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About Ramblings of a Hopeless Khowaga

Welcome to my Web site. My name is Chris, and I’ll be your host. I live in Austin, Texas, with my partner, Ray, and our child dog, Mocha. You can read more about me, learn 100 random things about me, and if you’re wondering what the heck a khowaga is, click here. Feel free to browse, read, and leave comments!

Tag: ‘Travel’



I’m on a plane!

Monday, December 26th, 2011

I’m posting this from an airplane just because I can. Does that make me vain and pretentious? Probably, but if you’ve read anything I’ve ever posted, that will come as little surprise to you.

My parents decided to take me to Puerto Rico for Christmas. We missed by a day, but no worries there. My job, in turn, is to make sure they don’t spend the entire trip eating at Outback or Applebee’s (because without firm intervention, they would).

This was kind of a ho-hum year for Christmas shopping — did you feel it, dear readers? I really couldn’t think of anything I had to have to put on my wish list, and most of the people around me seemed to feel the same way. Hence this trip.

Oh, and Delta is offering thirty free minutes of in flight wifi. Even I’m not enough of a sucker to pay for it unless I really, really have to be in touch during the flight, in which case it goes down as a business expense for reimbursement.

Anyway, Feliz Navidad, y’all!

Day Six: Sleepless in Rabat

Tuesday, June 14th, 2011

I am sitting in the courtyard of a converted villa in the swank Souissi district of Rabat, the capital of Morocco, where it is a perfectly pleasant 78 degrees. The courtyard villa is now a language center, and the group is currently taking an introductory language course wherein they are learning the Arabic alphabet. Good for them.

We arrived Sunday … Good grief, was that really just two days ago? … Into Casablanca. The airport was a little dumpier than I remembered it from my last visit three years ago. The customs agent was thrilled that I spoke Arabic and gave me my first language test of the trip:

“Where did you learn Arabic?”
“Egypt,” says I.
“Do you love Egypt?” he asked.
“I do,” says I, “bhebbha kteeran
“Morocco,” he informed me, “is better than Egypt.”

We shall see.

Yesterday was our first full day in Rabat. For the first two weeks that we’re in country, we’ll be here in the capital, a pleasant seaside city of two million. Mornings are taken up with language classes, and afternoons involve lectures and site visits.

As one of the two people in the group with Arabic language training, I’m not in the intro class that was arranged. After a placement test that pretty much used every ounce of my jet lagged brain, I had a long discussion with the placement coordinator. Essentially, it boils down to this: my spoken Arabic is near perfect, but my written grammar is terrible – I flat out forgot how to construct active and passive participles. So, for the next couple of days I’m sitting in on one of the intermediate classes where they’re doing that stuff, and next week I’ll start a class on the Moroccan dialect, which is what I really wanted to do.

The dynamics of language are quite different here than in Egypt. I had been told that Arabic speaking foreigners are somewhat rare in Morocco, which seems odd given the number of foreigners who come here to study. The dining room staff doesn’t know what to do with me, and are more happy to seek discussion with the members of the group who speak French, especially the maitre’d who quite visibly sneered the first evening when I tried to ask him for something in Arabic.

The maids, on the other hand, think I am the best thing ever. They keep stopping me in the hallway to engage me in conversation and it generally takes me forever to dash the few feet from my room to the elevator.

I have photos – quite a few from last evening’s visit to the Chellah (an historic site not too far from the hotel), but I’m on my iPad at the moment and haven’t really had a chance to go through and sort out the good ones. So, stay tuned.

So far the group seems to be doing well. I still haven’t decided if one particular member is eccentric or crazy, but she is, at least, crazy in a non offensive way.

And that’s all for now. More dispatches later…

12 of 12: January 2010

Tuesday, January 12th, 2010

Howdy, 12 of 12ers!  Happy New Year!  I hope your new year is off to a good start.

12 of 12 is Chad’s idea – all hail Chad.  He claims this is the last year, but maybe if we collectively whine loud enough …

If you’re really into all out geekiness, check out my 365 photo project that I started on January 1!

Anyway …

8:53 am: Kahve Içmek Istiyorum

January2010--1

I’m a late riser today—I’m driving out to San Angelo, Texas, in the afternoon and see no pressing (no pun intended) need to go into the office first thing.  Ray is home, too, as he got laid off last week (more on that if you’re curious).  We’re doing fine – he’s signed up for extra classes this semester, and we’ve got enough to tide us over for a while.  It’s just, y’know, a completely sucky situation.

