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Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I live in Austin, Texas, with my partner, Ray, and our child dog, Mocha. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘racism’



Just Can’t Take it Anymore

Monday, September 7th, 2009

It’s been a while since I’ve posted.

In all honesty, I’m a bit tired of the same old aimless blogging.  This outlet is no longer as anonymous as it used to be, and, in true “careful what you wish for fashion” I’m in a conundrum: I have more readers, but they’re people that I know.  Some of them don’t always seem to be familiar–either with the concept of exaggeration for comedic effect, or with my tendency to use it liberally.  Some of them are likely to approach me in the hallway (either a literal hallway or a metaphoric one) and ask me about something I’ve written.

In the case of literal hallways, it’s even more alarming: I’ve written things about my work environment that are predicated on a good number of my coworkers not knowing that I have a blog.  Some people are good about keeping the secret, others … less so.

And so, I’ve tried to keep my liberal rants and raves to a minimum in the hopes that I won’t offend anyone.  And in doing so, I’ve made myself rather bored with the whole concept.

Well, I’ve got a rant.  And if it offends you, tough.

For a while, I’ve been trying to put my finger on my feelings about the current political situation in the country.  And, frankly, it’s not just a political thing although what set me off today is political in nature.

We have guaranteed freedom of speech in this country.  The problem that I’ve noticed is that as a society, we don’t practice responsible freedom speech.  Americans seem to think that if they have a thought on their head, it needs to be stated out loud.

At the moment, we have this whole situation going on with President Obama: the man has the gall to want to speak directly to schoolchildren to encourage them to stay in school.  The nerve!  Doesn’t he know that as a bona-fide secret Muslim who was born in Zanzibar* and is trying to convert the entire country to Socialist Fascism** that good right-wing American Christians will see right through the AntiChrist’s ploy to brainwash their children.  After all, Memaw and Naydell left school after the fourth grade, and they turned out just fine!

Seriously.

Our last president … well, let’s put it this way.  In eight years, he took the entire nation to war with one country that had something to do with 9/11 (sorta) but that wasn’t spectacular enough for the news media … or his popularity ratings.  So, we decided to go to war with another country that had nothing to do with 9/11 and posed absolutely no threat whatsoever to the United States–this second war was justified on the presentation of completely false intelligence that the White House, it has been revealed, practically made up.  As part of said invasion, it was revealed that our infantrymen were involved in torture of sensitive prisoners, and graphic humiliation of non-sensitive prisoners.  We went from having a balanced budget to one so far in the hole that it’s hard to fathom … and, oh, by the way, started the whole corporate bailout scheme that everyone seems to have forgotten about and now blames on Obama.

Let me say this: I have lost my enchantment with Obama.  I have.  I’m starting to think that the best chance the Democrats have to keep the White House in 2012 is for Obama to not run again.

That said, where was this level of vitriol and anger at Bush 43?  I hated the man — hated him.  For all of the reasons mentioned above, and much more.  To his dirty rotten core.  But if he’d spoken to schoolchildren about the importance of education, I would have made a joke that the speech would be titled: “Stay in School!  Don’t turn out like me,” and let it go.  I wouldn’t have petitioned the school board to either not show the speech or change their policies to allow children to skip school during it.

What we’re hiding here is racism, pure and simple.  People don’t like Obama because he’s an educated black man.  It’s not nice to say that we don’t like him because he’s black, so we make shit up.  He’s Muslim.  He’s socialist.  He’s fascist.  He’s Zanzibari Kenyan.  But, no, really it’s not because he’s black.  We’ve evolved.  (But only metaphorically — we don’t use that term to suggest that we believe in Evolution.  We all know it’s much more likely that an invisible guy who lives in the sky snapped his fingers and made the entire universe happen in six days.)

Moving beyond politics: Americans really do think that they can say whatever they want — which they can, but without any sense of appropriateness or decency.

Take, for example, an experience that I had in El Paso a few weeks ago.  Natalie and I delivered training to a group of 70 people.  At the end of the day, as we were proceeding to the rental car with our things, we reflected on the day.  “It seemed to go well,” she said to me.  “People really seemed to enjoy it.”
“I think so too,” I said, “but I noticed that there was at least one evaluation that seemed to be straight 1s down the line.”  [Our evaluation forms consist of rankings on a 1-5 scale: 1 is "strongly disagree / poor / strongly dislike."]

Natalie then did what we’ve learned over the years that you should never do.  While standing in the parking lot, she pulled out the collected evaluation forms and started going through them.

