to-left (and also to find out exactly why this is — including, if possible, assigning personal blame for it).

My favorite part of the hour is that you can practically hear the two interviewees looking at each other and trying to nonverbally work out how to respond without calling the interviewer a complete moron.

Anyway, for those who are so inclined, here are some reflections about learning Arabic that I’d like to share.  This is based not only on my knee jerk reaction to this interview, but from the 16 years of experience I’ve had being a white guy learning and speaking Arabic and responding to  questions from those who do not.

Things that are not actually difficult about learning Arabic as a foreign language.

1. The alphabet (more correctly in this case, it’s an abjad).  Arabic has an actual alphabet.  Each letter stands for a specific consonant sound.  It’s not written in characters.  Once you learn the alphabet–which took about three weeks when I started, but that’s because Arabic 101 only met twice a week–it’s a non-issue, and you don’t have to revisit it ever again unless you decide to take up a language that uses the same alphabet but has more letters (Persian, Urdu, and Malaysian, for example), in which case you’ll have to learn the new letters.  It’s really not that hard.

2. Arabic is always written in cursive — even when it’s printed or typed.  It was bewildering the first time that my Arabic instructor, having taught us the letters a, l, k, t, and b (ا ل ك ت ب) put them all together to form “alktab” (al-kitaab, الكتاب), “the book”.  You stare at it for about 10 seconds, and then it clicks.  By the end of the first class of 101, this is not an issue anymore.  I’ve done this with 6th graders.  They can get it.  It’s really not that hard.

Explaining this to Hollywood, on the other hand, is another story.  I’ve lost count of the number of times that I’ve seen Arabic text in the background that doesn’t connect — which, frankly, renders the text unreadable.  Most recently, some characters on the show “FlashForward” traveled to Hong Kong looking for Shohreh Aghdashloo (who must be desperate for work), and stopped by an Iranian restaurant she was known to frequent.  The restaurant’s sign was in English and Persian (written with the Arabic alphabet) … and the Persian letters didn’t connect.

I also once saw improperly formed Arabic tatooed on a guy in a Sean Cody video.  Poor guy.

3. Sounds that aren’t in English. Once you learn how to say them properly, you get over it.  However, contrary to popular belief, there are actually four H sounds in Arabic, and only one of them sounds like forming a spit ball.  The alphabet is fully phonetic — every letter has one sound.  And it’s always the same sound.  Unlike English.  Contemplate, if you will, the utter uselessness of the letters c and x sometime — both simply replicate sounds produced by other letters — x has no unique functions (it can be represented as “eks”), and c’s only unique function is in the syllable “ch” as in “choose”.  K and q aren’t as differentiated as they ought to be — as in, for example, the Arabic ك  and ق

4. Reading and writing from right to left. Although our interviewer gets hung up on this, it’s probably the biggest non-issue of them all.  It just is.

5. The lack of a “be” verb. There is no verb “to be” in Arabic (it’s a Semitic language quirk — there isn’t one in Hebrew, either).  “be” is implied.  To say you’re a student, you say, انا طالب, which is literally “I student.”  The “am” is implied.

Things that are more difficult about learning Arabic as a foreign language.

1. The non-writing of vowels. Like every other Semitic language out there (except, apparently, Amharic, which at some point gave in), along with a number of other languages that use abjads, vowels — specifically short vowels — are not written.  Normally this isn’t such a problem, however, to continue with our example, let’s look at ktb — كتب.  It could be “kutub” (books), it could be “kataba” (he wrote), or it could be “kutiba” (it was written).  You have to figure it out from context, which is a bit of an advanced skill.

2. The lack of cognates with English. The running joke when learning Spanish is that you can add “o” to the end of an English word and make it a Spanish word.  It’s usually not true, but it’s based on the number of cognates between the two languages — words that are similar enough in form and meaning that speakers of one can understand the other.  In Arabic, however, you can’t add “al-” to the front of an English word and make it correct — it’s kind of a crutch that the non-fluent but advanced speakers can use when speaking to a bilingual crowd so as not to break stride — I’ve thrown English words in when I don’t know the Arabic ones — but it doesn’t work in casual conversation.  The only cognates you’re likely to find are ones that were English to begin with: al-internet.  al-kumbyootir.  ad-dimuqraasiya. at-tiknuluujiya.