9:28 am: Today’s Gratuitous Picture of Mocha

January2010--2

I know better than to try to run a set of 12 without one :)

9:50 am: Packing

January2010--3

These are the clothes that have been ordained for tomorrow …

11:40 am: Lunch

January2010--4

It’s a buffalo chicken panini from a place that does flatbreads.  Makes a nice break from what we have in the pantry.

12:55 pm: My Nemesis

January2010--5

This is Chloe.  Chloe is Natalie’s cat.  Chloe has significant disdain for everyone who is not Natalie, and is generally homicidal toward anyone who is not Natalie and also male.  Chloe hates me, and has tried on more than one occasion to kill me.  (It probably has something to do with the fact that Chloe usually sees me when I’m coming to pick Natalie up for a business trip, meaning that I’m the reason that Chloe will be alone for a while.)  If you are a cat person and making, “Oooh, lookattheprettykitty” noises, please know that Chloe will eat you alive if given the chance.

This is her innocent look, which is supposed to lull you into coming close enough for her to pounce.  Don’t let her fool you.

2:45 pm: Pontotoc

January2010--6

Between Llano (that’s “lan-o” – never mind how it should be pronounced) and Brady on the way to San Angelo is this little ghost-town-in-the-making (seriously: three quarters of the buildings are either derelict or boarded up) called Pontotoc.  It has this little old stone farmhouse that has no roof walls or floor, but it’s always intrigued me, so I stopped to take photos.

January2010--7

This is the view from Pontotoc.

5:12 pm: Hotel Sweet Hotel

January2010--8

Never mind that I had to sit in the lobby while they cleaned my room before I could check in … at 4:30 pm.

5:40 pm: You know you’re in the Bible belt when …

January2010--9

Is it me, or is there something contradictory about it being “Bible” automotive and having computer diagnostics?  Either you’re receiving Divine guidance or you’re not, folks…

5:50 pm: Wine

January2010--10

Happily funding the local economy at San Angelo’s only wine bar.

6:56 pm: Nothing says Mexican food like a smoking Buddha.

January2010--11

… kinda speaks for itself.

7:06 pm: Dinner

January2010--12

Decor aside, the food at Armandita’s cafe – which is the sort of place you’d probably drive right by without blinking – is good.  How do I know this?  Most of the clientele spoke Spanish.  This is always a good sign for a Mexican restaurant.  Oh, and the handwritten note from Bobby Flay extolling the virtues of the meal he had there helps too (although it does make me wonder what the heck Bobby Flay was doing in San Angelo, Texas.)

… and now I’m in my hotel room editing photos. How was YOUR 12th?

Confessions of an Arabic Learner

Friday, December 11th, 2009

The other day whilst trying to set up an appointment to discuss a project with our associate chair, she mentioned casually that she couldn’t meet one afternoon because she was supposed to be on Wisconsin Public Radio.

“Really?  Why?”
“I’m … not actually sure,” she said.  “They want to talk about learning Arabic?”

Well, the interview is now online, and it’s quite the doozy.  For those not inclined to listen to the whole 54 minutes, the first five will do it — it’s long enough to establish the following:

  1. The woman doing the interview is a complete idiot.
  2. The woman doing the interview did absolutely no research on how to pronounce the name of the book that she’s supposedly basing the entire interview around (“Al-Kitaab fi ta’alum al-’arabiyya” — she shortens it to “Al-Kitaab,” which means “the book” and would be pronounced as a mashup of the two common English words “kit” and “tab” as they are pronounced by Americans.  Not only can she not do this, she actually changes the way she pronounces it over the course of the hour several times).
  3. The woman doing the interview clearly did not ask one of her interviewees, Mahmoud al-Batal, how to pronounce his name, as she consistently pronounces it wrong (and, again, her pronunciation changes over the course of the hour) — which, I’m sorry, is a horribly egregious error.  I’ve had people make sure they’re pronouncing MY name correctly before, and my name is pretty damned easy.
  4. The goal of the interview is to make learning Arabic sound as difficult as humanly possible.  Whether this was the stated goal or not, I don’t know, but I was alternately amused and astonished by her inability to move beyond the fact that Arabic is read and written from right-to-left (and also to find out exactly why this is — including, if possible, assigning personal blame for it).

My favorite part of the hour is that you can practically hear the two interviewees looking at each other and trying to nonverbally work out how to respond without calling the interviewer a complete moron.

Anyway, for those who are so inclined, here are some reflections about learning Arabic that I’d like to share.  This is based not only on my knee jerk reaction to this interview, but from the 16 years of experience I’ve had being a white guy learning and speaking Arabic and responding to  questions from those who do not.