I should say this.  The number of negative evaluations was somewhere around 4.  Of 70.  Far outnumbered by the number of overwhelmingly positive evaluations.

However, the negative evaluations were really negative.  Like, nasty on a personal level toward the two of us.  One of them, for example, went into pedantic detail about what a poor speaker I am because I said “um” and “ah” too much during one of the presentations (which I had prefaced by saying, “I haven’t done this one in a couple of years, so bear with me”).  I won’t even repeat some of the other comments because, well, they’re not worth repeating.

We sat in the rental car (yeah, it was a dry heat, but 102 is 102, especially when the sun is shining directly on you) in shocked silence.  “So much for professionalism,” I said.
“What on earth would make someone think that it’s OK to say these things to someone?” Natalie asked.
“I … have no idea.”

The coordinator of the event contacted us last week to see if we could set up another date for later in the fall or spring.  “All in all, I think it went very well,” she said.

Natalie called to ask if there was any way to respond in a way that would both convey our enthusiasm and willingness to continue working together, while making reference to the unacceptable and inappropriate nature of some of the comments on the evaluation forms.  “No,” I said.  “It’ll make us seem petty.”

My guess is that the reason people say nasty things is the disconnect of the written word: it’s easier to write it out and not have to deal with the repercussions of watching what you say hit home.  I work with a professor like that: in person, he’s the sweetest, most generous guy.  Put an Ethernet connection between him and the rest of the world and he becomes the sadistic lovechild of Dorothy Parker and Jason, the machete wielding villain of the Friday the 13th movies.  I’ve never heard him use the f-word in person.  I’ve never read an e-mail from him that didn’t contain it.

Why are we, as a people, so unaffected by the notion of the effect that the words we write have on others?  Why do we think it’s OK to engage in such awful diatribe?  Have we really lost the ability to debate civilly without resorting to name calling, innuendo, and wild accusations?

In other words: what’s wrong with us?

*Yes, children: in 1961, Mombassa, which is now in Kenya, was part of the sultanate of Zanzibar.  It became part of Kenya in 1963.  I strongly suspect that the reason why no one in the birther movement knows this is because they all think Zanzibar is a made up place like Wonderland, Narnia, or Canada.

** Quick primer: fascists are on the extreme right side of the political spectrum; socialists are on the left side–and not that far to the left, either.  You think they’re farther than they are because American “liberals” are what, in most countries, are called “leftist-centrists,” meaning that they’re just to the left of the center on the political spectrum.  Socialists and Fascists do not like each other as a matter of course.  It is not politically possible for Obama to be a socialist while pursing a fascist policy.  It does not make you look smarter to try to use both terms together and pretend that they mean the same thing.  They don’t.  And it makes you look even more stupid than you are.

Here (I hope we don’t) Go Again

Thursday, April 19th, 2007

As I mentioned in my last post, the full implications of what happened at Virginia Tech sort of missed me while I was on vacation, and they’ve made themselves cleared to me since I’ve been back at work. Among the eight zillion messages that were waiting for me in my inbox were a number from university higher-ups expressing their sorrow for what happened, announcing a candlelight vigil in remembrance of the victims, and a completely obnoxious message apparently intended to make us employees at what used to be the nation’s largest university feel safer because our new alarm system would alert us to any danger on campus. It’ll work well, provided you don’t happen to be in the same classroom with the guy with the gun. :???:

Even more unsettling than watching my own university’s administration use the tragedy as a means to justify its spending money on a campus-wide alarm system was the following headline in the New York Times: “Korean Americans Brace for Problems in Wake of Tragedy.”

My first reaction to the headline was: Why should they need to worry about this?

My second reaction was: Here we go again.

I mentioned my wish to have been camping on 9/11 in my last post. I wasn’t. I was working my job, right here in a department chock full of Arabs, Muslims, and other people who routinely get mistaken for them, and I watched what happened. I watched the young women remove their headscarves. I watched the young men become fastidious about shaving every day. I watched our foreign students come in every day with fear in their eyes to see who had gotten the summons from the INS to come in for the mandatory interviews that were suddenly required of male foreign students in the United States from a long list of countries with mostly Muslim populations. I knew one politically active Pakistani student who was convinced that he would go to the interview and be immediately deported. The morning he went to his appointment, he kissed his wife goodbye and told her, “I’ll call you from Lahore.” He was amazed to find himself back home in time for dinner. All of this because he happened to be one of the one billion, one million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand people in this world who profess the same faith as the perpetrators of 9/11 but had nothing to do with it.