3. The lack of a “be” verb.  Where the lack of the be verb gets tricky is in the way the language has compensated for it — while there is not a verb for “to be,” there IS what my first Arabic instructor went to very great pains to make sure that we all understood was definitely NOT a verb for “to not be.”  Similarly, there is a not-verb for “to have been.”  Never mind that both look, smell, sound, and function like verbs in every other way, except, of course, for the fact that they’re not verbs.  Dammit.

4. There are no irregular verbs in Arabic. There are 500 regular verbal patterns, 495 of which only apply to one verb each.

5. Broken plurals. Similarly, there are lots of patterns for pluralizing words … and many of them are really irregular.  Grad students like to sit around and make up broken plurals for English to amuse themselves, which is how we decided a few years ago that the plural of “Bi-otch” is “Bowatchaa’”

6. Diglossia.  This is probably the biggest challenge for the learner of Arabic as a foreign language.  “Arabic” — the language that is taught in a classroom, is often Modern Standard Arabic, a constructed high language based on the language of the Qur’an (but not necessarily mutually intelligible with it).  It is grammatically rigid, nuanced, and eloquent.  It is not, however, what people speak in their daily lives.  Countries, regions, cities all have their own dialects that are based on MSA, but have been influenced over the centuries by other factors.

The Egyptian dialect–the one I’m the most familiar with–contains both words of Turkish origin (from the four centuries of Ottoman rule) as well as words of Coptic origin (Coptic is the language of the Egyptian Christian church, and is descended from the ancient Egyptian language).  In fact, I have a book on my shelf that outlines the number of words in Egyptian Arabic that can be traced back to the days of the pharaohs.  The Moroccan dialect, by contrast, contains a lot of words that haven’t been used since the medieval period in other parts of the Arab world, as well as a lot of Berber and French.

When I first arrived in Egypt as an undergrad, I had two years of Modern Standard under my belt and found myself unable to communicate with another living soul.  Those who could speak Modern Standard usually tired of hearing me struggle and would switch to English, which they usually spoke better than I could speak Arabic.

New textbooks now introduce dialect early on — as well they should.  I couldn’t even agree with people — I’d been taught to use the formal na’am, while most people in the eastern Mediterranean actually say aywa.

A few thoughts to throw out there — Arabic is definitely a challenging language, but the things that most people get hung up on aren’t even an issue.  Get over the squiggly letters and the right-to-left, oh interviewers of the world!

And, for God’s sake, quite trying to figure out whose fault it is … yeesh.

Bad Behavior

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

And so.

It’s been a while since I last posted, largely because I was buried under a mound of stress from a conference that I was working, and then sleeping a massive amount trying to recover from the experience.  I took Monday off and spent the entire day, I am not ashamed to say, buried in Uncharted 2: Among Thieves.

The conference was in honor of a long time faculty member who passed away last year, and I dare say that many of the personalities involved were quite accommodating and very low-key.  This was not the case with all of them, unfortunately.  I already ranted about the difficulties of Professors A, B, and C, and the drama kept on coming–at some points more visible than others.

Professor C deigned to show up only for her own panel.

You will recall that Professor C, whose sole raison d’etre is to make certain that people know that she’s in the room, and I had been at sparring odds rather frequently because she added herself to the conference program somewhat late in the game and would, when confronted with outdated publicity that did not list her, send me a caustic message inquiring whether she was no longer speaking and had not been informed of this.

The last occurrence of this was on Wednesday when the university-wide events bulletin was sent out and it did not list her specifically as a speaker.  It did not list any of the other 19 people on the program (it simply mentioned that the conference was taking place and gave the location and link for more information) however, this was completely irrelevant as the only person Professor C would have deemed worthy of mention was herself.  I may have sworn out loud in front of 35 or so high school students that I was hosting at the time when I saw the message — it’s all a bit hazy to me now.

When I briefed the panelists that we had discovered in the previous panel that the table microphones were extremely sensitive and that they would be best left in place, she piped up to make certain that I knew she was short.  (…. I don’t, either.)  As she was the third speaker on the panel, she took the time of the previous speaker to leave the dais and go somewhere else for 15 minutes.  And when I say left, I mean with clanking chairs and fumbling about for her handbag such that her co-panelist actually paused.  God knows where she went, but I assure you that even in academe, this is not terribly acceptable behavior.  One does not leave one’s own panel unless a) there are visible signs of seepage and b) we are already to questions.