Things that are not actually difficult about learning Arabic as a foreign language.

1. The alphabet (more correctly in this case, it’s an abjad).  Arabic has an actual alphabet.  Each letter stands for a specific consonant sound.  It’s not written in characters.  Once you learn the alphabet–which took about three weeks when I started, but that’s because Arabic 101 only met twice a week–it’s a non-issue, and you don’t have to revisit it ever again unless you decide to take up a language that uses the same alphabet but has more letters (Persian, Urdu, and Malaysian, for example), in which case you’ll have to learn the new letters.  It’s really not that hard.

2. Arabic is always written in cursive — even when it’s printed or typed.  It was bewildering the first time that my Arabic instructor, having taught us the letters a, l, k, t, and b (ا ل ك ت ب) put them all together to form “alktab” (al-kitaab, الكتاب), “the book”.  You stare at it for about 10 seconds, and then it clicks.  By the end of the first class of 101, this is not an issue anymore.  I’ve done this with 6th graders.  They can get it.  It’s really not that hard.

Explaining this to Hollywood, on the other hand, is another story.  I’ve lost count of the number of times that I’ve seen Arabic text in the background that doesn’t connect — which, frankly, renders the text unreadable.  Most recently, some characters on the show “FlashForward” traveled to Hong Kong looking for Shohreh Aghdashloo (who must be desperate for work), and stopped by an Iranian restaurant she was known to frequent.  The restaurant’s sign was in English and Persian (written with the Arabic alphabet) … and the Persian letters didn’t connect.

I also once saw improperly formed Arabic tatooed on a guy in a Sean Cody video.  Poor guy.

3. Sounds that aren’t in English. Once you learn how to say them properly, you get over it.  However, contrary to popular belief, there are actually four H sounds in Arabic, and only one of them sounds like forming a spit ball.  The alphabet is fully phonetic — every letter has one sound.  And it’s always the same sound.  Unlike English.  Contemplate, if you will, the utter uselessness of the letters c and x sometime — both simply replicate sounds produced by other letters — x has no unique functions (it can be represented as “eks”), and c’s only unique function is in the syllable “ch” as in “choose”.  K and q aren’t as differentiated as they ought to be — as in, for example, the Arabic ك  and ق

4. Reading and writing from right to left. Although our interviewer gets hung up on this, it’s probably the biggest non-issue of them all.  It just is.

5. The lack of a “be” verb. There is no verb “to be” in Arabic (it’s a Semitic language quirk — there isn’t one in Hebrew, either).  “be” is implied.  To say you’re a student, you say, انا طالب, which is literally “I student.”  The “am” is implied.

Things that are more difficult about learning Arabic as a foreign language.

1. The non-writing of vowels. Like every other Semitic language out there (except, apparently, Amharic, which at some point gave in), along with a number of other languages that use abjads, vowels — specifically short vowels — are not written.  Normally this isn’t such a problem, however, to continue with our example, let’s look at ktb — كتب.  It could be “kutub” (books), it could be “kataba” (he wrote), or it could be “kutiba” (it was written).  You have to figure it out from context, which is a bit of an advanced skill.

2. The lack of cognates with English. The running joke when learning Spanish is that you can add “o” to the end of an English word and make it a Spanish word.  It’s usually not true, but it’s based on the number of cognates between the two languages — words that are similar enough in form and meaning that speakers of one can understand the other.  In Arabic, however, you can’t add “al-” to the front of an English word and make it correct — it’s kind of a crutch that the non-fluent but advanced speakers can use when speaking to a bilingual crowd so as not to break stride — I’ve thrown English words in when I don’t know the Arabic ones — but it doesn’t work in casual conversation.  The only cognates you’re likely to find are ones that were English to begin with: al-internet.  al-kumbyootir.  ad-dimuqraasiya. at-tiknuluujiya.

3. The lack of a “be” verb.  Where the lack of the be verb gets tricky is in the way the language has compensated for it — while there is not a verb for “to be,” there IS what my first Arabic instructor went to very great pains to make sure that we all understood was definitely NOT a verb for “to not be.”  Similarly, there is a not-verb for “to have been.”  Never mind that both look, smell, sound, and function like verbs in every other way, except, of course, for the fact that they’re not verbs.  Dammit.

4. There are no irregular verbs in Arabic. There are 500 regular verbal patterns, 495 of which only apply to one verb each.