And of course, today, if one goes to a bookstore — pick one — and visits the religion section, there are now all sorts of books there to help you understand that the Middle East is one screwed up place, and the reason for that is that people who live there are born that way. Any semblance of nuance and deep thought went straight out the window some time ago. There’s so much crap out there that I stick mainly to the fiction section these days.

We like sound bites. They don’t make our head hurt, and then when the evening news is over, we can turn over to what’s really important: who’s next to get cut on American Idol (or Project Runway in my case. I’ve never really gotten in to American Idol.)

The thing that gets me is that, as atrocious as I find it, I can even understand — on some level — the post 9/11 unease. But why on Bob’s green earth should any Korean person in this country (other than the gunman) be even remotely associated with what happened at Virginia Tech? I don’t get it. I just don’t. (Then, of course, there’s the other problem that the sorts of people who would make those associations probably won’t be able to tell the difference between Koreans and other people of Asian descent.)

Why are we, as a society, so freaking obsessed with finding some hidden racially-, religiously-, or societally- related motives for the horrific things that happen? The supposedly religious motivation behind 9/11 has been played up so much that its deeper meaning has been lost. To whit: a fringe group within the Islamic world is attempting to gain power by claiming that the West is a threat and that the appropriate way to deal with it is to turn inward and reject all things “western” and “modern” as subversive — thus placing power in the hands of those who are proponents of this viewpoint. This fringe group then goes and attacks the West — the US, Spain, and Britain — so that the West will retaliate militarily, thus proving the point — in the eyes of those behind the attacks — that the West is a threat so that they can score some credibility points with the people they’re preaching to. Don’t get me wrong — this is some fucked up shit. (This is all spelled out in the excellent (and now-Pulitzer winning) book The Looming Tower: The Road to 9/11 by Lawrence Wright, which I can’t recommend highly enough.)

So, I get it. I do — in that case. But how does a mentally unstable gunman represent all of Korean society? Are we supposed to make some sort of weird connection that mental instability is somehow ingrained in Korean DNA? Why would anyone even make that connection? I just. don’t. get. it.

So, here’s my big question: As we (the West in general, the U.S. in particular) become more multicultural, and as we supposedly become more tolerant, are we actually changing minds? Or are we just propagating an atmosphere that is so intolerant of intolerance that certain attitudes that are now politically incorrect lay dormant until some tragedy happens, and then, just for a moment, those who espouse them have their chance to let it all out?

And if that’s the case, have we really progressed … at all?

Here (I hope we don’t) Go Again

Thursday, April 19th, 2007

As I mentioned in my last post, the full implications of what happened at Virginia Tech sort of missed me while I was on vacation, and they’ve made themselves cleared to me since I’ve been back at work. Among the eight zillion messages that were waiting for me in my inbox were a number from university higher-ups expressing their sorrow for what happened, announcing a candlelight vigil in remembrance of the victims, and a completely obnoxious message apparently intended to make us employees at what used to be the nation’s largest university feel safer because our new alarm system would alert us to any danger on campus. It’ll work well, provided you don’t happen to be in the same classroom with the guy with the gun. :???:

Even more unsettling than watching my own university’s administration use the tragedy as a means to justify its spending money on a campus-wide alarm system was the following headline in the New York Times: “Korean Americans Brace for Problems in Wake of Tragedy.”

My first reaction to the headline was: Why should they need to worry about this?

My second reaction was: Here we go again.

I mentioned my wish to have been camping on 9/11 in my last post. I wasn’t. I was working my job, right here in a department chock full of Arabs, Muslims, and other people who routinely get mistaken for them, and I watched what happened. I watched the young women remove their headscarves. I watched the young men become fastidious about shaving every day. I watched our foreign students come in every day with fear in their eyes to see who had gotten the summons from the INS to come in for the mandatory interviews that were suddenly required of male foreign students in the United States from a long list of countries with mostly Muslim populations. I knew one politically active Pakistani student who was convinced that he would go to the interview and be immediately deported. The morning he went to his appointment, he kissed his wife goodbye and told her, “I’ll call you from Lahore.” He was amazed to find himself back home in time for dinner. All of this because he happened to be one of the one billion, one million, nine hundred ninety nine thousand people in this world who profess the same faith as the perpetrators of 9/11 but had nothing to do with it.

And of course, today, if one goes to a bookstore — pick one — and visits the religion section, there are now all sorts of books there to help you understand that the Middle East is one screwed up place, and the reason for that is that people who live there are born that way. Any semblance of nuance and deep thought went straight out the window some time ago. There’s so much crap out there that I stick mainly to the fiction section these days.

