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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I\'m an opinionated, snarky, gay academic with a predilection for the history, the Arab world, languages, photography, food, and music. I live in Austin, Texas. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘summer’



12 of 12: September 2009

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

Howdy, 12ers!  How was your month?

Down here in Central Texas, we’ve been in a severe drought for the past two years.  We also had a record number of days this summer over 100 degrees F (~38 C).  So, today, when it turned out to be gray, rainy, and rather chilly (72 degrees ~ 21 C), no one complained much.

It’s raining!  It’s raining!

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This was not, however, the unanimous opinion of everyone in our household.

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Some dogs love to play in water.  Mocha does not.  She is terrified of standing water (we still tell stories about the time we took her down to Wimberley to play in the Blanco River.  We finally picked her up and deposited her in the foot-deep river and she proceeded to clamp on to Ray’s leg and wouldn’t let go.

This applies to rain, too.

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*wistful sigh*

Ray went off to take a test for his online Texas government class (did you know that all college students in Texas are required to take a course in Texas government?  I didn’t — I only did my master’s here.  Thank God it doesn’t apply to graduate students, because I’d have been pissed to waste my money on that … )

I watched Top Chef.

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It’s funny how, after Top Chef, I was hungry.  Fortunately, it was lunchtime.  Flatbread pizzas!

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Mid afternoon, the rain slows down.  I realize that I’m not sure Mocha has been outside to “take care of business” so to speak, so I went out in the yard to try to coax her out.

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Rain drops on the oleander.

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And here’s my dog, having made it five whole feet off the porch into the yard, ready to bolt at the sign of any threatening raindrops.

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Back inside, Mocha decides she’s bored.  Really, really bored.  If you own a dog, you know that this is not her problem, it’s ours.

And, yes, that is the hand-knotted silk Kayseri rug that I brought back from Turkey.  She loves it so.

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OK, the first thing we have to do is KILL THE PURPLE BEAR!!!

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And then we (that would be me and Ray) have to throw the purple bear.  Over and over and over.  Mocha’s not so good at bringing it back, but she’s pretty good at catching it.

My, that was exciting!  And when YOUR life gets exciting, it’s good to have the people at Mutual of Omaha Messina Hof Vineyards to turn to.

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And, so, as the day winds down toward dinner and a movie, I take a break to update the maps on my GPS and discover that Sarah McLachlan is on Austin City Limits.  (Sarah McLachlan was on campus three buildings over and I didn’t know about it??  I am totally straight for Sarah.)

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… and that’s my boring, rainy day at home.

And how was YOUR 12th?

Ramadan Kareem

Thursday, August 27th, 2009

So, I’m sitting at my desk eating lunch.  My office door is closed, and there’s a knock.  I thought I heard the voice of the other Chris in the office, so I opened it, figuring he was either coming to share gossip or ask me for something.

I open the door in mid-chew.

Instead of Chris, I found Yetkin, the guy who organized the trip to Turkey over the summer.

I cover my mouth, and mumble through food, “Hi!  How are you?”

And then I remember that it’s Ramadan.  Yetkin can’t eat or drink during the day.  And here I am stuffing my face right in front of him.

“Um,” say I, trying to chew really fast, and pulling the door closed behind me so that the food smell won’t waft out.  “Sorry … ”

It’s not the first time this week that Ramadan has reared up.  On Monday I stood in front of someone with a mug of coffee for a full ten minutes before it dawned on me.  For caffeine addicts, Ramadan’s just gotta suck.

Then there’s the friend from grad school who was stocking up on Count Chocula.  “Suhuur’s [the last chance for food before sunrise] just not suhuur without Count Chocula,” he posted on Facebook the other day.  [I should add that he's 35.]
“Yes,” I commented.  “I believe that the Prophet himself said that somewhere.”

After all, what are religious convictions for if you can’t poke fun at them?

Which is what makes this kinda funny:

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Ramadan Kareem, y’all!

Summer’s End

Wednesday, August 26th, 2009

Summer officially ends today here on this esteemed campus of higher learning.  Never mind that today will likely be the 66th consecutive day of 100+ degree temperatures, and that we’re still in a massive drought.  Summer’s over when classes start.

Most years, it seems that I always have something to say about the massive influx of students.  There is something disarming about the arrival of 40,000 students on campus all at once (and believe you me, they all showed up over the weekend).  Our summer school numbers are pretty low here, something I’ve never quite understood since it’s an easy way to relieve that crowding over the rest of the year, but what do I know?

The Bible pushers weren’t out yet this morning when I came in.  You may recall them from a post several years ago in which I lamented my inability to throw out holy scripture that I didn’t want.  I’m sure I’ll see them this afternoon, unless their precious saved souls can’t quite deal with the heat.  That’d be funny.

When I got to my department this morning, I was surprised to find new fliers up everywhere.

We have this professor–I won’t name him because he actually googles himself on a daily basis (and given his narcissism, there’s at least three or four entendres at work in that statement)–who has declared himself the only expert in the bizarre dialect of a language that he teaches.  He’s declared his office the World Headquarters of studies in this particular language.