5. Broken plurals. Similarly, there are lots of patterns for pluralizing words … and many of them are really irregular.  Grad students like to sit around and make up broken plurals for English to amuse themselves, which is how we decided a few years ago that the plural of “Bi-otch” is “Bowatchaa’”

6. Diglossia.  This is probably the biggest challenge for the learner of Arabic as a foreign language.  “Arabic” — the language that is taught in a classroom, is often Modern Standard Arabic, a constructed high language based on the language of the Qur’an (but not necessarily mutually intelligible with it).  It is grammatically rigid, nuanced, and eloquent.  It is not, however, what people speak in their daily lives.  Countries, regions, cities all have their own dialects that are based on MSA, but have been influenced over the centuries by other factors.

The Egyptian dialect–the one I’m the most familiar with–contains both words of Turkish origin (from the four centuries of Ottoman rule) as well as words of Coptic origin (Coptic is the language of the Egyptian Christian church, and is descended from the ancient Egyptian language).  In fact, I have a book on my shelf that outlines the number of words in Egyptian Arabic that can be traced back to the days of the pharaohs.  The Moroccan dialect, by contrast, contains a lot of words that haven’t been used since the medieval period in other parts of the Arab world, as well as a lot of Berber and French.

When I first arrived in Egypt as an undergrad, I had two years of Modern Standard under my belt and found myself unable to communicate with another living soul.  Those who could speak Modern Standard usually tired of hearing me struggle and would switch to English, which they usually spoke better than I could speak Arabic.

New textbooks now introduce dialect early on — as well they should.  I couldn’t even agree with people — I’d been taught to use the formal na’am, while most people in the eastern Mediterranean actually say aywa.

A few thoughts to throw out there — Arabic is definitely a challenging language, but the things that most people get hung up on aren’t even an issue.  Get over the squiggly letters and the right-to-left, oh interviewers of the world!

And, for God’s sake, quite trying to figure out whose fault it is … yeesh.

So, three gueros walk into a coqui joint …

Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009

We land in San Juan.  Uneventful, except for the clear-air turbulent jump the plane does on the way down.  I can almost make out Morro Castle looming over the entrance to the harbor as we touch down.

I won’t lie – we’re all tired.  The sun went down about halfway through the 2 hour flight from Fort Lauderdale and, from that moment on, we were all looking at our watches.  “Are we there yet?”

The baggage claim at the airport is big and empty and there’s lots of room for rental car desks … there just aren’t any.  We have to take a shuttle a couple of miles to the rental car agency, which is on the frontage road (“Marginal” in the local parlance) of the freeway out of town.  As the shuttle pulled away from the terminal, “Inmortal,” the latest single from La Oreja de Van Gogh, my latest Europop/rock guilty pleasure, started blaring on the radio.  Yay.

It’s Natalie’s birthday today.  I knew she wasn’t happy that she had to spend her birthday in airports, so I stopped off to get a nice slice of cake before we went to the airport, and on the flight from Austin to Fort Lauderdale, we had the flight attendants serve it to her, and the purser had the entire plane sing.  (Never mind the incident where Ray went up front to ask them to do it and they reacted … well, he was moving kind of quickly and was holding my briefcase.  Thank god there were no air marshals on board).

Her birthday also got us a 10% discount on the rental car.

The guy at the rental car place was plenty chatty, which made up for the “You’re in Latin America now” speed of service.  We asked about dinner — we’re all in our traveling clothes, and it’s late.  We were all somewhat of the opinion that we needed to stop on the way to the hotel because once we got to the hotel … we weren’t likely to leave again.  (It wasn’t the wrong assumption).

“You should go into Old San Juan,” he says.  We all look at each other.  Old San Juan is fancier than we’re wanting to be tonight.  “There’s this barbecue place down the street.  The food is good.”

The barbecue place–Bebo’s–is across the street from McDonald’s.  All the McDonald’s employees are eating there.  It’s the sort of place where there’s no menu, no air conditioning, and … well, it’s a good thing that Puerto Rico isn’t a state because the health inspection ….

After a bunch of locals rattle off their orders with no fuss or muss, the lady behind the counter turns to us.  “Is there a menu?” we ask in our worst Spanish.  She half rolls her eyes and gestures at the trays of roasting meat.

We wind up with a plate of roast pork (scrumptious), a plate of roast chicken that could melt in your mouth (I believe my reaction was, “Oh … my … god … “), two grilled plantains, and a plate of french fries.  We are the only white people in the joint.  No one gives us a second glance.  It’s likely the cheapest meal we’ll have here.  And maybe it was the tired, and maybe it was definitely the fact that it was our first meal on the island, but it was goood.

And now we’re at the hotel.  And it turns out that you can get free internet at a 5-star hotel.  Who knew?

I can’t wait to see what this place looks like in the daylight.

 

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