We like sound bites. They don’t make our head hurt, and then when the evening news is over, we can turn over to what’s really important: who’s next to get cut on American Idol (or Project Runway in my case. I’ve never really gotten in to American Idol.)

The thing that gets me is that, as atrocious as I find it, I can even understand — on some level — the post 9/11 unease. But why on Bob’s green earth should any Korean person in this country (other than the gunman) be even remotely associated with what happened at Virginia Tech? I don’t get it. I just don’t. (Then, of course, there’s the other problem that the sorts of people who would make those associations probably won’t be able to tell the difference between Koreans and other people of Asian descent.)

Why are we, as a society, so freaking obsessed with finding some hidden racially-, religiously-, or societally- related motives for the horrific things that happen? The supposedly religious motivation behind 9/11 has been played up so much that its deeper meaning has been lost. To whit: a fringe group within the Islamic world is attempting to gain power by claiming that the West is a threat and that the appropriate way to deal with it is to turn inward and reject all things “western” and “modern” as subversive — thus placing power in the hands of those who are proponents of this viewpoint. This fringe group then goes and attacks the West — the US, Spain, and Britain — so that the West will retaliate militarily, thus proving the point — in the eyes of those behind the attacks — that the West is a threat so that they can score some credibility points with the people they’re preaching to. Don’t get me wrong — this is some fucked up shit. (This is all spelled out in the excellent (and now-Pulitzer winning) book The Looming Tower: The Road to 9/11 by Lawrence Wright, which I can’t recommend highly enough.)

So, I get it. I do — in that case. But how does a mentally unstable gunman represent all of Korean society? Are we supposed to make some sort of weird connection that mental instability is somehow ingrained in Korean DNA? Why would anyone even make that connection? I just. don’t. get. it.

So, here’s my big question: As we (the West in general, the U.S. in particular) become more multicultural, and as we supposedly become more tolerant, are we actually changing minds? Or are we just propagating an atmosphere that is so intolerant of intolerance that certain attitudes that are now politically incorrect lay dormant until some tragedy happens, and then, just for a moment, those who espouse them have their chance to let it all out?

And if that’s the case, have we really progressed … at all?

The smell of racism in the morning

Tuesday, March 6th, 2007

Well, this was a fine how-do-you-do first thing this morning. I arrived at work to discover the following flier hanging on the front door to the building where I work (click for larger view):

FIJI Flier

Michael beat me to the punch on bringing it to the attention of The Powers That Be:

Linda Millstone (Equal Opportunity) and Soncia Reagins-Lilly (Dean of Students):

I hope that this email sparks concern.

Attached, please find a copy of what appears to be a secret flyer produced by the Phi Gamma Delta “FIJI” Fraternity specifically targeting minorities as undesirables, using slurs, in some instances, to hammer home the point.

I am not a student of UT, but I AM an employee. This flyer was posted on the front doors of the West Mall Building (where I work) for me and everyone else arriving at work this morning (3/06/07) to see. It appears that the posting may have been done by someone else who is equally disgusted by these outrageous, backwards policies.

It is my hope that the University will act quickly to censure this kind of nonsense or at least publicly distance itself from it. I am a proud UT staffer. It is very unfortunate that this university runs the risk of public humiliation at the hands of a few bigoted individuals.

Please reply acknowledging your receipt of this email so I know where this matter rests and whether or not I may need to take further action.

I greatly appreciate your involvement.

So, I could only tag on to what he said (probably better than could I):

I see that my colleague has beaten me to the punch on this — and more eloquently than I could have done myself.

I would like to add my voice to his in raising concerns about the document in question, which I also saw posted on the front door of the West Mall Building when I arrived this morning.. If the document is, indeed, genuine, then steps need to be taken to censure the group that produced it.

I spent Saturday working at Explore UT, an event designed to showcase the University’s programs and offerings in all of their diversity, an event in which I am proud to take part each year. I would find it significantly more difficult to devote my time and energy to such an event if I knew that at the same time the University was also supporting student groups that espouse contradictory philosophies. In fact, I would find it more difficult to support the University at all were that the case.

Thank you for your time and attention to this matter.

It will be interesting to see if and where this goes …

Update: The first round of responses is back. The Office of the Dean of Students has been assigned the issue (or so we’ve been told by the Equal Opportunity folks), and their response is: Thank you for contacting the Dean of Students Office regarding this issue. I have forwarded this information to the appropriate staff members in the office. We certainly understand and share your concerns. We are in the process of taking the fliers down and investigating their distribution.