Finally, we arrived at the time that Professor C was to give her paper.  I was, all things considered, eagerly awaiting this — for all the wrong reasons, naturally (or all the right ones, depending on your perspective).  I wasn’t disappointed.

Despite the fact that the conference was given in honor of a professor who had passed, those of us on the organizing committee knew full well that she (the late professor) would have considered it a phenomenal waste of time for people to gather and talk about how great she was (which she was, for the record).  So, we had made a conscious decision to get people together, but for the purpose of talking about the fields in which she worked and presenting original pieces of research that moved the scholarship forward.

So, when Professor C spent the first 20 minutes of her alotted 20 minute presentation time rehashing our late professor’s career and works to a room full of people who had been part of said career and works … well, it was a little funny. I particularly enjoyed her lavish fawning over a book that our late colleague had co-edited because, had Professor C attended any of the prior events, she would have known that a) the co-editor was sitting right in front of her and b) that she was mispronouncing the co-editor’s name (and badly).

She then spent the last 10 minutes of her 20 minute presentation recapping her own book (now 9 years old) and actively ignoring the panel chair’s attempts to cut her off.

None of the questions were directed to her.  So sad.

That evening, I got a little toasty over the reception which is why I was a bit surprised to discover that I was hosting the entire slate of guests for dinner at a nearby restaurant because none of the rest of the organizing committee decided they wanted to go.  This in itself would have been fine had not Professor A spent the entire reception inviting people to attend because “we have plenty of room,” whereupon 32 people showed up for the private room that we had reserved based on the fact that Professor A had assured everyone that we would not exceed 25 attendees.  Things got awkward.  There was drinking.

And Professor E, who I know slightly and may have mocked on occasion for her astoundingly fake and inconsistent British accent but is, all things considered, a nice person and a phenomenally gracious hostess, saved my ass by rising to the occasion and delivering a knock-out of a toast that totally removed the awkward feeling from everyone else and got spirits flowing and the good times rolling, and I take back everything snide I’ve ever said about her and then some.  Hell, I’ll start speaking with a Welsh accent if it’ll get me down that road of social ease.

And so, I have lived through the experience, am starting to recover, and am even happier not to be going out of town today like I was originally supposed to.  All things considered, things could have gone much worse.

Now it’s time to refocus and direct my energies to that which I have neglected, including this blog.

And yes, children, I do know where the hidden “strange relic” is located on level 6.  And I’m not telling :D

Good Lord, Kill Me Now

Saturday, October 10th, 2009

It’s Saturday morning.  It’s cool outside (54 degrees! — 12 if you speak Celsius), and I am relaxing with a cup of Cafe Yaucono that I brought back from Puerto Rico and ran through the French press this morning.  (Does anyone know if they make automated / programmable French presses?  Cos I could totally get into that…)

Ray commented last night that I am neglecting my blog (I wouldn’t say I’ve been neglecting it: it’s been hacked twice in the past two weeks and I spent a good chunk of Tuesday locking it down to prevent a third occurrence).

But here’s why: there’s a big conference coming up at work at the end of next week, in honor of a professor who passed away last year.  Since the summer, I’ve been wrangling an organizing committee (a bit tantamount to standing up cooked spaghetti) consisting of dear colleagues who want to honor said professor.  Read another way: the organizing committee consists of people who have massive personalities and are capable of causing all sorts of massive drama.

Professor A, one of the two co-chairs, is a sweet guy, but bizarrely capable of getting his feelings hurt very easily.  He also displays an innate tendency to bring an issue before the committee, which is discussed and agreed upon in a meeting where he takes no notes, and then goes back and reports something different to the people involved.  For example: “How long should the Thursday keynote speak?”  We decided that the talk should go no longer than 30 minutes as we don’t want the event to go longer than two hours.  He then reported to the keynote speaker that she should be prepared to speak for 30-40 minutes, and would have 20 minutes for questions.

Seriously.

Professor B, who is the professor who sent the nasty message that put a sour spin on my last few hours in Cairo over the summer, has since then actually been very easy to work with.

Professor C is a handful.  I believe my facebook status earlier this week read, in reference to her, “She’s such a pill that if I could bottle and market her, I’d be a millionaire.”  She’s written one book that won tons of awards–as well it should: she spent TWENTY YEARS writing it.  Her main goal in life is to make sure that people know that she’s in the room.

How this all plays out is as follows:

Thursday morning.

