Michael sent me a link to a news article out of Australia about a pastor who was believed–because he told everyone–to be suffering from a recurrence of cancer. Turns out that the problem wasn’t actually cancer — instead, he’s addicted to porn.
Now, if you’re like me, you’re going to sit up in your chair, blink a couple of times, and think to yourself, “How in the world could someone confuse cancer metasticization with porn addiction?” And y’know what? You’d pretty much be on the same page as me.
For example, check this quote from the pastor’s parents:
Mr Guglielmucci said he and his wife were in “absolute shock” to discover their son was not terminally ill.
“We have watched our son go through what we thought was cancer,” he said. “My wife and I, over the past two years, have watched him vomit in buckets, having nosebleeds, and even his hair fell out in clumps at one stage.
“Every time we saw him, we saw symptoms. He stayed with us for a while where we had to put a special air-conditioner in one of the rooms because he would heat up so much in the middle of winter.”
Not to put too fine a point on it, but … it’s PORN!! It’s not like you develop a chemical dependency on it, unless he’s taking it internally…somehow. How does this work? “Oh, no! I can’t log in to Corbin Fisher! knees getting weak … can’t see clearly … need oxygen …. oh, wait, Sex in the City. That’ll do.”
I suspect that a big part of it is that the afflicted is suffering from massive guilt feelings being an evangelical Christian pastor, in which case all I can say is those people need to unclench. Seriously. If the point of religion is to affirm yourself and give you a place in the universe, and instead you’re losing hair and vomiting in buckets, it ain’t working, chumps.