Again, it will be interesting to see if this goes anywhere.

Home Sweet Home

Wednesday, January 10th, 2007

I’m back in Austin, sitting at home with the dog wandering over repeatedly to sniff my feet. I’m exhausted – somehow the drive back is always longer than the drive there, although we actually made the trip in less time. I haven’t unpacked yet, but I’ll get around to it … eventually.

It’s been something of a whirlwind trip down to the Rio Grande Valley and back, and it was unusual in that these trips are usually rather enjoyable and we have a great rapport with the folks that we work with in Brownsville — and in fact that was the case this time around.

What was different was that we added a day to work with a new group of people in a town barely twenty minutes up the road from Brownsville in a place I’ve code-named San Alguien (there are lots of places named San or Santa something in the area, so it seems fitting). They may be only 20 minutes apart, but the experience was like night and day.

The group that we worked with was very conservative — we’ve come to expect that in traveling around the state. Bush jokes go over very badly in some parts, so we don’t tend to make them unless a clear Democratic vibe comes out of our audience beforehand. However, what we weren’t quite expecting was the level of … racism is too strong a term, and elitism is not quite on the mark either, but something in that vein. (Co-ethnic superiority complex, maybe?)

The reason that we weren’t expecting it is that we were in a community that is clearly predominately Hispanic (their term, not ours). In fact, most (if not all) of the people we worked with were Hispanic, which made it all the more surprising when the discussion got going and it was revealed that although they may be Latino in origin, they consider themselves to be much, much, much better than the Latinos on the other side of the Rio Grande. And they needed us to know it.

For example. One lady – who had strong opinions on everything and wasn’t afraid to share them – informed us that she had taught in Brownsville, but had to leave because the school district was too large and, in any case, “every car dropping kids off in the morning had Tamaulipas license plates.” (Tamaulipas is the adjoining state on the Mexican side of the border). At another point during a discussion on migration (legal migration, for the record), she informed us that there is a fleet of fishing vessels who ferry illegal immigrants from Mexico up the coast to Corpus Christi … and can make the 120 mile trip in an hour and a half. (Must be some boats!)

After lunch, I got cornered by another gentleman who asked me what my opinion of “the situation in Farmer’s Branch” is. I had no idea what he was talking about at first — Farmer’s Branch, an upper middle class suburb in the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex, passed a resolution in city council that imposes stiff fines on anyone who rents to, hires, or does business with illegal immigrants. Having been to the Valley before, I know that a lot of people down there have mixed pasts and that many of them have students who are the children of illegal immigrants or family members on both sides of the border and they’re generally very sympathetic on issues related to immigration. In any case, I wasn’t terribly comfortable with the conversation (although I managed not to rub my nose constantly, which is my usual physical response), so I muttered something about “I’m sure it’ll be struck down soon.”

Oh, no. This fine, upstanding gentleman in front of me does not wish it to be struck down. He wishes that more places would pass such laws so that “they’ll stop sneaking over.” Before I had time to process this fully, he then proceeded to launch into a lengthy explanation of how discrimination does not come from bias.

At this point, I began making a futile attempt to look for Natalie, hoping that she would come and rescue me, but she had very conveniently wandered into the hallway and was pretending to be fascinated by a bulletin board covered in student work.

Now, two things. First, as a gay man, I can’t actually agree with that statement … although I didn’t actually state this, since in professional settings I don’t reveal my sexuality (and, for anyone who wants to argue the need to be out and proud in any and all settings, my response is: YOU stand in front of a bunch of football coaches in rural Texas and queen out. Go on. I dare you.).

Second, when I asked him where discrimination does come from, somehow the question was never answered. (And third: of course he can take the moral high ground. He looks white, he’s straight, and he’s a man. At no point in his life has this individual ever experienced discrimination.)

It was definitely an interesting day from an anthropological perspective, after which Natalie and I got in the car and drove back to Brownsville where we had dinner with our contact there and vented over multiple margaritas. It’s left both of us a little shaken, I think, because it’s one of those things where you hear about people who think this way but never expect to find yourself in a room full of them … We’ve been all over the Valley, but this was a definite first.

At any rate. I have, of course, come up with lots of witty and intelligent responses to all of this since, but it’s one of those things where you can’t quite think of an appropriate response at the time.

Ray has come home and I should engage in matters more mundane and domestic. I’m letting myself off the hook for the evening and will resume deep thoughts tomorrow…

 

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