A drafts the program for the conference and sends it around.  It’s formatted wildly, so I spend a good chunk of time reformatting it and pass it around.  It takes two hours for someone to notice that all of the panel chairs are wrong and another hour for someone to notice that half of them are at the wrong times.  When this is expressed, Professor A responds that, “Well, I didn’t have my notes in front of me, so I just made things up and figured that someone would catch the error.”

I choose, for political expediency, not to respond by pointing out that it might have been more useful for him to make a notation to that effect, or, heaven forbid, actually say, “Hey, I don’t have this information on hand, can someone fill it in?”

B asks if the program and poster can be sent around electronically so that everyone can send it out on their listservs.  The program and poster are online, so I send out a message containing the links to the files.

B then responds that … well, never mind.  It’s too much work for her to download the files (also, she wants to know if the 11X17 poster and the 8.5 x 11 program can be put in the same document), so, as I’m getting ready to go to a meeting, I quickly send off the poster and the program to everyone as an attachment.

In my haste, I send a slightly older version of the poster.  The only difference between this version and the new version is that one speaker isn’t included on the list of presenters.  Unfortunately, said speaker happens to be …

Professor C.  Who writes me exactly 30 seconds later complaining about this, and then asks me, “Shall I just plan not to speak, then?”

Allow me to say it here: !!!!!!FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!

I feel better now.

When I get back to my office, I send out the “new” poster (which Professor C has already found online, because there were approximately 47 new messages waiting for me detailing every moment of her exhaustive search for a document whose location I had already sent out, but let’s give Madame Indiana Jones credit here because she wants it).

And so, we’re set.  Right up until we discover that A has scheduled someone for a panel on Friday morning who was originally told he’d be talking on Saturday, and isn’t arriving until Friday afternoon.

I know that Thou Shall Not Kill is one of the big 10, but … surely there are exceptions, aren’t there?

Vignettes

Sunday, July 19th, 2009

I’m back home in Austin.  I flew home on Friday, a long day that involved a lot of nodding off in odd places.  I had to leave for the airport at 1 am, so there wasn’t any actual sleep (I tried to nap a little in my hotel room, but I kept jerking awake out of fear that I’d oversleep).

As usual, the Cairo Airport luggage cart mafia got the last word: As I was standing in line to go through security (in many international gateways, you have to go through X-ray with your luggage before you get to check-in), I was asked which airline I was flying.

“Turkish,” I said.
“This line is for Olympic,” he said.  (For the record: this is BS.  The ticket lobby is wide open once you go through security — there is no “this line is for this airline, and that line is for that airline.”)  I knew where this was going, but before I could stop him, he’d grabbed my luggage and started walking at an extremely fast pace across the terminal to the next checkpoint over.
“You give me money now,” he said.”  He wound up with 1 Egyptian pound and 1 US dollar — the last cash I had on me.

I may have mentioned this before, but it’s worth saying again: I hate Cairo Airport.  It’s a pit of snakes.

Fortunately, there were better moments on this trip.

Al-Azhar at Night

One evening, I suggested to a friend who hadn’t seen much of the city besides the campus where he was studying and the apartment where he lived that we visit the old city in the evening.  The snakes who run the Khan al-Khalili bazaar tend to be a little less venomous toward the end of the day.  Shortly out of the cab, I wandered over to the newly restored area between the Wikala and Madrassa of Sultan al-Ghori, which I hadn’t seen since the restoration was complete.  While looking at the new roof over the area, a man wandered over to us and struck up a conversation.  His English wasn’t the best, so the conversation took place primarily in Arabic.

It turned out that he was working on the restoration project, and after a few moments, he offered to show us around.  I’m normally leery of offers like this as they tend to end with a bill being produced, but he seemed pretty genuine and kept insisting that he wasn’t doing it for baksheesh.

For the next two hours, we wandered the back streets south of al-Azhar mosque.  Granted, he showed us a lot of craft workshops that made things neither of us were interested in buying, but it didn’t seem to bother him.

The only point where money entered into the conversation was when we went down to Bab Zuwayla, the southern gate to old Cairo that dates from 970 AD.  The mosque of Shaykh Moizz li-din Allah adjoins the bab, and for a little bribing, you can get the caretaker to let you up on the roof.

_MG_3752

As we were up on top of the mosque, with its view of the old city and the cliffs of Muqattam that border Cairo to the east, the muezzins began making the call to prayer (the azan).  From our vantage point, you could hear muzzein after muezzin chanting from the city’s four thousand mosques, the sounds echoing off of each other and weaving into a great chant that is, to me, one of the most quintessential sounds of Egypt: prayer, street activity, and traffic.  How Cairo.