So, this morning, there are fliers up all over the place.  He’s running some bizarre contest, and god alone knows what the prize will be.  A copy of his most recent biography, I suppose.  (Seriously: he publishes these random books consisting of his journals through one of those “publish it yourself” vanity presses, like we all need to know what his opinion of the canapes at a restaurant that no longer exists is … )

I saw another professor on my way out yesterday.  We joke around the office that he taught Hebrew to Moses — seriously, the guy is almost 90 and still teaching.  I’ve thought to myself that I suppose that I’d like to be that active at his age.  (The other running joke is that he’s still teaching because he’s afraid that if he retires he’ll discover that, after all these years, he really doesn’t like his wife.)  We have come in on Monday mornings and noticed on the switchboard phone that the receiver in his office is off the hook and wondered to ourselves if he failed to hang up properly again, or if this is going to be the time that we key into his office and find him still in there …

He’s also massively grumpy at times, when it comes to things like only four students registered for his class and it’s going to be cancelled due to low enrollment.  This was yesterday’s drama, and he was complaining about it to everyone.  The problem there is that the person he needed to complain to wasn’t in the office, so the rest of it had to hear about it at some length.  He doesn’t talk very loudly or quickly, you see.

The kicker to all of the pre-semester faculty drama is that I had a meeting yesterday that included the faculty member who sent a particularly nasty message at the end of my trip to Cairo.  She was very nice and sweet and pretended like nothing ever happened.  I suppose that’s one way to deal with it, but … for god’s sake, if you’re going to be that bitchy, own it!  Don’t brush it under the rug.  Seriously, does no one understand the finer points of bitchcraft?

At any rate.  I need to go see how we’re doing on the office pool: the first day of classes we always have a pool to guess what time the first panicked student will arrive freaking out because he/she couldn’t get into the class he/she wanted.  Never mind that registration is over and that we’ve been here all summer long — there’s always a handful of them.  I picked 8:45.

I hope your summer is ending smoothly :)

Rest and Relaxation

Thursday, August 20th, 2009

My wanderings around the state have come to an end, and not a moment too soon.  I do enjoy the traveling, but there comes a point when you’re in yet another hotel chain that looks like any other hotel chain (LaQuinta?  Fairfield Inn?  Hampton Inn?  Is there a difference?) when you realize that you simply can’t face one more morning with Faux News blaring in the background over another styrofoam plate and plastic fork breakfast featuring KAW-FEE brand coffee bean product and individually wrapped English Muffins (which are neither English nor muffins.  Discuss).

There is the occasional quirkiness to be had.  Despite the fact that San Angelo–which only two years ago was proudly putting in all of its tourist literature that it had the highest murder rate west of the Mississippi between 1850 and 1870–is now trying to bill itself as the culture capitol of the Panhandle Plains (a title that is disputed by … well, no one), the town is relatively uninteresting.  A tour around town on a Sunday evening revealed a frightening number of businesses with Christian names (such as: Bible Automotive.  I’m not kidding.) and a dearth of business actually open to the public.  After eating Mexican food from a restaurant that clearly used to be a service station (the food wasn’t bad — Bobby Flay had apparently been there at one point), Natalie and I wound up at Baskin Robbins … along with half the town because, as I may have mentioned, there was nothing else open at 7 pm on a Sunday.

Then there was the unexplained psychedelic van (above) that I stopped to photograph on the way out of town.  And this place:

This place practices false advertising: there are no man’s for sale in the man’s shop.

My most recent trip ended a scant three hours ago with a flourish and flutter (literally: the woman sitting next to me apparently cramming for a medical school exam who had refused four requests to put away her book and notes for landing seemed surprised when it all flew up the aisle upon touchdown.  That’ll learn her).

We were over in El Paso, the one place in the state that, it is regularly agreed upon, we must fly to.  I’ve heard rumors that you can drive it in under eight hours now, with the speed limit on I-10 through west Texas now legally at 80 miles per hour, but I’m more happy to reduce it to an hour and twenty minutes on Southwest Airlines.

I have always liked going to El Paso — in fact, I’ve enjoyed all of our trips to the border area, both in West Texas and down in the Rio Grande Valley (for the uninitiated among you, even though technically El Paso is on the Rio Grande, the term “Rio Grande Valley” seems to only apply to the part between Laredo and Brownsville, on the Gulf of Mexico).  We usually get groups that are really energetic and happy to learn, and this was the case with our session yesterday.  One of the guys was so enthusiastic that he engaged me in conversation in the men’s room.  I am not a particular fan of the conversation-while-I-pee.  If you see me in the men’s room, please don’t strike up a conversation until I’m at the sink, OK?

It’s also saying something about the sort of people that Natalie and I are that we kept coming back to the five or so really negative evaluations we collected at the end of the day.  There were 68 people in the room–our largest audience ever.  The vibe was overwhelmingly positive, but we still kept coming back to those negative ones.  I think somehow we just need to validate that the criticism isn’t valid–we’ve gotten unenthusiastic comments before, but this time the people who didn’t like us really didn’t like us, and they weren’t shy about expressing it.

At the end of the day, though, this last trip was a good note to end the late summer training sessions on.  We had a new audience, and they seemed to be happy with what we were doing.  The people who invited us were effervescent.  And then it was off to have a nice drink in the historic Dome Bar in the lobby of our hotel, the historic Hotel Paso del Norte.

And now … I’m home.  Next up is a trip to a conference in San Juan, Puerto Rico toward the end of September.  Technically it’s work.  I just wonder if I can put sunscreen on my expense account :D

Cuh-Cuh-Cuh-Clusterfuck

Tuesday, August 4th, 2009

Note: names have been changed to protect those in need of protecting from my foot up their ass.

Howdy, y’all!

I’m currently in a hotel room right underneath the flight pattern from the active takeoff runway at Houston Intercontinental Airport (Continental’s 777 bound for London went over a little while back — boy, was she noisy!).

Today was not a good day.  In fact, today was the sort of day that the term “clusterfuck” was invented to describe.  I’m over it now, but first … first I’m going to blog about it :twisted:

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