As we descended, he asked us to make a donation to the mosque, which we were happy to do.  After that, it was back to the main street where he’d met us, with a handshake and a good bye.  I gave him a little Austin lapel pin that I had left over from the trip to Turkey, and with that we were on our way.

The next day, I returned to the old city on my own to wander all over creation and shoot some photos.  I came on my own deliberately, as I know my interest in architecture and little alleyways is not shared by many … OK, most … of my friends.  I’ve learned that it’s better to just come on my own.

There was a slightly ugly incident near Bab al-Nasir, one of the two northern gates of the city.  As I was passing a small food stall, the guy working the fry station practically threw a piece of ta’amiyya (Egyptian felafel — it’s made with fava beans instead of chick peas) at me.  The next thing I knew, I was being bodily pulled into the restaurant, made to sit at a table, and plates of food that I didn’t want were placed in front of me.  I just wasn’t hungry, and I wasn’t entirely comfortable, as I imagined that this exchange was going to end with an outrageous bill being presented.  I wasn’t wrong.

The conversation started off nicely enough, with the usual, “Where are you from?  What’s your name?” questions, and a bit of bizarre cross cultural communication took place when it was revealed that I apparently have the same first name as The Undertaker from WCW(?).  There was a moment of admiration of the bandana that I carry as a sweat rag.  This is nothing new, and I’ve learned to carry spares.  These were given out -  I had enough for all the guys in the stand, but then things got ugly.

“I’ve got a kid,” said one of the guys.  “What do you have for him?”
“Um … ” I looked in my camera bag.  To my shock, he actually reached in and pulled something out, and I smacked his hand, and snarled at him.  The phrase Leh keddah literally means “What’s this?” but said the right way it connotes “WTF, dude?”  I eventually parted with a hotel pen that I’d picked up somewhere in my travels, and then decided it was time to make my exit.  I was presented with a bill for 30 pounds ($6 – which is probably a 500% inflation over what a local would have paid) and then everyone started asking for a tip.  Fortunately, by this time, I was far enough outside the restaurant that they couldn’t block my way, so I pretended I couldn’t understand and walked away.

I was irritated by this experience, and kept trying to calm myself down by reminding myself that I hadn’t spent that much, when a woman wearing a niqab (the face veil with a slit for the eyes) came up to me, motioning with her hands.  She was a beggar.

The guys at the restaurant had taken all of my small bills, and I just didn’t have anything.  I did, however, have a bag of leftover ta’amiya and french fries.  “I don’t have any money,” I said.  “Would you like food?”

She looked at me, puzzled.  “You speak Arabic?”  (This was an odd comment, considering that I’d spoken to her in Arabic, but I’m used to it.  There’s something about looking the way I do and speaking Arabic that just causes brains to short circuit all over Egypt).
“Yeah.”
This was followed by the usual questions about where I was from, etc., and I gave her the food and headed off.  At which point she asked me if I wanted to take her photo — a bit of a startling question from a woman in a face veil!

I headed down through the Khan al-Khalili as quickly as possible and crossed the bridge to the relative safety of the other side.  My plan was to walk down through Bab Zuwayla and then down through the Khan of the tentmakers and through the neighborhood beyond.

This is an area that’s not frequented by foreigners, but if my presence caused any consternation, it didn’t show.  A couple of boys asked me to take their photo.

Boys

I’m ashamed that I don’t remember their names.

The only incident happened further down the street.  I stopped to snap a photo of a mosque, and the guy working at a street cart selling pots and pans, asked me, “What are you taking a photo of?  I don’t want any photos of me!”
“I took a photo of the mosque,” I said.
“The mosque?” he asked.  I showed him on the LCD panel on my camera, and suddenly the scowl was replaced with a big smile and a thumbs up.

And that was it.  So much for the seething anti-Americanism on the Arab street.

Even that night, when my friend and I came back to see the Sufis and visit the newly lit up monuments north of the Khan al-Khalili, it was a mixture of ignorance and cheerful questions.  And the monuments do look incredible at night.

Shari'a Moizz at Night.

And so.  When I got to Cairo, I remembered thinking, “How am I going to fill up this time?”  By the time it was over, it seemed like it went so quickly.

Which is not to say that I wasn’t ready to come home.  Probably the ugliest moment on the entire trip occurred the morning before I left, in the form of an e-mail from work.  Someone on the organizing committee of a conference I’m working on sent a message that was so ugly that it actually brought tears to my eyes.  By the time I saw the message, several others had weighed in, and there was a message from my boss asking me not to respond to it because, “I’ve already told her in no uncertain terms that this message is completely unacceptable.”   Even so, it put me in an absolutely foul mood, and my brain has been wandering back to it ever since (12 hour flights are great for stewing).  It was a nasty reminder of things waiting for me when I go back to work tomorrow.

And so.  I have vague memories of the plane taking off from Cairo at 3:30 am on Friday, and equally vague memories of the plane landing in Istanbul.  I found a bench to sleep for part of the 6 hour layover in Istanbul and conked out again for a good chunk of the flight from Istanbul to Chicago.  (The two bottles of wine served with lunch might have helped).

And now, I’m home where it’s hotter than it was in Egypt!  But I’m happy to be back with Ray and Mocha and not spending a lot of money all the time — Egypt has gotten significantly more expensive over the past couple of years.  The economic recession has not been kind there.

All the same … well, I’m not planning my next trip back yet, but it’s always in the back of my mind.  That’s just kind of the way I am.

Goodbye to all that

Tuesday, December 9th, 2008

No, it’s not another funeral post. I have, however, held off for posting for a few days — I’ve been waiting for inspiration on a topic that didn’t strike me as completely inappropriate considering the number of people who’ve arrived here looking for BJ’s obituary.

I commented in my therapy session yesterday that I’ve been in a pretty decent mood lately. I’ve been productive and energetic at work, and the doom and gloom of the past few months seems to have lifted. I won’t go into the details here, as there are some things that don’t need to be out in public, but the past few months have been very difficult, both personally and professionally. I don’t want to jinx it by saying, “Phew! It’s over!” so instead I’ll say, “Phew! I seem to be moving past it!”

I’m really happy that I’m finally energized at work again. I’ve been in the doldrums for a while, feeling completely uninspired and listless. Natalie and I have finally come to terms with the fact that our project that’s been on life support just needs to be cryofrozen and revived after the summer. Maybe next year will look better — either way, this is a shit-tacular time to be trying to raise money for educator training. Perhaps if we were, say, applying to the Dublin municipal council for a grant of €350,000 for faerie lights to hang all over the place we’d have better luck. Who knows?

I’ve been busy putting together little projects for myself: an art exhibition here (we only need $18,000 for that one, and for some bizarre reason when you’re doing stuff with art it’s rather easy to raise money), and a program in Turkey there.

Yes, it looks like I might get myself to Turkey this summer, which raises the question: should I take some extra time afterwards to jet down to Cairo? I haven’t been in three years. I need my fix. I need to spend a day getting lost in the old city, eat my fill of kushari, and purchase my weight in paper products at the Diwan bookstore. Oh, I guess I could stop by and see Mike and Cindy, too. If there’s time between the kushari and the mosque hopping. With me that’s a big if.

The other question, of course, is whether or not I should instead go to Greece for the very long overdue visit to my extended family, whom I haven’t seen since 1996. Even as I’m thinking about what to type next I’m already coming up with reasons not to do it: by July, the weather in Cairo is nicer than it is in Athens; I have more personal freedom in Egypt on my own than I do under the watchful eye of my second and third cousins in Greece; etc.

I wonder if this could all be related to the fact that, unlike in 1996, I actually speak passable Greek now (with a decidedly Cypriot accent), and am trying to avoid the questions that can now be put to me directly rather than through my cousin Nick’s poor English (yes, I have several cousins named Nick … including a female cousin, Nicoletta. We’re Greek. Stereotypes exist for a reason.). Questions such as: “When are you getting married?” (and the numerous permutations thereof that every gay boy dreads when they know that coming out of the closet isn’t really an option) and “How come you went to Cyprus for two weeks and Turkey for a month and Egypt four times in the past decade and haven’t called once?”

Gee, does anyone else sense a preference for Egypt? Ugh.

Anyway. I guess where I’m going is that this week I’m actually feeling pretty upbeat and I know enough to enjoy it for once. Maybe it’ll catch on. I’m sending out the feelin’ good vibes to my cyberpals who need it, like Shin and Matt. And for once without hokey Christmas puns! Go me!

And maybe my new laptop will be waiting for me when I get home :grin: . Hee.

 

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